u/ALac93

I have a 15 month old and around her first birthday my husband and I decided we were one and done. A high risk pregnancy, scary postpartum (PPD, PPA, chronic health issues developed, infertility pre-pregnancy), colicky little girl who cried and cried… no part of it made us want to do this all again. I felt so guilty I didn’t enjoy all of it like I knew I should have. Instead, all of it felt so heavy. We (husband included) weren’t ourselves for the first year of her life, full of rage and stress and anxiety.

And now… I feel like alas, the grief of not having more children is lifting. And I will say what a wonderful place to be at mentally. Grief has slowly turned into gratitude and more presentness for my daughter, and our life. I no longer get sad at others pregnancy announcements or feel envy at the moms with 3 kids under 3 who seems to be juggling it all with grace. I actually wouldn't want to be them and realized comparing was stealing my joy. I feel relief that we have our family complete, and we can move on with our life as she continues to grow - for us the baby phase felt like this season we couldn’t wait to get out of and knowing we never have to do it again allows us to cherish every bit of her even more.

I knew I was finally past grief when my sister who has a 12 month old started talking about how she can’t wait to have another, and I instantly felt the tension in my body wondering why.. life is so good right now do we really need a newborn around again 😂

so to all the parents struggling with this decision (or in our case not a decision we made ourselves), I hope you eventually find peace. This sub and others sharing their experiences and reasons for being OAD has helped me cope and get to the place I am at today :)

I always hear people talking about how they get up before their babies/kids for the day to set the tone for their day and to have time for themself etc etc. I have never been able to do this because my daughter (14 months old) is a low sleep needs baby and very early waker - 4:30-5am is her daily wake up time. so people who say this is triggering because typically these kiddos are sleeping until normal times (6, 7, 8:00).

this morning I happened to get up anticipating her waking at 4:30 but she slept until 5:20, and wow that almost hour I had to sip my coffee and watch some tv and start my day with some quietness was MAGICAL.

i envy people who get that opportunity every morning, because it really helped set my mindset for the day being able to wake up and slowly start my day, compared to being woken up out of a sound sleep by crying lol.

for anyone who has early wakers and low sleep needs kids, you know we live different lives and have a different parenting experience. Will I do it again willingly? definitely not, but maybe one day she will sleep past 6 and I will get to experience this again :)

my daughter (14 months old) has been walking since 11 months old. shes always been a tippie toer. she runs and walks on her tippie toes. someone saw her doing this and told me I need to get her evaluated for autism.

I know that this is normal when they first start walking. But the comment did not sit well with me.

my daughter is 14 months old so I still consider myself a new mom and that I have no clue what I’m doing. I’m a SAHM and she is our only child. I devout most of my time and attention into her all day errrr day.

my daughter really doesn’t like toys. She’s a stage 5 clinger, so she prefers to just be doing whatever Im doing, but I sometimes worry am I not doing enough of like learning with toys ya know things you see on social media - learning shapes, animal sounds, etc. She does love books, however. I TRY to do these other things with her but she loses interest immediately and it feels like I can’t find the “perfect” toys for her. My kid prefers to help me unload the dishwasher, sweep, vaccum, swiffer the floors, do the laundry, cook and prep food, walk the dog, unpack the groceries, weed/garden.. practical life skills. She’s actually incredible at it and loves being helpful and cries to be involved and dislikes if i try to set up a toy to ”distract“ her rather than include her.

if we’re not doing these things or out, she honestly just loves cuddling and laying on me on the floor lol. Sometimes I feel like I should be doing more, but she has little to no interest in toys. This morning she spent 30 minutes playing with her jacket trying to put it on herself - and she managed to! 

I’ve read this type of learning is more “montissori” which i find so interesting..

curious to hear if anyone else has/had kiddos that prefer this type of learning, and how they turned out? :)

I have a low sleep needs 14.5 month old. I have struggled with her dang sleep since the day she was born. We have tried it all, spent thousands on sleep consultants, so I'm not necessarily seeking advice but I am curious if other's around her age are still taking 2 naps a day?

My daughter's schedule is below. She simply CANNOT tolerate longer wake windows. We tried a 1 nap schedule for a month and she was an absolute mess, she never adjusted, would randomly fall asleep on me or the floor or her high chair out of pure exhaustion, and her early morning wakes did not improve

Wake 4:30-5AM (YES THAT EARLYYYYYY)

Nap 9-9:45AM

Nap 2:30-3:15PM (both naps are capped)

Bedtime 8PM

So WW are approximately 4/4.75/4.75 (if i am mathing correctly)

Total sleep is about 10.5 hours in a day.

I do not ever see glimpses of days where she feels ready to be awake longer, so I know dropping a nap isn't realistic for her. And I can't force her to stay awake longer.

P.S. posting this solely in this group because I know I will receive gentler comments then if I posted in a general toddler sub, likely telling me I have to force my child to a 1 nap sched.

I am in need of advice from others dealing with estrogen dominance. During my pregnancy I was diagnosed with colostasis. Postpartum I started having all these weird issues. I will list below. I was diagnosed with MCAS about a year ago and after various functional med testing it appears that I have very high estrogen to progesterone levels, and an issue with detoxing estrogen.

about 3 weeks ago I started the following supplements to address this, and the first week and a half I noticed a huge improvement in symptoms and then things went back to the way they’ve been

Broccoli sprout extract (genetic tests showed DIM was not a good Fit)

TUDCA

Luteolin

progesterone

I also take Claritin and zyrtec daily, as well as some other supplements (vitamin a c molybdenum, magnesium, glycine, some other things for sleep and neurotransmitter support)

my major symptoms are INSOMNIA chronic chronic insomnia. like days of not sleeping and the physical inability to sleep. Severe itching. Brain fog, mood swings, heat intolerance, physical anxiety (More but those are the main).

I simply cannot do this anymore. I am a SAHM taking care of a very busy and active toddler. these health issues are ruining my life.