u/666pizzaguy

I can't recall when I last recognized what I saw as being myself. I don't know what I expect to see when I look in the mirror. Psychiatrist chalked it up to just being gender dysphoria and -incongruence but I don't know at this point. I started questioning if I should even continue my hormone therapy as I don't know if I deserve it anymore. Everything I do feels like it's being done on autopilot. I'm not sure who I even am or what I'm living for, and when I called the emergency hotline the other day when it got particularly bad, they didn't exactly help all that much - in fact, after telling me it was just due to being a young adult, they hung up on me. My family just keeps saying I'm insane so telling them about this would probably just lead to me being laughed at, as they always do when I express any thoughts that aren't entirely positive or don't align with their worldview. I don't know what I'm supposed to do

I haven't changed my legal gender yet, but I plan on visiting family abroad this year. Will the airport security and customs clearance stop me from being able to board the plane or enter the country as my appearance doesn't match my gender marker? I live in Norway, if that may impact something

Idk if clothes was a fitting tag but I'll take a gamble. For me shoes have helped somewhat when it comes to confidence in passing, for whatever reason. I have an odd in-between size of EUR 41 ⅓, so I struggle a bit finding shoes I like that also fit. There was one brand I used to wear, but they stopped making them in my size. Most of the sneakers I find in stores have really bright colours, and while I'm not too fond of it, I would be fine choosing them if it wasn't for my work dress code saying I need to wear dark shoes. Do you guys know of any good and durable men's shoes?

I know I'm preaching to the choir here but I can not believe that every other person I stumble across online is transgender. I see a new creator, click on the profile: he/she/they? What?

Recently someone I am reluctantly acquainted (edit: we share a class, so she's a real life person) with talked about how offended she is when "gross boys" ask her what her gender is. Now I don't usually like to call bullshit, but I'm calling bullshit. She presents strictly feminine, doesn't bind, she's said her family is extremely supportive so no restrictions there, apparently. Just pronouning for the sake of pronoun. She followed up saying "but I can't speak for our whole community," which, ya know, is true. Because she's not even trans.

It's because of characters like her that I struggle so much believing that all those online "influencers" are actually trans in any way. I'm pretty indifferent to nonbinary identities but even then there is no way so many people can be he/she/they genderfluid "transmasc" lesbian. Idk if it's just my algorithm being totally fucked, though.

I've been out for about 5-6 years now. I was always allowed to dress however I wanted and have my hair as short as I wished when I was little, so when I came out I didn't expect them to react so poorly to it. They kept asking me if I could "just be a transvestite," said it was surely just a phase... I figured they would come around eventually, and after about 3 years they did let me change my name legally (needed their signature on the papers since I was under 16.) But now it's been another few years, and their demeanor hasn't changed at all. No matter how many times I tell them I find it extremely weird that they keep saying "you'll always be my sister/daughter" they just ignore it. I don't know what to do anymore. When I asked them how they'd react if I started testosterone, they all said they thought it was a dumb idea, that they don't think I'll be happier on it, so I never told them when I did start it. I'm just so tired of it. I can pass really well in public and they'll still introduce me as their daughter. I was talking about my group in a project at school and described one of them as "a girl who is frequently absent" and my dad asked me "is that you?" I asked him if I would ever call myself a girl, and he said "rarely."

Never. The answer is never. I even told him I never do that, and he just laughed it off. Is there even any way to make them understand this isn't just something that'll pass, or am I just cursed forever because I came out during the pandemic??