My spending is ruining my mental health
Hello there, I just want to start off by saying that this might not be the standard shopping addiction, but I would still recommend not reading if you get triggered easily.
With that out of the way.. this likely stems from my childhood. As a kid, I could never spend anything. We were a low income household and learned to spend hours to calculate and kinda min max expenses. If I don't get the absolute best deal, I'll second guess for HOURS and feel insanely guilty about spending more than 5 euros at once.
But now that's taken over my life. For 8 hours a day, I scroll through multiple apps to win giveaways for stuff worth around 1 euro just so I don't have to pay shipping. All so I can justify buying more stuff that exceeds the budget i set for myself. For some reason, I decided that "I deserve something nice" or "I can afford it now" are valid reasons to order a new package every day. Sure, they might not be over 10 euro's a piece, but still, when it adds up over a month, that's still well over what I wanted to spend on my newfound pokemon card hobby.
And the worst part isn't even the spending. It's just the obsession with the scrolling, comparing, and hours of research resulting in being mentally drained. just to end up saving what? 80 cents a week? Not to mention the absolute humiliation and judgment I feel whenever my parents realize I ordered something for the 20th time this week alone.
Anyway.. thanks for reading all of that :)