r/irishmammiesanddaddys

11.5 month old baby girl, healthy, active, social, crawling/pulling to stand/climbing, currently teething. Sleep has become extremely difficult over the last few weeks and we are completely exhausted and looking for advice.

History:

- She used to be able to fall asleep independently at times throughout infancy.

- Day naps are usually much easier than bedtime.

- Recently bedtime became a 2–3 hour battle every night.

- Main issue is once placed in the cot she immediately:

- rolls

- crawls

- pulls to stand

- hangs off the cot

- treats the cot like a play gym

- If we try to soothe in the cot she gets more stimulated/wired.

- If we repeatedly lie her back down it becomes a game.

- If we leave the room she cries/escalates.

- We are NOT willing to do cry-it-out.

What we’ve tried:

- Putting down awake

- “Drowsy but awake”

- Sitting beside cot singing

- Patting/shushing in cot

- Letting her roll around and settle herself

- Repeatedly lying her back down

- Rocking/walking/singing until sleepy

- Short consistent bedtime routine (bath, bottle, books)

- Earlier bedtime

- Adjusting naps

- Capping naps

- Leaving room

Current schedule:

- Wake: usually 6–6:30am (we stopped resettling after early morning wakes because it pushed naps too late)

- Nap 1: around 9:30am

- Nap 2: early afternoon

- We were previously letting first nap go 2 hours but now cap it around 1h15–1h30

- Second nap usually capped around 45 mins–1 hour

- Wake windows generally around 3–4 hours

Current situation:

- She often seems exhausted (eyes closing, rubbing eyes) but still physically fights sleep.

- She now often resists rocking/holding too.

- Sometimes she will fall asleep in 15 mins, other times naps/bedtime take 40 mins–3 hours.

- We are spending huge amounts of time bent over the cot singing/shushing and our backs are wrecked.

- She has also started waking more frequently at night.

- Early evening “false starts” happen sometimes (waking shortly after bedtime).

Important context:

- She is very active developmentally right now (climbing/standing constantly).

- She is teething (top teeth recently erupting).

- Feeding is a bit picky at the moment too.

- She is otherwise healthy, happy, attached, playful and developing well.

Main questions:

1. Is this level of sleep resistance normal at 11–12 months?

2. Does this sound overtired, undertired, separation anxiety, developmental, schedule-related, or something else?

3. Should we persist with cot settling or fully assist to sleep for now?

4. Has anyone else had a baby who physically could not switch off despite being exhausted?

5. Any realistic advice that does not involve cry-it-out?

My husband is 30 in January and I would love to book a few nights away just the two of us before calving season starts as his gift. He LOVES going to Tenerife in January anyway so I think it makes sense that that’s where we go.
At that time we will have a 3.5 year old and 5 month old. Both sets of grandparents are heavily involved and wouldn’t mind taking one child each for those few nights.
I wouldn’t bring the children with us just because of the length of the flight, we always go away for a week in the summer to Spain so they wouldn’t be feeling left out!
Am I mad for even contemplating it? It would be for 3/4 nights maximum. Has anyone done something similar at similar ages?

My 9 week old baby has been waking every 2 or 3 hours since the beginning. There’s been periods where it’s been every hour. The past 4 nights baby has been up every hour at least all night long and when she’s asleep she is crying or grunting in her sleep so I’m basically just not sleeping at all. Google says many babies sleep for 5-8 hour stretches by this age but mine has not even once done that. I struggled with mental health all my life and to be this sleep deprived for this long is actually destroying me. Im a single parent (dad is not in the picture at all and never will be). I’m thinking terrible thoughts all the time like this was a mistake, what have I done, my life is ruined kind of thoughts. I’d feel very guilty not giving her a sibling but also the thought of having to do this again makes me even more suicidal than I already feel. No I don’t have family or friends who can help much. Everyone is dead, far away, working full time or have too many kids and responsibilities of their own. I wouldn’t trust a stranger with my newborn baby so not comfortable hiring help. Just looking for hope that this might improve soon? Or ways to improve it? She does sleep for 2.5 hours during the day sometimes. Often sleeps for 2 hours during the day but night time is hell.

I have a nearly 4 year old, I am toying with the idea of getting him a yoto player for his birthday, but I keep flip flopping.

I'd be interested in hearing other parents views and experiences, good and bad. What are the pros and cons you have experienced?

For context, I'm working for a pretty toxic American-based tech company, and while the pay is great, every other aspect is really not working for my family. I know this, but to be honest I'm just hanging on to get to the next mat leave and then I'll be gone.

My (33F) job has asked me to travel to LA next week to get together with some new people who joined my team and the new executive lead. It would be 4.5 days total gone, with just 2.5 days in the office in LA.

My baby is turning 1 this Saturday and I am just heartbroken at the thought of leaving him. I've been with him every day since he was born (he doesn't go to crèche and I see him during the day while working). I get teary eyed every time I think about it and I just feel sick at the thought.

Has anyone else had to leave their 1 year old for that amount of time? Any tips for me and for him to get through it?

My baby was referred to opthalmology for one eye slightly turning in at times. It wasn't my usual GP and I got a bit bamboozled when he mentioned going public or private. It's actually the same consultant here for both, and the GP seemed to think we wouldn't be waiting too long so I agreed to a public referral. When I looked into it, the waiting list is 18 months which I'm not willing to wait. The practice sent in a private referral when I rang back, and appointment will be in a few weeks.

However a friend told me to keep in the public system too because if my child ends up needing glasses, they'd be covered if public, as well as a block of appointments that her child needed (maybe mine won't need either). I was going to ask the doctor about it all when we go, but today I got a letter from the HSE asking if we still want to remain on their waiting list, and the date theh need to know by is just before the private appointment.

Does anyone have experience with this? I'm grateful we can afford private health insurance but it doesn't cover all that much & we're not flush with cash. I'm sure glasses could get expensive long term.

Does sleep training with a sleep coach actually work? My friend did it and it worked for the duration of the 2 weeks sleep training but as soon as a sickness or holiday happened and routine changed ect sleep went back to how it used to be? Has anyone done sleep training with a sleep coach and it's worked long term?

Returning to work part time query

Just looking for experiences/advice from anyone who’s been through something similar returning from maternity leave .

I’m due back to work next month and requested a four-day week, with one day per week taken as parental leave due to childcare arrangements. We have childcare for four days only.

I submitted a formal written request and my manager has verbally come back to say it’s been declined after discussions internally. They did suggest I could instead use one day of annual leave per week.

What I’m finding confusing is that other colleagues in the company have been facilitated with part-time hours/flexible arrangements, including taking one day per week in this way.

I’m trying to understand:

- has anyone else had a request like this refused?

- were you able to take parental leave in this way?

- and generally how flexible were employers when returning from maternity leave?

Just genuinely trying to understand what’s normal and what options people found worked for them.

Thanks 🙂

My 2 year old is very much "I wanna walk" everywhere now, not always feasible. Our actual buggy is big but folds down small enough with no hassle but we're looking for something basic/not bulky and cheap for just bringing to the park or going on a bus for a quick journey.

Once it's relatively comfortable for her, she does not sleep in a pram so maximum comfort is not what we'd worry about. Anyone any recommendations?

Hey guys,

Sorry for the lovely question! My 8 month old has been having really dark green almost black 💩 the last 2 days. She has suffered with constipation since she was 9 weeks, she had really bad silent reflux and was on Losec for a few months. We started weaning at 6 months and was able to take her off the Losec then but still the issues with constipation. It was so bad one day she was roaring crying trying to push it out and was bleeding, took her to doc who examined her and said it was a fissure from trying to go and to increase the amount of lactulose we give her.

She is still breastfed, sometimes I use formula when making her porridge (the milupa one) and she has normal porridge or weetabix with dairy milk in the mornings with me. Dinner wise she generally has what we’re having I just whizz it up, we’re not a massive veg family -my son and husband hate veg. I love veg but i have a stoma so only certain veg I can eat now.

Is this normal, the colour? Trying not to spiral, as I have a history of doing, and we’re in with the doctor for my son in the morning anyway so will ask him too when we’re there!

Just looking for some reassurance really 🤣

Just some advice/reminder to anyone particularly if travelling to Center Parcs for holidays: Read up on what ticks look like, bring tweezers, antiseptic wipes and repellent, long sleeves and pants, and check your kids every day.

We are just back from a trip with another family. Both of us have infants under 6mths (so not playing in the forest or long grass) and both of them got ticks on their heads, most likely dropping into the buggy from leaves or passed from other soft clothes.

It’s obviously not unique to Center parcs, ticks are not uncommon in forests and grass, but visitors might not be aware to be checking their kids and what to look for, and Center Parcs is a very popular destination and like anywhere else here there’s no signage about ticks. The onsite shop doesn’t carry repellent or antiseptic wipes but we did get a tweezers there

It's my toddlers birthday and her first one in creche. The creche have said that we can bring in a cake but it has to be labeled nut free and also can't have eggs! It also can't be homemade unfortunately

I've found a nut free cake in tesco but it has egg. Is there anywhere that sells a cake that's labeled nut free and also has no eggs? Or is it a lost cause?