r/exchangestudents

After the first day of being here my host family hasn’t planned or attempted any outings together at all. I’ve been here for over a month now and while they are doing the prepared meals and laundry and providing housing like is required it seems kind of like I was disillusioned into what a typical host family experience is like. We have not left the house together besides the first day to have a brief tour of the nearby area and check out the schools which I think was also a requirement. It kinda makes me feel bummed out.

Edit: they also recently suggested that I should maybe change families to be more comfortable.

Hey everyone, I’m 26F, single, no kids, and live alone with my two cats in rural Pennsylvania. I’m an 8th grade science teacher and honestly thought hosting sounded like such a cool experience. I like hiking, camping, concerts, museums, coffee shops, traveling, thrifting, weekend trips, outdoorsy stuff, etc. I’m pretty laid back and close with my family/friends.

But now that I’m actually looking at student profiles and doing the application, I keep overthinking my living situation.

I live in a 2 bedroom apartment, not a house. It’s honestly a decent apartment — one floor, pretty spacious living room/kitchen, safe area, student would have her own bedroom, etc. But the bedroom itself is kinda small compared to a suburban house, and the bathroom is older/outdated. It’s cozy but definitely not luxurious.

I think I’ve gotten in my head because online it seems like every host family has this giant beautiful house, multiple kids, huge kitchen, finished basement, pool, whatever 😭 meanwhile I’m just over here in my apartment in rural PA with cats.

Part of me feels like I could genuinely provide a good experience because I’d actually include them in things and make them feel welcome. But another part of me worries they’d secretly be disappointed and wish they got placed somewhere “better.”

Has anyone hosted as a single person/in an apartment/smaller home? Or been an exchange student and not cared about that stuff as much as I think people do?

My daughter (U.S.) is considering being an exchange student for a year of high school in Ecuador or Uruguay, but the school year in those countries generally doesn't line up with the U.S. school year. So she would start school in the middle of their year, finish a grade, and either move up and do half a year of the next grade, or go back and repeat the first half of the classes she just finished. The opportunities in these countries are very appealing to her, but she is thinking the non-aligned school years may be a dealbreaker. Is there anyone who has been (or currently is) an exchange student in this situation? How did it work out for you?

I think I am thinking too deeply but I truly want this student to feel at home.
We are hosting a student for 26/27 school year and reading through the rules the agency has for them to me is so strict... Most of them are rules I will not make my child have when they are older but also some that I am questioning anyway.

• They are not allowed to have their door shut unless they are changing?
  • I have a toddler, who loves to talk, if they can't shut their door, they will not be able to get away from the toddler and I know I need a break, so why wouldn't they?
• They cannot do schoolwork in their room; it needs to be a shared space...
  • this leads me again to me having a toddler, if they are in a shared space and not allowed to do it in their bedroom, they are going to be bothered and not be able to focus.
  • I was going to get a little desk for the room so they could set up their stuff and have a set space for this.
• There also needs to be a limit on their internet usage and cannot have their phone in their bedroom at night.
  • With them being teenagers and their parents allow them to use their phone at night, why can't they?
  • I personally use my phone as an alarm clock, I assume they will as well..
• No food or drink in the bedrooms?
  • I am going to be honest; I love a late-night bowl of cereal in bed.
  • If they are responsible and tidy up after themselves, why can't they?
• They must pay for their own snacks and toiletries... and should not be snacking anytime, there needs to be a limit
  • I will never be one of these people and if you are, that is fine, not how I will be. I am a snacker and my kid is a snacker. We eat meals but sometimes you need a little snack and I don't care when..
  • When we are grocery shopping, I will not require her to have a separate transaction, I feel like this is silly, I offered to host, they are my kid as well, little things like that do not need to be purchased by them..
  • I do know that I will have them pay for their school lunches if they eat at school, if they want to bring their lunch, it will just be added to our grocery list and purchased weekly..
• They should only talk to their parents once a week, twice max?...
  • This one is absolutely mind blowing... As a parent, no one can tell me that my child cannot talk to me as they want
• They need a set of chores every day and to not let jet lag be an excuse why they do not do them.
  • 1... After a day of traveling I am beat, I want a day to relax and I am not going to be doing any chores myself, as the adult.
  • 2.... I don't do chores daily myself either.. I work full time, have a toddler, and my husband travels, if I don't do the dishes for one day.. it is not the end of the world. We are a very relaxed household. We aren't dirty people, but toys and clutter are not the end of the world as long as things are not actually dirty.
• They aren't allowed to drive or get their license.
  • Does the program know if they do? Or is this like a thing where they can't because they are on a visa?

I have so many questions, but I am just kind of shook up about all of the rules, we of course will have ground rules, but I feel like a lot of these are just too much.. Any advice on what you did/didn't do?

TIA!

Hi guys! I was wondering about the whole process or just a glimplse of applying to multiple international universities with scholarships, I've researched alot of countries and uni that offer intl scholarships, yet I'm still confused on the process of applying for multiple unis all at the same time.
I want to try pursuing college abroad, either in the States or in europe where I could get scholarships

Q.1 Do you have to draft different essays for each unis, and scholarship grant?

Q.2 Is it possible to apply to multiple unis that are on different countries, each country having atleast 3+ unis WITH SCHOLARSHIPS, or is that too much essay, exams, etc?

Q.3 In applying for admission for intl students, is it like in the ph where you have to do entrance exams? or is it— if not all, interview & merit based?

Q.4 Are most scholarships for intl students merit based? if it is, is that how people get multiple scholarships grants from different unis?

I want to work out all the odds, therefore I plan to apply to multiple countries and unis, with a scholarship ofc. I dream to study anywhere but here, Ik it won't be easy, but I thought that suffering abroad in a safe country is better than suffering here in the ph, I really hope anybody with experience, or even with the slightest bit of knowledge could reply🙏

Hi! We are looking into hosting a second exchange student on top of the one we already agreed to host!

My husband is a little hesitant (understandably so), so give me some good & bad anecdotes! Give me the pros and cons! I want to hear it ALL!

One girl is 16 from Germany (she is for sure staying with us), the other one is 14 and from Spain (this is the one he's worried about. She seems INCREDIBLY sweet from her bio)

***Edit: I did forget to mention that the plan is for them to share a room.

I really want to be a foreign exchange student as a highschooler but i dont really know where to go. My top choices are China and Thailand but also everything sounds good. Do you guys have any recommendations? Also im not that rich and being a foreign exchange student costs a lot of money so how can i save up fast and how do i get a scholorship somehow? Whats the best year in highschool to do this? How do i learn a language fast? What is the best program to go through (i heard that Rotary Youth Exchange and AFS were the best)?And if you have ever been a foreign exchange student pls tell me about it and give me tips etc.

My family hosted a boy from Germany, me and him are really brothers, we do everything together, know everything about eachother, its really just how i imagined the brother experience, as an only child. I think he is the closest friend I have ever had. I also met a spanish girl through the same program and we really liked eachother and eventually started dating. (I know this is one of the first things they tell you not to do). it just set in a day or 2 ago that I will lose nit only my brother but also my girlfriend at the same time. we will be 6 hours apart. while this wont be a super huge problem during the summer, during school we will never be able to talk. im hoping to take a trip to europe in 2 years but im also trying to get into the air force as soon as i turn 18. currently crying while writing this.

Hi! I’m planning to apply for an AFS exchange program. My application is in my senior year meaning I will graduate at my host country. Can I pursue university there after graduating?

I wanted to ask:

- Can this be done by applying for a student visa (or another visa) after the program ends and they send me home?

• Has anyone talked to AFS about this? Do they support or guide students who want to stay and pursue university in their host country?

I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who’s tried this or looked into it. Thanks!

I really need some advice on how to have the ‘I want to leave early’ conversation with my host family. 
Okay, so I’m currently doing an exchange in Germany and have been kinda struggling recently with not only home sickness but the pressure and exhaustion of trying to keep up all the time. I have spoken with my parents back home and we have decided that returning home early will be better for me and my wellbeing. Also yes I have had conversations with my host family about not being sure if I can complete the whole length of my exchange year but this was more towards the start of my exchange. Earlier they said that if I choose to go home they won’t be upset with me and will help me to get home but I still feel awkward about telling them that I've now made up my mind. I haven't left this conversation to the last minute either because the best time and flights for me to return home is at the start of August so I still have about 2 months to make the most of my exchange before I go home. I feel like within the last two weeks after fully making up my mind there hasn't been a good enough time to start the conversation.

Hey everyone! I'm a 17 year old from India doing a high school exchange year in the US and I'm stuck between two options — Miami Dade County Public Schools (Florida) or Mt. Lebanon High School (Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania).

Has anyone attended either of these schools or lived in these areas? What's the vibe actually like day to day? Any experiences or opinions would be super helpful — I genuinely cannot decide! 🙏

I still get confused sometimes and throw toilet paper in the toilet instead of the trash can

Hi guys! Me and my family are going to host our first exchange student, and i am a bit nervous. There are a few reasons. First of all, he is a lot younger than me and also he is a different gender, also my family can not speak English, so I will be the one who is responsible for all the talking. He will not be here for a long time, only two weeks, but I am still a bit nervous about hosting him. Any advice on how I should approach the exchange, make him feel welcome?

I’m an exchange student and I feel guilty about the attention I get from my host parents

I’m currently on an exchange program and I’ve gotten really close to my host parents, but not as much with one of my host siblings. Lately I’ve started noticing situations where my host parents seem to prioritize me over their own kids unintentionally, and it makes me feel really awkward and guilty.

For example, sometimes if both me and one of their kids start talking at the same time, they’ll respond to me first and then completely forget what their own child was trying to say. I’ve caught myself reminding them like “wait, what were you saying?” to bring the conversation back to their kid.

I know they care about their children and I don’t think they’re bad parents or anything, but I feel uncomfortable being in the middle of this dynamic. I’m worried one of my host siblings feels distant from me because of it, and honestly I would understand why.

Has anyone else experienced this as an exchange student or host sibling? Is there anything I can do to make things less awkward or help build a better relationship with the sibling, or am I overthinking this?

Anyone have recommendations for any short term exchange companies? Im in Canada and would prefer Japan but I can’t do a full semester, something around half a semester. I looked into options like CIEE but they don’t offer a time period that works for me.

What are some ideas for the students to do between when they are done with school and their return trip home? They have a few weeks for this time and we aren't planning any more family trips. Help me with ideas!

Hi all, I’m looking for some honest outside perspective on my host family situation because I’m feeling pretty conflicted.

I (23F) have been living with a host family in Germany since September. From September to January, things were great—I spent a lot of time with them, ate basically all meals together although they only need to provide me with breakfast and graciously fed me dinner without asking for payment, and followed their routine alongside my university classes, volunteering, and my other activities. This was fine with me, especially since I was alone in a new city not knowing anyone but them at first, learning a new language, and getting used to a new way of life.

With time though, I started feeling like I was trying so hard to fit in with them and everyone here that I was losing parts of myself. I was putting everything and everyone above myself and self-care. Some of this had to do with trying to fit in everywhere and not stick out, even if it meant sacrificing my own needs.
Eventually, I realized I would have to make small changes so that I could enjoy the rest of my exchange time.

One major issue from the very beginning revolved around food. For context, in regulation with my program they are only required to provide me with breakfast, and I receive a stipend each month for living expenses. They are very focused on dieting and calories, and I began feeling constantly tired and noticed I wasn’t eating enough. However, even when I brought little snacks home, they would sometimes question it (like why I was eating sweets, especially because they have special spot where sweets are kept and permission needs to be given to open, and they would say you could have just asked us if you wanted it and we could buy it). I never thought this was a big deal though, since most of the time it was just small things like gummies or chocolate that I had gotten from events or outings with friends and would eat when I got home.

So, I tried to adapt but make it clear it was on my own terms. For example, I didn’t really enjoy their typical breakfast, so I started eating something else for breakfast. I offered to cook what I wanted and make enough for anyone who wanted to try it or have some too. When questioned why I wanted to eat that, I was honest and said this breakfast just keeps me fuller for longer and makes me feel better. Unfortunately, this was received badly and I usually got responses like
"we are German and eat this, but you can do whatever you want,” which left me unsure how much flexibility I actually had. I was more so confused since I knew my host siblings ate something similar for breakfast occasionally too.

In January, we had a first difficult conversation initiated by my host mom where she told me things like I was too quiet, didn't explicitly share opinions enough, especially when it came to politics, and sometimes didn't engage with guests enough when we had them.

In regards to the guests, I admitted that that was probably true sometimes. They have guests over frequently often on short-notice where I wasn't informed, and I would just come home from classes and see we had visitors. This isn't a problem, they can do whatever they want in their house. However, when I entered and no one introduced me to anyone, or if there were no seats left at the table to sit with, I was ensure of what to do. Even if there was place, sometimes I would sit down and still not be introduced. If I was, there was very little chance for me to enter the conversation, as most of the visitors were work related.

The problem from that conversation that bothered me: I was asked for specific scenarios where she thought I could improve, but she had none. She said it was my personality but that she didn't want me to change me.

This frustrated me and made me sad, because everything had been going ok until then. She even said that I had been like this since the very beginning, which shocked me. I will admit it was difficult at first to get used to another families way of life. For example, they have someone who comes in the house every week day and takes care of almost every household chore. They eat dinner later than I am used to. But I never critiqued it or criticized things.

After the conversation in January though, things became tense. In February, I started a full-time normal 9-5 internship, so naturally I spent less time at home. I began buying my own food for lunch since they gave me breakfast and lunch, but they were upset I didn't ask them to buy me lunch. Yet, when I started asking for things after they told me this, it would often be eaten quickly and I wouldn’t have enough for the week. I eventually would have to restock these items, but it created tension because food I intended to use for lunch would be taken even if I explicitly told them I made it for lunch.

Over time, they also started withdrawing from me—less conversation, less checking in. My host mom even told me one day when I asked her how she was doing that I should have noticed they were engaging with me less and she didn't want to be asked how she was doing. She even mentioned one day she was upset I didn’t ask her for help finding an internship, even though I found one through the support of my program, claiming she could have gotten me “any internship I wanted."

Communication around meals also broke down—they stopped informing me about dinner plans, so sometimes I would be home in the evenings waiting for someone to come home. Sometimes this went as late as 8:30pm-9pm. I started cooking my own dinner when this started happening regularly, but they were still offended even when I explained that I was hungry by this point and wanted to eat. I know they are a very busy family and meant nothing bad with it, but at 23 years old I can cook my own dinner and feel like if nothing is communicated to me I should eat when I want then. After all, I do have my own responsibilities to look after.

There have also been smaller, more but frequent criticisms. For example, she told me one day I was washing dishes wrong and that she thought her way was common sense. She points out every time that I eat with my fork in my right hand and not left, despite me explaining that I was taught with my right. The list could truly go on.

Sadly, in March, we had another discussion initiated by my host mom again where she said several things similar to before, but ended the conversation with “don’t expect me to be interested in you anymore or engage with you.”

This was a turning point for me because I realized she completely shut the door on our relationship, even though I had been trying despite her lack of effort. From day one, I take care of cleaning my own room, doing my laundry, and simply cleaning up after myself. I consistently clean the kitchen up even if I didn't make the mess, which she does get mad at me sometimes for which I think is because they depend on the cleaner for that. But that is something I normally do to show appreciation and overall respect. When they leave for vacations or are just out of town for a few days, I am left alone to take care of the house and do so without resentment because I acknowledge what they do for me.

Unfortunately after this specific conversation, I felt like our relationship was not repairable.

More recently, she asked if she should still cook dinner for me. I said that if I come home, don’t see anyone, and nothing is on the calendar, I assume I should take care of myself. That seemed to frustrate her further, to which she said she just knows she doesn't have to cook for me now.

What I also don't understand is that she often says the other members of the family feel the same way, but they haven’t said anything directly to me.

We only have about a month left together, so I’ll get through it—but I feel uncomfortable and also guilty, like maybe I could have handled things differently. At the same time, during our January conversation, she said I had “been like this all along,” which confused me since things felt fine before and she never once brought any concerns up, even when we completed our required meeting with our program advisor at the beginning of our time together to go over anything that should be discussed.

So I’d really appreciate honest opinions:
- Am I being difficult or not adapting enough?
- Are these expectations normal for a host family?
- What would you have done differently in my position?

Thanks in advance for any perspective.