u/AffectionateRich2216

My question is honestly how I should handle this and how to look out for myself as I’m lowkey scared! I tried to share my story the other day, however I wrote my post quickly and a lot of things weren’t included.

Someone contacted me via a friend through instagram to get to know me. He’s 39 M, and I’m 32 F. I agreed to it and we spoke for 2 days. I felt we weren’t on the same level on many areas. He works in elderly care but made a weird comment on Muslim women working in the same field. He said such a job isn’t suitable for a veiled Muslim woman as it included personal hygiene, foul smells and other things. I worked with elderly people 3 years ago as a side job when I was studying. No shame in any job!

I’m now graduated and I work in the same field I studied! Not to brag but this is what I’ve worked hard for.

Furthermore I do have a citizenship in the country I live, and he has stayed here for 10 years and just applied for permanent residency. Tbh, to some it doesn’t matter but I truly wish my partner having citizenship as I’ve grown up with not having it nor my family and we struggled a lot!

His grammar was awful as well and sometimes it felt he used AI as his sentences sounded very weird. Another thing that I really didn’t like was how he mentioned that he’s “known” me or been watching me for 6 years. He didn’t approach me as he didn’t think I was the same nationality as him. He knows my whole family and sees us when we go out for a walk. Very uncomfortable.

Anyway, I didn’t want to string him alone I wrote him a respectful message telling him we aren’t a match and I wished him best of luck. I didn’t block him. He send me a message immediately saying “ok, thanks”. Then he send a voice message which I didn’t open. A couple of hours later he deleted the messages. I was hesitant whether to block or not but found out he blocked me and then I blocked back.

I just couldn’t proceed when I didn’t feel it was the right thing to do for me. Something felt off and I didn’t proceed.

After I politely ended the contact, he sent me long emotional messages through another app called Threads.

In the messages, he said he was deeply hurt by me and that my behaviour was unacceptable, even though he had treated me with respect. He said he had deleted his previous messages out of respect for me, but that after seeing he had been blocked, he felt he could not stay silent.

What unsettled me was the intensity of the wording. He wrote that he is “a real man in every sense of the word,” that he values himself highly, and that he had protected himself for many years so that no one would treat him this way. He also said that his “precious soul” refused to stay silent, and that I had broken all the good thoughts he had about me.

He also said that he only wanted to approach me in a respectful way for marriage, and that he had simply wanted to see me once in person. He added that chemistry comes from meeting and getting to know someone, and implied that I had not given him a fair chance. In essence he felt entitled or like I owed him a meeting.

The messages felt very guilt-tripping and emotionally intense, especially considering we had only spoken very briefly.

I’m truly shaken. I’ve never experienced anything like it. I’m not an evil person but I’m at a certain age where I must protect myself, and do what feels right for me. I can’t please everyone. I’m just scared when I go out since I feel watched and now I’m being watched by someone who hates me.

Hej alle sammen

Jeg er helt på bare bund når det kommer til boligmarkedet. Jeg ønsker virkelig at flytte hjemmefra og købe mit eget. Det kan være jeg bor hjemme nu “gratis”, men man betale oftest med noget mere dyrebart som er indre ro. Den kan jeg desværre ikke længere finde derhjemme.

Lad os tage denne bolig som eksempel, hvad skal jeg betale om måneden? Og hvis jeg giver mere end de 135k, hvad betyder det så? Lad os antage at jeg kan give 150k.

Hvad skal man generelt være opmærksom på?

Tusind tak på forhånd.

I never wanted this or asked for this. Nothing like a mothers love but mine just didn’t love me … she keeps on hurting and bullying me. I’ve reached a point where I genuinely don’t love her anymore.

Coming from a Middle Eastern background parents only wish is to get their kids married. I’ve reached the age of 32. That’s a nightmare to them. I’ve fought all my life. I got a European citizenship, I studied and finished school, and now working in my field. They never ever acknowledged this and I was never enough or worthy in my moms eyes.

Whenever someone shows interest I give them a chance and I’m never arrogant. In fact, I don’t even have any boundaries. These men are way below menwhen it comes to education, work, intelligence and finance. I’ve never wished to marry a doctor and people are more than a degree. However, reality hits me when I feel there is a big gap anyway. My parents especially my mom would say hurtful things, she would do anything to make me feel as worthless as possible. That my desires and my dreams are unreasonable. I’m too arrogant. She’s going to die soon and I’m going to end up alone.

She has my dad and my siblings around her little finger. I’m the one who constantly feels insane. I’m so lonely and isolated in my family. I’ve tried therapy without any success.

My only option is to move out, however I’d lose all my family. How on earth do I set boundaries with them, especially my mom. Another thing she cooks, cleans and do a lot of the household chores and she feels that is love.

How do I lead my life as a 32 year old woman, standing firm that my dreams about a good husband are valid, and that I shouldn’t settle to please people around me. I feel so alone. Hurt. Heartbroken.