u/Best-Source-4749

This morning I called my sister asking if she was planning to go see a patient I’m going to see this afternoon. We both take care of him. I ask her so I know what I have to get before going to his place. She said she wouldn’t be going to see him and if I could pass by for things I will need for him. I said ok she asked if I was going right now. I responded yeah I’m passing by then heading to see our mom. (My sister lives in between my mom and I.) She then asked if I could pass by Starbucks for her and that she would send me money because she’s running a little late and had to go soon. She’s always running late everywhere. I told her yeah im not going over there. She responded oh ok that’s fine. I know she was clearly bothered but I didn’t say yes regardless.

My mom then called me 5 mins later upset and asked me you’re really not going to pass by starbucks? I was like no i head to her place the opposite direction (mind you we live very close to each other and Starbucks is down the street for both of us). She responded raising her voice you can never do a favor she helps you so much and you can’t do that. I got very upset because favors are all i do for people. I finally yelled back I’m not an uber. She lives the same distance from Starbucks. Then my mom clicked. I didn’t call her back and decided I’m not visiting my mom today and that I would pass by my sisters place later instead. Then sent her a text “Just leave the things at your place. I’m not going to my mom’s so I’ll pass by later.” She has a key in a lock so I can go inside even if she’s not home.

I’m sure she’s aware our mom called me to yell and be rude. Everytime I say no she’ll go complaining to our mom and I’ll end up arguing with our mom. Mind you she is double my age but acts like a child. We aren’t close because she’s always been a very selfish, manipulative person. I stopped going out of my way doing favors for her for a couple weeks now. I’ve realized she only calls me when she needs something. It just amazes me how something as simple as me saying no to going to Starbucks led to all of this. Mind you I know she’s still at her place almost an hour after this incident occurred. If there were really urgency she wouldn’t be there right now.

I need advice as to how to deal with things like this. I’m not looking to get into an argument with anyone anymore. Clearly arguing doesn’t get the message across. I’m sick and tired of my mom thinking it’s ok to lash out at me whenever I don’t do as she or others wish. I want to know if anyone has experienced something similar to this and how they dealt with it or how they responded?

This morning I called my sister asking if she was planning to go see a patient I’m going to see this afternoon. We both take care of him. I ask her so I know what I have to get before going to his place. She said she wouldn’t be going to see him and if I could pass by for things I will need for him. I said ok she asked if I was going right now. I responded yeah I’m passing by then heading to see our mom. (My sister lives in between my mom and I.) She then asked if I could pass by Starbucks for her and that she would send me money because she’s running a little late and had to go soon. She’s always running late everywhere. I told her yeah im not going over there. She responded oh ok that’s fine. I know she was clearly bothered but I didn’t say yes regardless.

My mom then called me 5 mins later upset and asked me you’re really not going to pass by starbucks? I was like no i head to her place the opposite direction (mind you we live very close to each other and Starbucks is down the street for both of us). She responded raising her voice you can never do a favor she helps you so much and you can’t do that. I got very upset because favors are all i do for people. I finally yelled back I’m not an uber. She lives the same distance from Starbucks. Then my mom clicked. I didn’t call her back and decided I’m not visiting my mom today and that I would pass by my sisters place later instead. Then sent her a text “Just leave the things at your place. I’m not going to my mom’s so I’ll pass by later.” She has a key in a lock so I can go inside even if she’s not home.

I’m sure she’s aware our mom called me to yell and be rude. Everytime I say no she’ll go complaining to our mom and I’ll end up arguing with our mom. Mind you she is double my age but acts like a child. We aren’t close because she’s always been a very selfish, manipulative person. I stopped going out of my way doing favors for her for a couple weeks now. I’ve realized she only calls me when she needs something. It just amazes me how something as simple as me saying no to going to Starbucks led to all of this. Mind you I know she’s still at her place almost an hour after this incident occurred. If there were really urgency she wouldn’t be there right now.

I need advice as to how to deal with things like this. I’m not looking to get into an argument with anyone anymore. Clearly arguing doesn’t get the message across. I’m sick and tired of my mom thinking it’s ok to lash out at me whenever I don’t do as she or others wish. I want to know if anyone has experienced something similar to this and how they dealt with it or how they responded?

This morning I called my sister asking if she was planning to go see a patient I’m going to see this afternoon. We both take care of him. I ask her so I know what I have to get before going to his place. She said she wouldn’t be going to see him and if I could pass by for things I will need for him. I said ok she asked if I was going right now. I responded yeah I’m passing by then heading to see our mom. (My sister lives in between my mom and I.) She then asked if I could pass by Starbucks for her and that she would send me money because she’s running a little late and had to go soon. She’s always running late everywhere. I told her yeah im not going over there. She responded oh ok that’s fine. I know she was clearly bothered but I didn’t say yes regardless.

My mom then called me 5 mins later upset and asked me you’re really not going to pass by starbucks? I was like no i head to her place the opposite direction (mind you we live very close to each other and Starbucks is down the street for both of us). She responded raising her voice you can never do a favor she helps you so much and you can’t do that. I got very upset because favors are all i do for people. I finally yelled back I’m not an uber. She lives the same distance from Starbucks. Then my mom clicked. I didn’t call her back and decided I’m not visiting my mom today and that I would pass by my sisters place later instead. Then sent her a text “Just leave the things at your place. I’m not going to my mom’s so I’ll pass by later.” She has a key in a lock so I can go inside even if she’s not home.

I’m sure she’s aware our mom called me to yell and be rude. Everytime I say no she’ll go complaining to our mom and I’ll end up arguing with our mom. Mind you she is double my age but acts like a child. We aren’t close because she’s always been a very selfish, manipulative person. I stopped going out of my way doing favors for her for a couple weeks now. I’ve realized she only calls me when she needs something. It just amazes me how something as simple as me saying no to going to Starbucks led to all of this. Mind you I know she’s still at her place almost an hour after this incident occurred. If there were really urgency she wouldn’t be there right now.

I need advice as to how to deal with things like this. I’m not looking to get into an argument with anyone anymore. Clearly arguing doesn’t get the message across. I’m sick and tired of my mom thinking it’s ok to lash out at me whenever I don’t do as she or others wish. I want to know if anyone has experienced something similar to this and how they dealt with it or how they responded?