r/latebloomerlesbians

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Oh my God...my heart is still beating fast, and I still have this goofy smile on my face. A few of you lovely ladies were very sweet and asked for an update on my date, and let me just say it was AMAZING!

We met at this lovely Italian place that she recommended, and boy did I feel underdressed when I first saw her. She looked so elegant and classy in her black dress. We gave each other a hug and a peck on the check, and she put me right at ease. She was so sweet and understanding. It was definitely a new experience seeing a woman at the other end of the table, but it honestly felt like I was talking to an old friend. I felt way more comfortable than on previous dates with men. We talked about everything from work, past relationships, music, and more, and the time just flew by.

After dinner, we stayed and had a few drinks before we decided to call it a night as we both have work in the morning. We shared a cab, which dropped me off first. She walked me to my door, and we both leaned in and KISSED... my first kiss with a woman, it felt amazing, to say the least!! I'm not sure if I was any good, but I loved it. I'm definitely looking forward to our next date.

Thank you all for the love, support, and advice you gave me. I even kept checking my Reddit whenever she went to the ladies' room, lol. You all put me at ease and gave me the confidence I needed.

Hi all, I’m a late bloomer in many elements of my life, and have recently learned that I am autistic. I find it hard to navigate the dating world, not only as a late bloomer but also wishing I had a rule book for dating. I’ve been seeing someone for about a month, and for the first time I actually feel attraction, want to be around her, and want to get to know her. When I dated men, I didn’t actually care for any of that, I just went through the motions because I thought it’s what I was supposed to do.

So now that I actually have feelings, I have a few questions that may sound dumb but I’m hoping people can help me out with. For context I live about an hour away from the woman I’m seeing and we both are very busy people.

- how often would you expect to see someone?

- how often would you expect to message someone if it’s only been a few weeks? Can those expectations change/increase once the relationship is defined further down the road?

- how do you know they’re “the one”? We met off an app and for some reason that makes it feel fake in my mind and I can’t seem to get over it. We also connect on many levels so it seems surreal I guess.

- how do you continue to progress the relationship without rushing things? When I dated men it was more a game of me trying to slow things down when they wanted it to go very quickly, whereas now I’m enjoying the pace but maybe it’s too slow to seem serious? I’m not sure.

- what do you do in between dates when you’d rather be with them, but can’t, yet don’t want to spiral and talk yourself out of the whole thing?

- how do you navigate intimacy when you’re both neurodivergent?

Anyway thank you to anyone who takes the time to read and answer. I really wish there was a how to guide for all of this!

I've only had 2 girlfriends ever (came out late). My first was bi, we were together for many years. When one/both of us were on our period we wouldn't do oral but would touch like usual. I know some people will do oral then, just not for me personally and she felt the same.

My second (lesbian) was extremely short lived and tbh she's a very odd person overall but that's a long story. One time I was on my period and she went and put on a blue surgical glove, and then touched me. I didn't know what to say so didn't say no. Afterwards I joked about it and she acted like it was normal. I talked about it with ex #1 (like true lesbians we are still close friends) and she was blown away and baffled. Said she has never ever heard of that and it's wild. I stayed FWB for a little bit with ex #2 but cancelled on hanging out because I had my period. She asked for details and I told her that I felt the glove was weird as hell and didn't want to do that again! When she was on her period I touched her like usual. I think I would have felt differently if we had a discussion about it or she asked me first instead of just doing it. She told me that it's a common lesbian thing and that I don't know about it because I haven't been with enough lesbians.

Please help me out here: wearing a glove because your girl is on her period...is this actually common practice?

(sorry couldn't resist the click-bait title)

Do you have paintings of nude women on your walls? Do you have bathmats with boobs on them? A candle in the shape of a female torso?

If so, is this something you started after coming out, or did you have this aesthetic even when your were closeted? If not, is this something that is appealing to you, or do you prefer your naked women in-person only?

Just curious how much of a *sign* this is and thought it would be fun to survey the group!

Growing up, I never knew I liked girls. I always thought lesbians found men disgusting and unattractive. I used to think to myself, “There’s no way I can be gay because I don’t find men unattractive or disgusting.” I always thought men were nice to look at, and certain traits they had were attractive to me. But every man I’ve ever met felt mediocre to me. I always thought girls were exaggerating how they felt about men because I had never once in my life felt the way my friends felt about the guys they liked.

I always had feminine friends and never felt like I liked them until I discovered masc lesbians at 21. That’s when I realized I’m definitely gay 😂 Women who have masculine traits and dress masculinely are just sooo attractive to me.

Has anyone else had a similar experience?

It’s late at night and I had nothing to do, so my mind wandered into random thoughts.

Everyone knows lesbian bars are pretty rare compared to those catering to gay men. I remember reading about why that is a while back—something about numbers, but also differences in social habits. From what I recall, men are generally more inclined toward bar culture, while women often prefer spaces like cafés or more relaxed hangouts (obviously not true for everyone).

So here’s my random idea: instead of focusing on more lesbian bars, why not more lesbian cafés? They already exist in some places, but I feel like they could actually be more appealing and successful. You could even add creative themes and make them unique spaces.

I don’t really have any business background, and I’m focused on a completely different career path—but it was just a thought that popped into my head.

Also, fun fact: while typing the title, autocorrect tried to turn “lesbian cafés” into “lesbian cages.” Glad I noticed in time 😅

I have always found this group supportive but i have just had to delete a post due to rude comments. To be honest they sound like they are comments from men. Has there been a trend recently? This has been a safe space for me but maybe it is not any longer.