ASD and dating
Hi all, I’m a late bloomer in many elements of my life, and have recently learned that I am autistic. I find it hard to navigate the dating world, not only as a late bloomer but also wishing I had a rule book for dating. I’ve been seeing someone for about a month, and for the first time I actually feel attraction, want to be around her, and want to get to know her. When I dated men, I didn’t actually care for any of that, I just went through the motions because I thought it’s what I was supposed to do.
So now that I actually have feelings, I have a few questions that may sound dumb but I’m hoping people can help me out with. For context I live about an hour away from the woman I’m seeing and we both are very busy people.
- how often would you expect to see someone?
- how often would you expect to message someone if it’s only been a few weeks? Can those expectations change/increase once the relationship is defined further down the road?
- how do you know they’re “the one”? We met off an app and for some reason that makes it feel fake in my mind and I can’t seem to get over it. We also connect on many levels so it seems surreal I guess.
- how do you continue to progress the relationship without rushing things? When I dated men it was more a game of me trying to slow things down when they wanted it to go very quickly, whereas now I’m enjoying the pace but maybe it’s too slow to seem serious? I’m not sure.
- what do you do in between dates when you’d rather be with them, but can’t, yet don’t want to spiral and talk yourself out of the whole thing?
- how do you navigate intimacy when you’re both neurodivergent?
Anyway thank you to anyone who takes the time to read and answer. I really wish there was a how to guide for all of this!