My boyfriend of three months and I are going through a huge argument and I’m not sure if I am being unreasonable for being upset. His parents want him to marry a girl within their ethnicity. I am currently feeling unstable in our relationship because he told me that if they tell him they can’t accept me, we are breaking up no matter what. He says he’s unable to tell them about me right now because he thinks our relationship needs more time so he can make a stronger case essentially. After I asked, he told me that even after three years of dating, if his parents say no then we are over. I argued that this is really unfair to me because how am I supposed to ever feel stable then. He then clarified that he would only break up with me if his parents told him they would disown him if he stayed with me. He argued that I have similar boundaries, like he had to move out of the country cause he couldn’t find a job opportunity in our current city, I wouldn’t be willing to move there (he means like he would move back to China, I obviously cannot move there with him because I am not even Chinese). So his point is that we are both just “listing extreme scenarios” and if I am being this sensitive about this I should just break up with him. I understand what he is saying in a sense, but I don’t really know how to feel and I’m really stressed out. I don’t know if he really believes if it is worth being with me and I don’t know how I feel either anymore?
u/Accomplished_Belt461
F22 (me) and M24 (three months) are going through a huge argument and I’m not sure if I am being unreasonable for being upset. His parents want him to marry a girl within their ethnicity. I am currently feeling unstable in our relationship because he told me that if they tell him they can’t accept me, we are breaking up no matter what. He says he’s unable to tell them about me right now because he thinks our relationship needs more time so he can make a stronger case essentially. After I asked, he told me that even after three years of dating, if his parents say no then we are over. I argued that this is really unfair to me because how am I supposed to ever feel stable then. He then clarified that he would only break up with me if his parents told him they would disown him if he stayed with me. He argued that I have similar boundaries, like he had to move out of the country cause he couldn’t find a job opportunity in our current city, I wouldn’t be willing to move there (he means like he would move back to China, I obviously cannot move there with him because I am not even Chinese). So his point is that we are both just “listing extreme scenarios” and if I am being this sensitive about this I should just break up with him. I understand what he is saying in a sense, but I don’t really know how to feel and I’m really stressed out. I don’t know if he really believes if it is worth being with me and I don’t know how I feel either anymore.
My boyfriend of three months and I are going through a huge argument and I’m not sure if I am being unreasonable for being upset. His parents want him to marry a girl within their ethnicity. I am currently feeling unstable in our relationship because he told me that if they tell him they can’t accept me, we are breaking up no matter what. He says he’s unable to tell them about me right now because he thinks our relationship needs more time so he can make a stronger case essentially. After I asked, he told me that even after three years of dating, if his parents say no then we are over. I argued that this is really unfair to me because how am I supposed to ever feel stable then. He then clarified that he would only break up with me if his parents told him they would disown him if he stayed with me. He argued that I have similar boundaries, like he had to move out of the country cause he couldn’t find a job opportunity in our current city, I wouldn’t be willing to move there (he means like he would move back to China, I obviously cannot move there with him because I am not even Chinese). So his point is that we are both just “listing extreme scenarios” and if I am being this sensitive about this I should just break up with him. I understand what he is saying in a sense, but I don’t really know how to feel and I’m really stressed out. I don’t know if he really believes if it is worth being with me and I don’t know how I feel either anymore.