r/bninfantsleep

I need to come to a sub where people won't immediately tell me to sleep train and just VENT!

My baby (10months) is SO clingy while she's sleeping that I actually am starting to get touched out. I will roll away and IN HER SLEEP she will lurch around the bed to find me. She is relentless. She will grab my shirt so tightly it's like she's trying to keep me there.

Most nights she gives me anywhere from 30-40 min at a time after I roll away before I have to come back and settle her. Tonight it was 17, after 45 minutes of trying to escape.

Please let me know if you had/have a baby as clingy as mine and when they stopped needing to physically be touching you to sleep. I'm really struggling today. I just want an hour to myself where no one is touching me.

So my almost 10 month old, EBF baby has decided that he’s on strike against going to sleep period tonight. We have a rigid bedtime routine, he was exhausted and so I tried to nurse him to sleep as usual. He refused to go to sleep his usual way (combo of nursing, rocking, and patting). He is arching his back and his whole body is going so stiff it hurts my arms to keep ahold of him. I needed to step away from the fit, so i set him down in his crib. Immediately hes happy as a clam, but refusing to lay down. Instead he‘s jumping, playing with his sleep sack, trying to get me to play peekaboo, whatever. I leave the room to collect myself, he continues to play happily in his crib for about 10 minutes and then begins to cry. I go back in immediately, pick him up and he cries HARDER and resumes the back arching and fighting me. He absolutely will not cosleep to get to bed, though we do sometimes after 3 am if he’s having a hard time going back down.

Yall. What do I even do.

I've got a 5mo LO and my husband and I have been wondering about when it is biologically possible for a baby to put themselves to sleep without feeding or rocking. Baby is definitely beginning to have much longer wake windows, so I'm just going based off vibes and he falls asleep when he feeds or is rocked....

I like to go out and do things so we have no real nap routine. We are very lucky that we have a baby who sleeps fairly well overnight. (He used to do 11pmish to 7am, but then the 4 month sleep regression happened and he now does 10pmish to 8am with 2 wakes - still pretty banging imo). He naps for maybe a total of 3 or 4 hours in the day in total.

Context: We are fairly happy with his sleep in general - its not a problem for us in this stage. He only sleeps in the crib at night and all daytime naps are in a carseat/carried/babywearing. Side question: Should I also be getting him to do some naps in the crib in the day???

Back to my main question- when is it biologically appropriate for a baby to be put down and get themselves off to snoozetown?

The last few days we haven’t had any kind of schedule due to travel and events. It’s been a lot!

So I’m able to get back into a routine and I’m not sure where to start.

She’s been having a LOT of false starts and night wakings.

Our best night recently she had a total of about an hour of naps that day 😅 obviously not age appropriate! But we were visiting family and her fomo won that day. We got 2 long stretches that night!

So that makes me think maybe I should move to two naps and stretch wake windows?

Where should I start since we don’t really have a good baseline now?

She wakes up every 1-2 hours most nights and I’m tired 😴

Hes 20 weeks old

Never slept longer than a 4 hr stretch and thats rare

Fed to sleep, sleeps next to me in a bassinet. Usually 2-3 hr stretch then hourly wakes. Now… this

I tried cosleeping but hes not used to it yet and my body is too tense, completely fucked up my back and shoulder

Im getting desperate

I dont want to sleep train

For naps he started fighting my usual merhod of rocking to sleep, but would fall asleep after minimal fuss of me laying next to him cuddling him. Husband stands and sways with him holding him diagonally to get him to nap, but its hard bc hes heavy

A friend suggested just letting him fuss and cry and comforting him via touch so he gets used to falling asleep in his sleep space but he doesnt give a fuck about that and it feels wrong to me. It feels different to me trying everything and him still crying anyway. Idk if that makes sense

Help

My LO is 4 months and he has settled into a really consistent bedtime routine - bath, book, bottle, bed. He goes down between 7 and 7:30pm every day. He goes into his crib either drowsy or awake but will always put himself to sleep and has done for at least a month. However, once he wakes from his first sleep stretch, he wakes every hour like clockwork and needs help resettling which can take over an hour each time. The most frustrating thing is that there is no consistency with how long the first stretch is. He has, on 5 occasions within the last month, slept 8-9 hours, mostly averages about 6 hours, but we also do see him wake at 11pm and then our entire night is destroyed with wake ups.

He will drink well throughout the day and naps 3 to 4 times a day. His naps struggle to exceed 30 minutes unless being held or in a stroller. When we compare his sleep with days where he had long first stretches, he could have exactly the same naps and milk the next day and only sleep for 4 hours.

I feel like we have tried everything. We’ve tried putting him down drowsy, we’ve tried holding him into the second cycle, we’ve tried dream feeds (though this is difficult when sometimes he wakes before dream feed). I’ve tried every method to put him into the crib, soothing him with words, physically soothing him.

Any idea what’s going on or what to do here? This has been going on for months, this hasn’t changed since 4 months.

just needed somewhere to write this down as it’s helping me stay awake.

Kiddo is 6 months and sleeps great generally. Thursday he started daycare and Sunday he had symptoms of his first cold. its almost 4 am Monday and I’m so tired. he didn’t sleep well Saturday night, had lots of naps Sunday. now tonight he just can’t stay asleep. he wakes up multiple times an hour crying. we’re currently sitting on the sofa while I hold him because he seems to do best when upright.

we’ve had a ton of success cosleeping but he just cannot handle lying flat right now.

yayyy. now just using Reddit to stay awake until I can swap out with dad. Anybody else up dealing with illness tonight?

I talked to my mum recently and she asked how my baby’s sleeping. I said good he’s waking only 2-3 times most nights but it’s normal and we’re fine cosleeping is what works best.

She then goes on about because he’s started solids he’ll sleep better now and he SHOULD be sleeping 10-4 atleast

Also continued to call him spoilt because I cosleep

It’s so annoying like times have changed stfu

Husband has been trying (now successfully yaay) to get baby to nap with him. Since she's currently bottle refusing bottles all their progress is great and happy news for us. He wanted to share his win in his parents' family group chat when he got her to sleep while I was at work, his mom proceeds to ask "if she's asleep why don't you put her on the floor?" To which my husband replied that she fell asleep while he walked her and that he wouldn't be putting her down. Next day, same thing, and my husband at this point just tells her, this is where she fell asleep, I'm not putting her on the floor, she can sleep on me if she wants and I like having her sleep like this.

Putting children on the bare floor to sleep is not common practice in our culture, and it's also coming from a lady who proudly bragged about how she would leave her children at 11 pm and not check on them again until 7 am next morning when they were newborns, who has complained (not even kidding) every single time we've been to visit about how the baby [3mo] just "poops and sleeps" when she's there and has disrupted her sleep so "she can see her eyes", "people don't sleep in the day, babies shouldn't either", "why do you let her wake up at night? If my mom were alive she would be sleeping through the night already".

Granted, if it isn't obvious, I don't like my MIL, I find her disruptive, overly negative, narcissistic, a bully and downright unpleasant. And for someone who wasn't even happy with the pregnancy and now calls the baby "my grandma's baby" and acts as if boundaries don't exist to tell us to just leave your child on the ground, just grinds my gears.

Am I being unreasonable? Is putting my baby on the bare floor good for her somehow? Or am I right in staring her down in my mind?

I’m not sure if I need advice or just to complain. I have the happiest 9 month old on the planet who never cries or whines except at night. She can’t go to sleep on her own. I used to nurse her to sleep until that stopped working now it’s a fight to rock her to sleep.

The problem is once she is asleep and in her crib she’ll wake up every 15-40 minutes consistently until I cosleep with her. So she could be up every 30 minutes until I cave and just cosleep. Once we cosleep she gets up around 12 and 3 to nurse. I don’t mind the night wakings to nurse but the waking every 15-40ish minutes until I cosleep is exhausting. I can’t get anything done after she gos to bed because she’s a ticking time bomb.

The babysitter says she puts her in a crib for naps and she just rolls over and sleeps without crying or whining so I know she’s capable but she’s never been able to do it at home.

I know this isn’t a sleep training sub but I’m about to reach a breaking point of some type of gentle training. Any suggestions or anyone dealt with a similar baby?

Baby is 8.5 months, and we’re hitting the sleep regression hard. He’s having so much more trouble falling asleep even when we’ve hit the sweet spot, but then he passes it and becomes over exhausted.

He’s just been outright resisting some naps/bedtimes. I’ve tried everything. Believe me he is tired! He’s asleep on me now after trying to put him down for an hour with a WW of 3.5 hours which is really long for him, I started to put him down around 2.5 because he was tired and aimed for him to be asleep by 2.75. What finally worked was boob/carrier/bouncing all at the same time.

I’ve done rocking/patting to sleep, nursing to sleep, nursing and rocking to sleep, singing/humming Rock a by baby which is our go to while doing all of the other things. I’m consistently using white noise. He is not bothered by light and has always been able to fall asleep regardless of lighting. We’ve done naps on the go and as long as he can nurse he typically will sleep in the carrier while nursing. He is not a car napper. Typically we carrier/bounce to sleep, or nurse to sleep, and recently started rocking to sleep when he will allow it, but we needed something else when the other two weren’t working.

He just popped two teeth and we are transitioning back and forth between three and two naps a day depending.

He is on the higher end of sleep needs getting about 13.5-14 hours total a day. Usually 11 at night and 2.5-3 during the day. First nap is usually 30 minutes - 1 hour (we’ll wake him if it hits an hour so it doesn’t steal sleep pressure from later naps and end up a cranky mess by end of day) and second is 1-2 hrs, if it’s three naps we’ll sometimes do the last nap as a 15 min bridge nap or 30 minutes tops if he needs it. But last night he skipped his last nap and we had to do an early rescue bedtime hence the waking up earlier than normal.

He has such an easy temperament and has typically gone to sleep easily so this has been really tough for all of us. He’s such a happy baby, he will sometimes get cranky or fussy when he’s tired but usually he just gets wired when he’s overtired. I’ve done face/body massage and gentle pressure to help him all settle when he gets that way.

We cosleep, and he has been waking a lot a night, sometimes falling asleep then waking shortly after to comfort nurse/pacify multiple times having trouble settling back down. I chocked up all the extra wakings to the teething and schedule changes. We used to get a 3-5 hour stretch some nights but honestly not sure because most nights I don’t look at the clock but my watch wakings are many and I haven’t had a four hour stretch since April 8th. Halp 🫠

So, I’ve pretty much given up at the moment and I am co-sleeping with my almost 7mo. She usually starts her night in her crib for maaaaybe 3 hours max before she starts fighting sleeping alone after her first feed (some nights she starts fighting earlier). So, for survival, she’s sleeping with me. It’s not what I planned, but for the sake of my sanity, it’s working.

My question is how have you transitioned from co-sleeping to sleeping in their own crib/bed? I ask this because I have a weekend away coming up in a month and a half, and I am nervous she won’t sleep at all when I’m gone if she’s not used to the crib. Any advice on how to do so? I really would like her to sleep in her own crib through the night, but I also know that we both sleep so much better together. However, just going to say it (don’t come for me) but I don’t trust my boyfriend to cosleep with her safely while I’m away.

Cosleeping has been lovely and I do really enjoy it. Not what I planned or ever thought I would be doing, but here we are 🤣 I also don’t want to end up having a toddler kicking me all night, especially when I go back to work in the fall.

My son is 6.5 months and we have co-slept since he transferred out of his bassinet at 5 months (but do part time co-sleeping prior to that).

We try to start him out in his side car crib for at least the first 2-3 hours of the night but lately I’ve had to sleep in other places with him due to some home construction we have going on.

He nurses to sleep and when he wakes in the night I nurse him back to sleep. He recently learns to sit up independently and crawl (not super well but it’s effective enough). Two teeth also broke though last week 🥲

He always falls asleep attached to me, usually on his side. But I notice more and more that he seems to sleep better when he’s not touching me.

If he’s able to get to his side, or his stomach, and not be attached to me, he wakes up a lot less and is less active overall.

Lately we wake each other up every hour at night and it’s been rough on both of us. I can tell how tired he is throughout the day from his poor sleep.

A problem is that if he goes to his side or stomach at night, he sometimes falls asleep well (ideal) or he starts doing cobra pose, or starts inchworming on his head and crawling and then wakes himself up.

Which can result in a wake window of 2 hours at 4 am.

Should I try putting him down on his side or stomach away from me so he can get used to this and we can both sleep better?

Are things just weird now because of his age and his developmental milestones?

Try the side car more to give him more space?

Just looking for some guidance so he and I can get better rest.

I know it’s been kind of debunked but yesterday I wanted to try and see if my baby 3,5 month would have her sleep impacted from having formula. Also maybe it would be fun for her with a different flavor as they can start taste some food soon. So I bought a package of premade, already diluted and put in a bottle and made a bit warm. She’s taken bottles of breastmilk before, even though she has a preference to nursing. At 18pm she’s usually really hungry so I thought that would work. But the face she made when trying!! She thought it was disgusting haha. Refused it only to nurse with good appetite straight afterwards. Anyone else experience this?

And before anyone tells me to try baby wearing, trust me, I have!! On rare occasions does he tolerate being worn and on even rarer occasions does he actually fall asleep in the carrier. I have a rocking chair and usually if he’s sleepy enough I can feed him to sleep on there but lately it’s stopped working and I don’t know what to do anymore. He doesn’t want me to be sitting at all only standing up and pacing around but my back is in so much pain at this point. I have no one else to help me. Dad’s not around and my mom has too many back problems to carry him for that long. I know some people bounce their babies to sleep on a yoga ball? I don’t have one but would maybe consider getting one although i’m not sure it would work since he hates when I sit down lol. Im not sure if it’s a growth spurt or some kind of regression because after about a months worth of paying very close attention to wake windows and making sure he’s getting enough daytime and nighttime sleep, suddenly every nap and every bedtime is a battle. I am so frustrated. I never want to leave my baby to cry alone but lately i’ve been getting so upset with struggling to put him to sleep that I’ve had to set him down multiple times for a few minutes while I just rest because my body hurts so bad. And he screams the whole time. I feel so shitty. I am completely lost with what to do at this point especially because he is only 5 months and I know he is just going to keep getting heavier and heavier.

I’m not really sure what’s going on with my six month old’s sleep, other than it kinda sucking. He wakes up anywhere from 6-12 times a night.

I want to start by saying that cosleeping hasn’t really worked out for us. I really wanted it to, but it results in no one getting quality sleep. He only comes into bed with us if he wakes at 5-6am and I’m trying to make it til 7am.

At bedtime, I transfer him into his crib (still in our bedroom) fully asleep. This works beautifully and his first stretch is anywhere from 1.5-3 hours.

Once he wakes up for the first time, he immediately falls asleep in my arms once I pick him up. I rock him for 10-15 minutes to make sure he’s in a deep sleep again before laying him back in his crib. I lay him back down, he briefly stirs to rub his eyes and head and then rolls to his side or belly. He will then start crying immediately or sleep 2-3 minutes before crying again. I pick him up again and we repeat the cycle for an hour and a half until he stays asleep once I lay him down. Last night this took about 8 attempts before it finally worked (and for him to only sleep 45 minutes before waking again lol).

I’ve tried rocking him for different lengths of time to make sure I’m putting him down during the “right” time in his sleep cycle. Putting him down at the start of the night and after any subsequent waking in the night is almost always fine. It’s just this first wake up that’s so difficult, and it’s really starting to wear on me since I’m already so sleep deprived.

Any tips? Leaving him to cry is obviously off the table, and I think having him sleep in his crib is the best option for us. I’m willing to try almost anything though at this point.

The excuse is often “they won’t remember it”.

But how many of us have these memories, these feelings that come up, these implicit tugs that tell us we were subjected to it? Do think it impacted your mental health or attachment?

Your stories and lived experiences matter ❤️

I’m currently pregnant with #2 and my first will be 21 months when baby will be born later this year. I’m starting to freak out a bit because he still wakes up multiple times a night. Currently nearly 18 months.

I am seriously terrified of having a newborn and a toddler who wake up multiple times a night and I’m worried it will mean I won’t sleep at all for months.

My sleep has already been destroyed with my first, waking up every two hours or less for the first year of his life. I exclusively breastfed and pumped my milk. Now he takes it in a bottle (also trying to wean that ugh).

I need advice on how to navigate this. Obviously I don’t want to sleep train, but we cosleep for the majority of the night. He starts off in his crib and I bring him in bed at his first wake up.

I would love to get him to sleep in his crib but I’m also not hopeful to achieve that before birth. I was thinking of converting his crib into a floor bed or something so my husband can sleep with him once the baby is born.

Any advice appreciated. From a stressed out mama 🥺

My 1 year old all of the sudden started waking at 12:30-1 am every night for the past 4 nights. He goes to bed awake in his crib and falls a sleep within 20 minutes. Sometimes he fusses and cries other times he just lays there and falls a sleep. Now he will sleep from 8-12:30 or 1 and will not settle using Ferber or resets so we have resorted to support sleeping until 8am when he’s ready for the day. Any advice? Wakes 8am nap 1 @11 nap 2@4 and bed time around 8-830.

So up untill a few weeks ago baby would fall asleep in the carrier or the stroller and sleep a super long nap. Like 40-60 minutes. Then all of a sudden she decided to go on a strike from going outside at all. Not even carrying her outside without a carrier or stroller helped. As soon as we would go out of the house she would start scream crying. This was at 8 weeks and I read some babies get overwhelmed with the outside because all their senses come in. So I tried every day but accepted she didn’t like it and didn’t push. Some of my friends said you just have to push through and let them cry for 10-15 minutes and then they’ll settle. I’m not very comfortable with that but the week after her strike she was letting us go around the block so I thought I’ll try and push it one day. But unlike my friends babies who cry a little and then settle, my LO decided to scream at the top of her lungs. I wasn’t even intentionally doing this I just went to far from home. So I kept it short. Now she will tolerate about twenty minutes outside. Sometimes a bit more sometimes less. What I’ve realized is she likes being outside untill she feels sleepy and then wants out and kind of freaks out. And in the carrier she feels sleepy usually sooner also she get upset sooner. Now for a little bit I was able to help her fall asleep outside the stroller and put her back in (gave up on the carrier for a bit) but recently at 13 weeks she fights sleeping SO hard outside. She really wants to go home to sleep. And with the weather being gorgeous I really don’t want to be spending the majority of the day inside. Like I’d like to be out for at least an hour not 20 minutes. Lately she will let me take her out of the stroller and she will tolerate walking around like that for a while to stretch my walk but she’s too heavy to do this for long. Also as soon as she sees the block of our house she stops screaming/crying cause she knows we are home. 🙃

Is this a phase? We’ve taken her to ikea and to the aquarium. Both places she fought sleep and skipped a nap because she was so entranced by everything she saw and then around the 3 hour mark started fussing for a couple minutes but with a little gentle rocking and humming passed out. In those spots she didn’t act the way she does around the neighborhood. Is there anything I can do to convince her to like the stroller/carrier more? I’ve tried multiple carriers and both bassinet and car seat for the stroller. No difference.

I genuinely think it’s because she doesn’t want to fall asleep in a carrier or a stroller but I have no idea how to avoid this since she gets sleepy in both!!