r/circlejerk

Hey has anyone heard of the town "Gary, Indiana"?

Thanks in advance for all your very real first-person stories about your experience there

reddit.com
u/instinctblues — 8 hours ago

In the US, supermarkets offer bananas at the same level of ripeness so customers can watch them rot over several days and increase food waste

u/World-Tight — 12 hours ago
▲ 117 r/circlejerk+1 crossposts

What are these bricks on Putin's umbrella?

Is this a real picture? I saw this picture in a news article. If it's real, are the brick things scramblers/signal jammers or something like that?

u/MadAlexIBe — 5 days ago

If AOC and Bernie Sanders were to run in 20218 and promised to nationalize weed would fellow redditors be voting for them too or would you rather vote for nazi scumfucks?

Thread

reddit.com
u/One_Landscape2007 — 3 days ago

Bot wanker

Who is this “bot” wanker that says I don’t have enough imaginary internet point they call “karma” to tell some tard in r/vent that they should probably watch a tv show before saying it was not any good?

They are whining about a show they haven’t even watched because their “boyfriend” told them he was thinking about not watching it anymore.

First, we know you don’t have a “boyfriend”. It is a clanker and you know it.
B. Such a reddit mod move to tell me I need more fake internet points. Sent I am sure from their mom’s basement.
Third, forgive my English, I am on mobile.

Updoots please so I can get karma to fulfill my life long dream of posting in r/vent.

reddit.com

HELP! I shit my pants in front of my crush

I(32M) shit my pants infront of my crush (20F) im a loser who hasnt done much, and still live with my parents. But recently my parents forced me to get a "real" job. Suffice it to say I clean up pretty good when I put in the effort. Anyway, first day BAM! GORGEOUS woman (we'll call her emily) on my team. We immediately hit it off, talking about anime, video games, metal(NOT sleep token thank god). Over the next 3 months we get close. Going out places to see movies, and sometimes sneaking her into bars. So one night we're talking and shes saying how she wants try dating again, her last bf was abusive and not good at all. I decided this was my time to ask her. I asked her on a date and her response broke me "im sorry anon but you're too old. Besides, I dont want to date a coworker." My response? I shit my pants. Right then and there. Not just a little pebble, but a giant fucking log. Immediately she yells "EW ANON, WHAT THE FUCK." Suffice it to say we haven't talked and its been a month. I also got fired from that job. My parents threatened to kick me out of the house. Ive just been furiously masturbating to hentai. But I feel like I should go back and tell her how much she means to me... and how much I love her. Shes one of the few people I felt comfortable around. So anyway yeah what do yall think?

reddit.com
u/gayzebra99 — 4 hours ago