u/BluejayFamous6572

Hey everyone, I’m 26F & for the last year or so I’ve been getting at night what I call these mini “hot flashes”. I’m normally really cold- but then all of a sudden my bodies heats up like crazy for about 10 minutes before cooling back down

This always happens a few days before my period starts & I assume this is PMS? I get a lot of jacked up PMS symptoms & period symptoms… I just have never heard of anyone getting these as PMS just menopause- I don’t think I would be that lucky to get early menopause & be done with my horrid cycles & be naturally sterilized (I’m very much child free!).

I just want to make sure this is technically okay… and if it turns out it is early menopause I’ll throw a legit party- a Goodbye Period party lmao 😂

Thank you!

I’m literally forcing myself to stay awake lol… but tbh im going to need to go to bed here. I’ll write my diary entry for today & if it’s still not up I’m going to bed.

I know things happen- I just wish they would have had someone on their team make an announcement. Especially to all our overseas fans who literally stayed up all night for the release.

Can’t decide for me if it’s Dear Agony or Without You- both are favorites of mine :)

TL;DR should I choose myself & risk not having anyone in my life at all, or choose my loved ones & loose myself? (This goes for all life decisions)

Something that has been on my mind lately… the minute I become “not useful” people in my life are so angry if I try to go my own direction. I guilted because they say I’m “abandoning them.” Even my own mother was furious I wanted my own apartment one day with a cat (she is now supportive of this goal). My best friend told me if I quit the job we share they were so upset and claimed we “wouldn’t see each other anymore” even though we literally talk every night & I only work weekends with them. So many times in my life because are just upset if I leave.

I feel backed in a corner & forced to choose: myself & risk being alone or my loved ones and loosing myself.

My best friend now keeps saying I need to choose myself, but question if they mean it.

I’m tired of pleasing everyone, and when I am wanting to go after my goals getting no support. Yet terrified I will end up all alone. I’m starting to get depressed over this seeing everyone else on social media chasing after their goals & actually receiving support front their loved ones. Some days I question what the fuck I’m even here for… and if it’s only to serve others.

So who am I supposed to choose? Myself or my loved ones?

I’ll share a little about my life & hopefully help someone too. I have four part time jobs that if I were to work maximum hours for it would be 40 hours a week, I also am taking 2 courses this semester & 3 next semester. I also have two undergrad degrees & have been on the Dean’s list every semester of college & graduated undergrad with a 3.95 GPA- AMA! 😁

How do I cope with separation anxiety?

My best friend who is like my second mom (she is many years older than me & kind of “adopted” me) is on a much needed trip away to the other side of the country. I am very proud of her for achieving her goal & happy she is getting her much needed vacation after so much BS.

We usually talk every night, and so far my anxiety has been really calm even though I won’t hear from her much. I miss her like crazy, but use my time to write which is nice. And I have to admit, I think some separation will be good for a little bit.

What is going on is in the morning I wake, find myself grabbing my phone right away to see if she messaged me over night (she is now several hours behind me) & my stomach hurts. I wake up with stomach/gut troubles I only get when anxious… and I think it’s because my other “mother” figure is “gone” and my body is kind of freaking out. I feel better as the day goes on & I remind myself that she is on vacation, okay, and happy.

I have dealt with extreme separation anxiety since infancy, and it even caused me not to leave my house unless it was work/school because I would get so sick with anxiety at the thought of leaving my mom. Now I leave my house all the time & even travel too!

I’m honestly embarrassed to say I still struggle with this issue even though I’m almost thirty- it’s a lot better, but still… my mind & body needs to stop relying on mother figures to feel okay.

Does anyone have any tips so I stop waking up feeling stomach sick from the anxiety? I don’t want to deal with this all week while she is gone. Thank you!