My girlfriend (29) and I (29). Are not on the same page. We have three kids between us from previous marriages that we have half the time. She struggles to communicate her feelings and bottles them up. I think communicating our feelings to each other is the most important thing in a relationship. She gets overwhelmed easily, whether it’s with work, the kids, finances and she doesn’t express that in a healthy way. I tell her I understand her concerns but she needs to communicate those things in a healthy way. I’m always told that I’m being unsupportive if I have a different opinion even if I tell her (and repeat back to her) how she feels. It seems like I just have to agree with her or keep my feelings about her actions to myself out of fear of a fight. I help with chores, I listen to her when she talks, I work full time, I’m an involved parent, but it feels like the second I disagree with her about something, or try to calm her down (I don’t just say calm down btw). She loses control and things get worse. She refuses to go to therapy herself, she backed out of couples counseling because the therapist started focusing mainly on her. And it feels like she doesn’t trust me to help her navigate through this with her.
TLDR: How do I validate my girlfriend’s emotions if we disagree, while also not abandoning my needs and my request for healthy communication.