u/eteach6974

Our baby boy is 7 weeks old. I work Mon-Fri and once my wife returns back to work she will be working Fri-Sun so we would need someone to look after our son on Fridays. I am having a hard time with the idea of having someone looking after my son who isn't at least family. I once had to find someone on Rover to look after my dog for a weekend and I HATED it. It was the only and last time I allowed it.

My wife asked if I could get Fridays off so we wouldnt need one and im considering it even though money is already tight as it is.

I've had many people claim this to me. The moment their child was born they instantly loved them more than anything else. Nothing else mattered but that child. That wasnt the case for me.

My wife and I welcomed our son into the world 2 months ago. I love him more and more each day I've gotten to know him. For me it wasn't a love at first sight experience though.

For me I have to get to know someone before I can truly love them. This is the case for everyone in my life including family. I told my wife on our first date I did not use the "love" word unless I mean it. Around 6months in she told me she loved me. I was honest and told her I wasnt there yet but I was happy the way things were going. Of course I did finally fall for her once I felt I really knew her.

Was this the case for anyone else with their baby?

My wife and I welcomed our baby boy six weeks ago, and since then I’ve become increasingly concerned about my 13-year-old stepson’s behavior to the point where I genuinely fear for my son’s safety.

To give some background, my stepson has always had a good life here. My wife has always made sure he has everything he needs, and for the most part he gets what he wants. His biological father lives in another state, but they stay in contact regularly and he spends some summers with him. Between his mom and me, he gets a lot of attention and support, and since the baby was born we’ve made an even greater effort to include him so he doesn’t feel pushed aside or neglected.

Before the baby arrived, he had already started showing typical teenage behavior. Not listening, lying, talking back. But over time it has escalated well beyond that. A couple of years ago he was caught bullying and hitting a younger girl at a playground. Since then, there have been multiple incidents involving bullying other kids. He has been suspended twice for fighting and bullying, and last year he was suspended for choking another student.

Yesterday things became even more alarming. My wife had to pick him up from school after a teacher discovered cuts on his arm that he admitted were self-inflicted with a blade. He also told the teacher that if we still had guns in the house, he would shoot himself. Looking back, it explains why he had been wearing a hoodie constantly for the past couple of weeks despite the warm weather. When we asked about it, he brushed it off and said he just liked wearing it.

He also made a comment yesterday that disturbed me. My wife and I were talking about the principal who subdued a school shooter recently and how brave that was. My stepson commented that the shooter was “stupid” and implied he could have done it better, though he stopped short of directly saying that.

At this point, I honestly don’t trust him anymore, and I haven’t for a while. If he’s willing to hurt himself and has a history of hurting other people, I can’t ignore the possibility that he could also hurt the baby. I’ve always tried to empathize with him because of the situation with his father, but it’s becoming harder as his behavior continues to escalate. At some point, accountability has to exist too. Not having his biological dad around may explain some emotional struggles, but it cannot excuse dangerous behavior.

What also worries me is that today he’s acting as if none of this even happened yesterday. He claims he's not jealous of the baby but I know that isn't true.

I honestly don’t know what the right answer is anymore. There’s no easy or “nice” way to handle something like this. I own a house in a neighboring town, and part of me wants to take the baby there temporarily until he gets the help he clearly needs, but I know that isn’t realistic right now. I do feel strongly that I need to talk to my wife about not allowing him to be alone with the baby under any circumstances. I’m just unsure how she’s going to react, or whether I should wait a few days before bringing it up. He sees a psychiatrist every couple months for his concerta prescription but I think he needs to see a therapist on a weekly basis. Last week she bought him a skateboard and just today she bought him a switch 2. Basically rewarding behavior at this point.

My son is 6wks old and my first. I find it strange that when im feeding or holding him he is looking away the majority of the time instead of looking at me. He is always looking to the side at nothing.

I'll try to put my face in the direction he is looking sometimes and he'll look in the opposite direction as if he's trying to not look at me lol. He does look at me sometimes but his focus the majority of the time is everything but me lol. Is this normal?