u/Avelene

When we broke up I was so devastated, couldn’t imagine my life without him, I wanted him back so bad despite him treating me like crap. I was so happy when he told me he wants us back. The day he moved back in though… He told me he felt forced to fix things between us and didn’t really want to be here with me. How can you do that to a person? My heart broke to pieces this very moment, I never was the same. He didn’t leave though, proceeded to stay with me for 1.5 more years until I didn’t let him anymore. I should have walked away ages ago. Opening my soul to such a piece of shit was a mistake.

He looks very upset that I left him and is trying to lovebomb me into coming back. And I hate that seeing him sad hurts me still, even after all the horrible stuff that he did to me. I have to restrain myself from wanting to comfort him and not believe his fake efforts. He sure didn’t show me any sympathy when he broke up with me as punishment. I wish he was a normal non-abusive person. If he could be as nice as he is in those times in-between the fights I’d stay with him forever. But he can’t and I had to choose myself in the end.

We both agreed we don’t want to be with each other this Tuesday. He was incredibly emotionally abusive towards me and I was just tired. He was kind of postponing moving out and yesterday he dropped this bombshell on me.

So he comes up, says let’s not rush things, talk it out, maybe we can fix it. I’m tensed up, asking what exactly is there to discuss. He starts talking about stuff that is completely unrelated to the horrible shit he did to me that I said I was leaving him over, that apparently was not what we needed to fix in his opinion. I then demand that we do talk about the things he did right this instant, hoping that I may at least get my apology.

The things I brought up:

- him being rude about taking me to the airport at night when my grandma died and I needed yo get to the funeral. He drives everywhere all the time but one time I needed that had to be the time he decided to give me silent treatment for about a week, not asking me how I’m doing or anything

- him saying that I’m grieving the death of my grandma wrong and therefore don’t deserve his support

- him picking horrible pointless fights with me when I was dealing with high stress and unrelated to him possible financial issues. Took 2 flights in a single day, stressed out of my mind, during dinner he wants to break up over me not buying some type of pasta he wanted thus day

That list could go on for a very long time, these are just the most painful things.

And guess what he fucking did. For the first point he quickly said sorry about the « emotional part » but for the logistical part, you see, I should have understood how hard it is for him to have to take a ride somewhere at night, so basically I’m guilty. Second point, he first denied, then said «I guess it wasn’t nice » while also describing my behaviour that day as ridiculous. Third point, he quickly apologised but then moved on to some instances where he was offended by something I did. We spent way more time discussing how I used the annoyed tone with him or some such, how unheard he feels, how this conversation isn’t what he wanted it to be. Complete blame shifting!

And then the best part: he tried to tell me that it isn’t right to talk about relationship issues with your family. All should be kept in because family can turn you against your SO. We need to protect each other from our families. The guy let his mother be a total bitch to me all the time before! Such ridiculous fucking bullshit! He wants me to stop telling people what he did to isolate me and make it harder to leave! Just recently I told him about a moment in the book Lolita where the disgusting old man does this exact thing.

Dudes, un-fucking-believable. We’re still breaking up. I don’t want this life for any second longer.