u/432_2316

So today is one of those days where you wake up and are ready to take on the world. To step into the fire and feel that steady burn. I had another dream last night and you're there but not in the way I wanted. Just kind of watching over me and not speaking but revealing the truths of myself. So I went through the day and now once I said any type of negative judgements or blame shaming. Just a true appreciation for you. Not only have I been working on that. I had a chance to reflect on myself. To finally see you were so right about so many things I didn't know you had the ability to have such a profound effect on me. But all is fair in love and war. A war that I found myself stalemated and lost. But then a overwhelming sense of love came and I gave in. When you get stuck in your ways and it's not working the only choice is to change not because of someone but the fact you'd better do something before you truly collapse under the weight you carried for so long. I was tired and you had to be completely exhausted from the war. So I surrender. The white flag is raised. Pride set aside for understanding and acknowledgement. Stubbornness for accountability. Offenses became defensive. But in all reality and respect you wanted me to get better. Thank you and I love you for that. The fighting time is over. It's all done. Now I pick up the pieces and must carry on. You're the one who grew flowers in the darkest parts of me. The sunflower 🌻. The girl in California who played guitar and sings. A lot makes sense to me all of a sudden. Ty for the opportunity. Really love you babygirl. It's always been you and will always be you. Damn I love this person. She is the one who saved me. For that I have to show my gratitude by living in some truth for a change. Still love you no matter what and gonna take the surrender and humbly go fix the wounds of my warriors. The ones who kept the war going. Who knew you were a damn good General. Lol hell I haven't met another person worthy of fighting for. But you T yeah I'm going to fight until there is no more left in me. Battered and bruised from my massive ego and refusal to take any advice from you. Turning in my sabor for I must retire from the war. I fought hard and we all know I fought to my best abilities. Like Lee I must see the defeat that is encircling my regiment and humbly go fix my life. Once I find the beauty in the world again I will truly love you the way you approach your wars and good God are you one hell of a warrior. With the upmost respect and loyalty and honor I humbly take a bow. You win T and I didn't lose you showed the way to win. Love you so much.

I wake up at the end of my restless nights with this feeling of failure and unworthiness. My mind races trying to pick up pieces of where we left off. I spin in circles looking for answers or a solution to figure out the problems. When is it enough? Why can't we just say "You know we both got in each other's life because of love and understanding that's how you fix this. Plain simple not too hard to just love one another. Yeah the past has pushed us to believe this fairytale that it's going to be a disaster like most of our endeavors in love. See me and you are a lot alike. We love so passionately and never got the chance to look at each other's flaws and embrace them and accept that we would never destroy each other for the sake of love. TSA you're my sunflower the most beautiful flower in the world. Not one time have I set out to destroy you in a million years I'd still be there waiting for you. I made a promise to never leave you. I will not go back on that promise. Yes I've made mistakes. I've lied to you. I've done unspeakable things that I'm ashamed of. But not once will I ever destroy you. I need answers some type of clarity in all the times I wake up and you're gone. This time I think I know where you're at. Silent treatment is not my strength. It is destroying me. I won't fall out of love with you. I'll fight tooth and nail for you. I find all your lost items. Just found some more and returned them to you. I want so bad to see you. Distant and silence are slowly breaking me apart. Will you pick up the pieces? Will you reach out in the light and pull me out of this dark cold lonely place? Or did I destroy you? Wish you would know that I am here for you. Wish you would know I love you. Wish no one would ever have hurt you so that you built this wall that seems impossible to ever get through. Will you just please love me?

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

Dear T,

I want to just let you know that I appreciate you and your efforts are not going unnoticed. You just gave yourself the best gift for you and don't be ashamed of your past let downs and backslides. You're absolutely right on the path that you wanted and chose. Not only did it take courage and strength to get out of the toxic circumstances we had found ourselves in it took some heartache and sorrow as it's hard to leave loved ones behind and set out on a journey. So many people can get inspired by you and don't forget the dream you've been chasing. Never too late. Not as long as you are alive and I have one of the toughest days ahead of me in my life as my family lays my sweet Mom to rest. Fly High Momma We Will Always Love And Miss You And Remember You. So I may not have told you that my Mom had been to prison two times in her life. She made a conscious decision to give up a life of drug dealing and using. It saved me from being a victim of foster care. She was willing to give her life up for 9 boys and 5 of them weren't birthed by her. So beautiful was the truth that love does prevail and I will always love you TSA. Thank you for the good times and all the moments I would look at you and see this undying passion to really love someone. You've been a blessing for me and I want you to know that I am going to be okay just like you will T. Mom is going to see to that. People,Places,and Things she would always say that to me before we would hang up from much overdue video chats with her and she just wanted me to get right for once in my life but never judged me or turned me away unless she seen me not helping myself and she was strict. But T I fell in love with you besides the outer beauty it was the real and authentic way you approach every single situation as did Mom. I loved her rants just like I think yours are the cutest thing ever. By the time we meet again you're going to be in a better place like Mom. So many feels so I'm going to cut it short. Love you TSA Miss you So Much

I like the fact that we have different perspectives on things. You help expand my point of view, and I hope I do the same for you. I think the fact that we don't agree on everything (but are aligned in values and humour) is a great thing, because in these differences, we encourage one another to think and grow.

It's also wonderful because, in these moments, I get glimpses into your beautiful mind. Whenever you share anything (silly stories and anecdotes included), I get a small window into your thoughts.

You're one of the few people I've ever met who has as complex and unique an inner world as I do. I could spend forever learning you, and it still wouldn't be enough. It's in the way that you observe and process things; what you share, and what you don't; your meticulous planning interspersed with sudden impulsivity.... your mind is a source of endless fascination to me.

I'm quietly smiling thinking about you, now; your delighted, louder than usual laughter when you're unexpectedly amused by something; the way you blush and look down when bashful; when you try to play it cool around me and end up walking into something or dropping something; that beautiful, joyful, sincere smile that makes your pretty eyes crinkle almost shut; your animated voice and exaggerated expressions when you're telling a story...Even your wide-eyed, alarmed, tormented expression when you've unexpectedly run into me in those times when you've thought you've truly fucked it up with me.

Through it all, you're still my favourite person.

Time moves slower without you.