r/daddit

We have an odd house in that I work from home 9-5 and my wife works 2-10 (works for a company in another country).

What it means is I've had my kid every morning and every bedtime, and wake ups (yes wakes up once a night still at 3) since they were 6 months old.

I have no social life, no sex life, no chance to care for my body, I work, parent, sleep.

To add to this, comments from other mums about how well my wife was mothering, how well she looked and how well she was doing was really fucking me off, of course she's ok muggins here's doing all the work weekdays and most weekends.

I was miserable and angry, honestly was debating a split as I felt like a servant and was not valued.

Bottom line, I realised it was me. I was passively just ignoring her, being rude, being grumpy and not going near her. she can't help the work situation.

So I tested hugging and kissing her first thing when she joins us and it's worked wonders. I've explained I want to become more intimate (for the lurker mums we want cuddles and kisses we are not just trying to shag you despite what relationship t*KT*k tells you, and dads joke flirting does not work they feel it's bartering for their body).

She explained all her feelings and validated id been a dick, I didn't get offended and we've planned a path forward. That night she said she was off to bed and I chose to workout, she also put our kid to bed earlier (it's a national holiday) and wow, I was so happy.

We've agreed for more safe chats until we are back to ourselves, so wish me luck and communicating works.

like a whole one!

Caught this exchange between my 4 and 6 year old and I’m still processing it:

“I’M GOING TO TELL MOM ON YOU!”

“Why not tell Dad? He’s RIGHT there. Is it because you know he won’t do anything? Does that make you think maybe I’m not even being bad and that YOU’RE the bad one!?”

So now I’m sitting here trying to figure out if this means I’ve successfully positioned myself as the “only escalate to Dad in case of emergency” parent… or if I’ve just been absolutely exposed as a non-factor.

Either way, my 6 year old is out here running full cross-examination like a tiny defense attorney and it’s honestly a little bone chilling.

Dads… what’s the most savage psychological warfare your kids have pulled on each other?

My oldest son is 13, almost 14. He just got back from his 8th grade trip to Washington DC and came home with a girlfriend. A girl asked for his number on the trip and they're going for ice cream this Friday for their first date.

He's a good kid, and I'd describe him as "a young soul". He's grown up a lot lately, but this is completely new territory for him. And honestly, for me too. I didn't start dating until I was 17 and also that was well before even cell phones were a thing so I'm not exactly working from experience here.

He's got a solid support system at home. My wife and I are both very involved and for most social things I usually defer to my wife, because she has a much more functional family in comparison to what I came from. However, I would like to be more helpful, especially in these situations.

On the note of cell phones, he has a phone but barely uses it, and it stays in the common area of the house.

I just want to know: how do kids this age actually "date"? Is there anything useful I can say to him? I feel like he's actually ahead of me in a lot of ways when it comes to handling social stuff. I don't want to make a bigger deal of it than it is, but I also want to be there if he needs something.

Any dads been through this with a son around this age? What did you do or say that actually helped?

Thanks crew!

2 year old and 6 month old. it's so utterly exhausting. every night once the kids go to bed at 7 I just aim to go to bed read kindle or literally mong out on my phone. pisses my wife off but I just have zero energy for conversation. it's bad and need to ensure it doesn't become a bad habit. anyone else losing connection to wife through these early years of chaos?

Both kids are sitting on the couch playing videogames after a long weekend of traveling, staying in a hotel, swimming, going to touristy stuff that kids love, going to see the new Mario movie and it makes me think of the good times when I was a kid and I think they'll look back at these times the same way I do about the small things when I was a kid.

I am not religious at all, though I was raised catholic, and my wife left her flavor of christianity years ago. My parents are still active catholics, though they don't try to get me to attend mass or talk about religion to me any more. my wife's family on the other hand, is way more religious than when my wife and her siblings were younger. They try to pressure us to go to church, and have even tried to convince us to baptize our daughter. I've tried to be respectful and firm, and let my wife handle her own family, but this past weekend had me on the verge of detailing exactly why I don't do organized religion, and the problems with the mega-church her sister's family attends.

Her sister has recently had a health scare, and guilted my wife into attending church for easter. She tried to convince me to go as well, and I ended up having to be more blunt than I would have preferred, considering she had just been released from the hospital.

I don't want to have to lay out all the issues and potentially alienate her family, but I'm not going back to religion, and I will not allow my daughter to be indoctrinated. How have you other dads handled this?

10 mins in. Let’s see how long this lasts but I’m digging the quiet.

I've tried time and time again to sneeze quietly, but it cannot be done. Additionally, there's a 95% chance I'll hurt myself in some capacity.