u/Aloo13

I’m in Canada, and in light of the recent post highlighting issues with finding horses, I’m experiencing a lot of the same challenges.

I’ve been looking for over a year and still haven’t found the right fit. I’m specifically hoping for a younger horse, ideally between 2–5 years old. Unfortunately, I’m finding that many horses around 3 years old are already being started under saddle at 2 and sellers are asking quite a lot, which raises concerns for me about potential long-term joint issues.

I’m starting to wonder if I should broaden my search to areas I can’t drive to, but that honestly makes me nervous. I’ve never bought a horse sight unseen, and I wouldn’t even know where to start. Do people ask sellers for specific verification videos like having them say the date or write their name on camera to confirm authenticity? 😅

I’m not sure if this is a bad idea or just part of the process nowadays. I’d really appreciate advice or guidance from anyone who has been in a similar situation.

I’m almost 2-years into nursing and I feel like I’m not quick or as competent as I should be.

My first role out of school was the ED. I went through 4 preceptors as my first 3 left for new jobs one after the other. I vibed well with the first one who took the time to show and teach me things, but then other preceptors kept getting exceedingly hard assignments due to people leaving so they often weren’t able to let me have much hands on. My third one often didn’t show up to work due to health issues. The 4th one was late into my orientation and very hard on me. After a few preceptors left, I started noticing snide comments when I asked a question and it soon escalated where people were purposely feeding me wrong information or one time I saw someone actually tampering with a CT on one of my patients. Honestly some really disgusting stuff happened and I can never look at nursing with the same amount of respect I had for it after that experience. I had contemplated leaving nursing entirely but my manager at the time who was aware of the bullying encouraged me to stay in nursing and helped me find a more welcoming unit. I left before my year was up, but it really shook me and I haven’t gained my confidence back since.

I took a break at a lower acuity unit for a while. I was doing pretty well there and a resource for the unit. I also assumed charge frequently while there. The people were great to work with a management was communicative, until they changed. Then we were bombarded with assignments. Ultimately while I liked the people, I didn’t love the nature of bedside and I was getting more depressed by every week I stayed.

So I went to the OR. I loved learning about surgery but as it happens the OR is also in a shortage and plagued by the same orientation problem I’ve found in every other nursing orientation in which the actual orientation doesn’t feel very standardized. I’m kind of just thrown with whoever and frequently get contradicting statements about what is supposed to be done. It’s also frequent that people just do things to be quick and don’t always teach me how to do them, then I’m expected to see it once and do it at top speed for the next. The nurses are okay for the most part, but I frequently hear them gossiping about other coworkers so I bet they do the same about me. Some surgeons are also awful to work with and I swear they think anyone circulating can aparate and read minds. One day on orientation I showed up and I was the only person assigned to a room with no one to help set up.

I’m just really really tired of the lack of maturity and attitudes in the hospital more than anything. I’m also tired of the lack of structure and official check offs in orientation. All this time I have been just a warm body to fill a space and I truly feel no one actually cares about the quality of education we get as new nurses. If I don’t know something and ask, then I get ripped a new one or an eye roll. I don’t feel like it is a safe learning environment or team environment at all. A lot of people in my nursing class have already quit and I know several more who are looking to leave and I get it because I’m also planning to leave at the end of the year. This profession has only chipped away at my confidence, made me hate working with people, and gave me depression and anxiety.

I’ve been friends with this person for over 10 years. She said something hurtful that I don’t think she intended badly, but it still bothered me as it was a trend of comments that felt personal to me. At the time, I was traveling to see her, so I chose not to bring it up immediately because the timing felt wrong and I wanted to avoid reacting rashly.

Life then became busy with work, family illness, and winter, so a few months passed before I finally brought it up gently over text. Instead of focusing on my concern, she fixated on how long I had waited to mention it. Although she apologized, she also became defensive, suggesting I must think she’s a terrible person and even questioning the friendship.

I reassured her that wasn’t the case. That I simply value honesty. We ended the conversation calmly, but she never responded afterward. It’s now been over a month. I reached out a few days ago and it seems she hasn’t seen it yet, but that is also a bit unusual in my experience.

I’d miss the friendship, but I’m exhausted by the immaturity. I don’t understand this mentality to cut off people when they reasonably question something. When I make mistakes, I take accountability and move forward. Refusing to communicate over a respectful concern doesn’t feel level-headed.

Does the original seller get compensated for this? When I requested a refund I assumed I would be able to send the item back and this just feels wrong?