r/raisingkids

Hello, I will be 41 in August and my husband will be 49 in September. We have an almost 6 year-old who is begging for a sibling and I have a hole in my heart that just makes me feel like our family is not complete. Every time I see a mom with a baby I just get this overwhelmingly sad feeling that I should’ve had another. I feel like my siblings are one of the greatest gifts I have in life. I don’t know how to handle the fact that I just keep coming back to this feeling that I would love for him to have a sibling and for us to have another baby. I do realize that our age is “advanced,” especially my husband, and I feel Guilty that that child might not have a very long time with us or that we would be old at the prime of their life. Any thoughts welcome, thank you.

Edit to say my husband and I would both love another baby and are healthy, we’re just worried about our age when it grows up.

Hi all,
I’ve got two young kids (3 years old, just started nursery, and a 1-year-old), and I’ve been thinking a lot about how to give them the best start in terms of developing strong intelligence, curiosity, and awareness from early on.
I want them to grow up really switched on — not just academically, but in how they think, communicate, and understand the world. The challenge I’m facing is that my current social circle doesn’t really prioritise this kind of development, so I feel like I need to be more intentional about creating that environment myself.
For those of you who’ve been through this or are doing it now:
What actually makes a difference at this age?
What habits, routines, or activities helped your kids become more curious and sharp?
How important is the environment vs. what you do at home?
Any books, games, or approaches you’d recommend?
Not looking to pressure them or make things intense — just want to set a strong foundation early.
Appreciate any advice or experiences!

I love my kid, but I’ve realized I was accidentally training them to expect me to provide entertainment every 10 minutes.

If I was cooking, working, cleaning, or just sitting down, I’d hear “I’m bored” and immediately jump in with ideas.

Lately I’ve been trying something different: I give a few options, then I let them be bored for a bit.

Not in a neglectful way. Just… “you have books, Legos, paper, puzzles, toys, the backyard. I believe in you.”

Curious how do you deal with this?

Serious question.

We expect parents to:

* raise kids with minimal support
* work full-time to survive
* afford childcare that can cost as much as rent
* somehow still be present, healthy, and “balanced”

All while living far from family.

At what point do we admit this system might not be working?

Do you think modern parenting is set up to fail—or is this just the reality we have to adapt to?

Is this a normal kid thing or should I be concerned?

I have 2 kids. They are generally pretty close but i feel my son (7yo) isn't the best influence for my daughter (4yo). He's a good kid overall, but I feel he's negatively affecting my daughter's behavior, and she's getting all hyper and violent.

Today I caught them in the bathroom whispering to each other… so obviously I go check what’s up. They had filled the sink with water, put a bunch of random stuff in it (a toy car, a sock puppet and those tiny plastic animals??), and told me they were 'ki*****g their toys?!?!' on asking further he explained how when you drown things in water 'they d*e' so he wants to drown everythig and my daughter happily agreed splashing water everywhere. it seemed innocent but made me question a lot of things. Who even taught them the concept of 'ki*****g'??

I'm very conscious about their screentime and have tried my best not to expose them to violent things in any way. I know this came from my son, but he's so young himself that I don't want to blame him too.

I didn’t know whether to stop them or just… let them continue their play? Is this normal imagination stuff or do all kids do this? Should i keep my daughter away from my son, maybe till she grows up a bit?

Just earlier today, my wife noticed that she had not done her homework. She lied, saying that she had done it. She said she did it yesterday (she didn't.)

But when we point out that she didn't tell the truth she cried and argued, trying to deflect the blame.

As a parent, I'm not sure what to do. I don't care so much about the homework. I just want her to tell the truth.

I have no clue what to do. I don’t have a problem with technology but it’s so bad my son if we are at a friends house one thing will happen with his friend (for example he wanted a turn with the basketball) and he’ll cry saying “I want to go home and play x”

I don’t want him living this unhealthy lifestyle. He will lie constantly and say “my leg hurts, my neck hurts, my back hurts” so he can sit and play video games. (The game is wobbly life he likes)

I just don’t know what to do. I don’t see anything wrong with gaming but it’s at the point it’s robbing enjoyment from other things in his life. He doesn’t want to go to the zoo because he wants to play his game.

I want to take it away, but he hasn’t done anything inherently wrong, but as a parent I can tell it’s robbing experiences from him.

What would you do? I used to just say no games until it’s dark out and then in the summer he would only be on it a half hour hehe.

But on the other hand, he will go on YouTube and just watch kids playing those games. My little one likes YouTube to watch blippi so I don’t want to delete it, but I don’t know what to do.

Plz help lol.

So we’re heading out for a short holiday soon, and instead of excitement… I’ve got an 11-year-old who’s mostly sulking because he feels like he’s going to miss out on whatever his friends are doing back home.

It really hit me in two ways. One, the FOMO at this age is very real. And two, I think a big part of it is just that he knows he won’t be able to “be part of things” while he’s away.

He doesn’t have social media (which we’re sticking to for now), and while some of his friends do game together, I don’t want that to be the only way he connects either.

So now I’m wondering… what are other ways kids this age actually spend time together online that still feel social? Not just texting, not just being on the same game, but something that feels like they’re doing something together.

Are your kids doing anything like this? Or is it mostly gaming/social media at this age?

Would love ideas because right now it feels like we’ve limited the usual options…

We do a lot of driving on weekends. Kids used to be fine with just music but the 10yo has outgrown that. We tried a podcast once but it didn't hold both kids. Open to anything - audiobooks, games, whatever works for the 9-11 age range.

Hi everyone. So my daughter just turned 3 and up until a few weeks ago she was honestly such an easy kid when it came to sleep and just being independent in general. She'd go to bed on her own, sleep through the night, no issues. I felt really lucky honestly.

Then she went to my sister's house for a weekend with her older cousin, came back, and it's like a completely different child. Every single night I have to lay down with her until she falls completely asleep. If I try to sneak out too early she wakes up and we start all over. And if she wakes up at 2am or 3am she doesn't just cry a little, she panics. Like full on frantic, running to our room, totally scared. I have to walk her back and sit with her again until she's out.

During the day it's the same thing. Yesterday she couldn't find me in the living room for maybe 30 seconds and she lost it. I was literally right around the corner. She follows me from room to room now and if I get up from the table before she's done eating she will just abandon her food and follow me rather than stay and finish. It's like she needs to physically see me at all times.

Nothing scary happened at my sister's as far as anyone knows. Everyone said the weekend was fine and she had fun. I have no idea what triggered this.

Is this a normal developmental thing that just kind of happens sometimes? Has anyone else gone through this out of nowhere? And if so how long did it last and what actually helped? I feel so bad for her because she seems genuinely scared and I don't want to make it worse but I also can't sit in her room for an hour every night forever. Any advice would mean a lot right now.

My wife and I welcomed our baby boy six weeks ago, and since then I’ve become increasingly concerned about my 13-year-old stepson’s behavior to the point where I genuinely fear for my son’s safety.

To give some background, my stepson has always had a good life here. My wife has always made sure he has everything he needs, and for the most part he gets what he wants. His biological father lives in another state, but they stay in contact regularly and he spends some summers with him. Between his mom and me, he gets a lot of attention and support, and since the baby was born we’ve made an even greater effort to include him so he doesn’t feel pushed aside or neglected.

Before the baby arrived, he had already started showing typical teenage behavior. Not listening, lying, talking back. But over time it has escalated well beyond that. A couple of years ago he was caught bullying and hitting a younger girl at a playground. Since then, there have been multiple incidents involving bullying other kids. He has been suspended twice for fighting and bullying, and last year he was suspended for choking another student.

Yesterday things became even more alarming. My wife had to pick him up from school after a teacher discovered cuts on his arm that he admitted were self-inflicted with a blade. He also told the teacher that if we still had guns in the house, he would shoot himself. Looking back, it explains why he had been wearing a hoodie constantly for the past couple of weeks despite the warm weather. When we asked about it, he brushed it off and said he just liked wearing it.

He also made a comment yesterday that disturbed me. My wife and I were talking about the principal who subdued a school shooter recently and how brave that was. My stepson commented that the shooter was “stupid” and implied he could have done it better, though he stopped short of directly saying that.

At this point, I honestly don’t trust him anymore, and I haven’t for a while. If he’s willing to hurt himself and has a history of hurting other people, I can’t ignore the possibility that he could also hurt the baby. I’ve always tried to empathize with him because of the situation with his father, but it’s becoming harder as his behavior continues to escalate. At some point, accountability has to exist too. Not having his biological dad around may explain some emotional struggles, but it cannot excuse dangerous behavior.

What also worries me is that today he’s acting as if none of this even happened yesterday. He claims he's not jealous of the baby but I know that isn't true.

I honestly don’t know what the right answer is anymore. There’s no easy or “nice” way to handle something like this. I own a house in a neighboring town, and part of me wants to take the baby there temporarily until he gets the help he clearly needs, but I know that isn’t realistic right now. I do feel strongly that I need to talk to my wife about not allowing him to be alone with the baby under any circumstances. I’m just unsure how she’s going to react, or whether I should wait a few days before bringing it up. He sees a psychiatrist every couple months for his concerta prescription but I think he needs to see a therapist on a weekly basis. Last week she bought him a skateboard and just today she bought him a switch 2. Basically rewarding behavior at this point.

I keep seeing parents say they've gone Youtube-free with their kids and that it was the best decision they made but nobody really talks about the messy middle part. Like what do the first few weeks actually look like? How long before they stop asking for it? And what ends up filling that gap - do they just shift to something else that's screen-based or does anything different take its place? 

My 7 year old nephew climbed up on a shed and slid off the roof on his belly and hit his head. He said his brain hurt, but mostly his back and that he felt like vomiting. After an hour he said he was almost normal except for his back and he's been very cold since the accident. My sister is waiting until morning to take him to the hospital. I am not relying on Reddit at all, and there is not much I can do personally, but I don't know if this is safe, in light of talk and die syndrome.

It didn’t happen all at once. At first, it was just something we used to keep him busy while we got things done. It made life easier, so we didn’t think much of it.

But now it’s different.

Every day feels like a struggle just to get him to put it down. We’ll say it’s time to stop, and he acts like we’re taking something away from him that he can’t live without. Sometimes he ignores us completely. Other times it turns into arguing, and the mood in the house just drops.

What’s harder to accept is how much we’ve lost without realizing it. We used to talk more. We used to do things together without distractions. Now, even when we’re all in the same room, it doesn’t feel like we’re actually together. He’s there physically, but mentally he’s somewhere else.

We also notice he doesn’t get excited about the same things anymore. Going outside, family time, even small conversations… they all seem less interesting to him compared to the screen. And when we try to bring him back to real life, it feels like we’re competing with something we can’t beat.

We’re not blaming him. It’s on us too. We made it easy for this to happen because it kept things quiet and simple in the moment. But now we’re seeing the cost of that.

In the end, it’s not just about screen time. It’s about losing connection with our own child while we’re sitting right next to him. Or you could just use the ScreenEarn app to do all this easily but you could do it manually too even though I dont recommend it…

And that’s what we’re trying to fix before it goes any further.

Update: this post was really viral last time, so I wanted to do this again, and now he's a teen, and he's been spending way more time with us :) And here are some very good tips y'all told me before:

Use chore-based screen time where your child earns it. This has been working perfectly for my teen and younger child. Or you could just use the ScreenEarn app to do all this easily but you could do it manually too even though I dont recommend it…

Encourage them to explore hobbies and shared activities. For example, my kids and I go fishing every week.

Screen time is inevitable. How else do you expect your child to have a social life?

My son is 20 months. We have bins full of toys, wooden things, stacking things, shape sorters. Most of it just sits there.

Today he found a silicone spatula I dropped on the kitchen floor and spent forever with it. Tapping it on the tile, dragging it under the cabinet door, putting it in a pot and taking it out again. At one point just rubbing the flat part slowly with both hands like he was figuring out what it was made of.

I was sitting there eating leftover pasta thinking we stress so much about finding the right toys when half the stuff already in the house does the same job. Probably better sometimes.

Seeking advice from people who have had this experience with their baby.

baby has had this issue since the day he was born. He cried all day for 3 months. The first 2 months he cried, taking a few 30 minute naps in the morning, a 30-minute nap in the afternoon and the rest of time he was crying, he continued crying for the next 3 months but less. We are at 7 months, solid introduced at 6 months. I know people will say it is the solids but it is not, because he never stopped before solids. This is excessive crying, excessive fuzziness. I spent my day basically trying to distract him, at times it works but still cries in my arms. He wakes up every 2-3 hours every night. His sleep is disturbed during during the day for this reason He takes biogaia drops. im holding as i type and thats how the day goes by. im holding on extremely sleep deprived and extremely exhausted. I NEED HELP.

My

So it came up while taking about driving that at red lights, once fully stopped, my kids (19f, 14m, 11m) and I (39m) play hit. No where that could be dangerous or that hurts and nothing that could cause an accident. Typically light little smacks on an arm or leg. All hitting or such stops immediately as soon as the car has to go into motion.

We don't do it with my wife in the car since she generally does not care for any shinnigans. At no point have I ever told anyone to keep it a secret as honestly...I don't see an issue with it.

For some reason when told about this game my wife got mad and rather than going the issue with safety (ok, yes, maybe there are admittedly potential safety risks), she said it was weird that I had a secret game with the kids where we hit in the car.

My genuine questions is, am I missing something and is this actually weird in some way I didn't notice?

My niece is 3 weeks 2 days old and starting a few days ago she’s been incredibly fussy. We’re at the pediatric ER with her right now because today she started crying and wouldn’t stop for hours, it got to the point she was barely breathing she was screaming so hard. It’s hard to know for sure but everything (including timing) is pointing to colic. I’ve done a lot of reading and I know colic will eventually resolve on its own but for the sake of my sister, brother in law, and myself, who are all living together and taking care of her (I moved here to help them with the baby), please let me know your best tips for colic. Best bottles, best nipples, soothing techniques that worked for your baby, anything. I’ve been reading a ton and I have a few nurse friends but honestly I trust actual parents more than anything else. Please help! We will all lose our minds if it’s like this for the next 3 months, none of us can bear to watch her in pain/uncomfortable like that 😭

Graduation is in 4 days and I have turned into chopped liver. The location has been turned off, complete disregard of communication, and starting to push the boundary of coming home late.

Other than resetting the new boundaries again ...I need to know - is this normal ?

I am 38 years old mom, he is an only child, and yep I know.... he has the syndrome... being spoiled with things

I am starting to get really angry and want to take everything away... but thats just my emotional reaction.

Any good advice?

EDITED