r/aegosexuals

Most definitions of aegosexuality describe it as having little to no sexual attraction to people, but still being turned on by erotic content and thoughts disconnected from the self.

Me personally, the best way I’ve found to describe what I experience, is I feel sexual arousal but not sexual attraction. If I find something hot, that is erotic fuel, but it’s not magnetism to that person/situation. And generally I prefer fantasies to remain fantasies, like that’s the ideal medium for them and self-pleasure is the ideal release.

I’m just curious what your version of that is. How do you experience attraction or lack thereof? What goes on in your mind when you see someone sexy vs imagine someone sexy? Do you perhaps feel like you do experience sexual attraction but still identify with aegosexuality?

So I’m a bit confused about my sexuality, and I’m not entirely certain if I am aegosexual or orchid sexual. Am I accepted here?

Hey I'm 27F, I have always been single. I have been asked out and I had crushes in the past. The thing about crushes, I like people as long as they do not talk to me or give me any attention. I enjoy watching them from far away, seeing their interaction with other people etc. But when they start talking to me the image I have of them in my mind is shuttered and my admiration disappears. I realized that a long time ago and since then I have never interacted with anyone when I like them.

About aegosexualism I did a lot of researches to put myself in a certain group and a few years ago I discovered it, I realised I liked the content of sex since high school but when someone touches me or tries to talk dirty to me I feel disgusted. I like the idea of sex as long as I'm not part of it. After looking at the community and seeing everyone else's kinks. I can also confirm that I'm one of you as well in terms of kinks too lol.

I've always been satisfied with just me without having a partner but lately I am seeking someone that I can talk other than my friends. I want to have a platonic relationship with someone it seems. What I mean by platonic relationship is that we don't have to have any passion for each other as long as we can communicate and speak without disrespecting each other. Becoming that special someone for someone else.

It might seem like a friendship from first glance but I'm not looking for friends, I want to be special for someone same for them. I don't know if I could explain myself but I was curious if anybody here is experiencing or experienced similar feelings and how did it end for them? Or am I just crazy and looking for attention lol? Let me know...

For me at least, 31F and feeling bad about my self image atm. I have pretty severe anxiety and have been medicated for the past few months, so I’m working on that aspect of my life. I’ve been told by a variety of people, not only family or friends, that I’m attractive. I try to take care of myself and question how someone can be attractive if they’re ALWAYS single. It’s always assumed that the average woman can find a man without batting an eye, not to mention the crazy amount of attention that beautiful women experience. I’m not saying I’m a 10 but I’d like to think that I should be able to attract a man that checks off most of my boxes. I’m very introverted & have to rely on dating apps, I get the attention but that doesn’t work out in my favor since I’m clearly still alone. I can maybe count on one hand the amount of times that an attractive guy subtly/indirectly showed interest in person…how’s that supposed to make me feel better?

Aside from anxiety, I do think that I tend to prefer my alone time and that may stem from being raised an only child for most of my life. There’s the hard truth of wanting to protect my peace, however I’m pretty content with having no friends. The last thing that I question the most is asexuality, however it’s hard to tell if it’s more due to the lack of finding the right person. All my life, I’ve been indifferent about sex and no desire to be sexually active. I know I’m attracted to men but have never been boy crazy, I had celeb crushes growing up though. I can acknowledge that a guy is attractive but don’t really experience sexual attraction, more like romantic attraction if I have feelings for him beforehand. I’m apathetic about relationships to an extent but feel conflicted when I see other attractive people in relationships on social media etc… make it make sense?! Being naturally a loner, anxious, independent, bordering avoidant attachment style and possibly asexual are all very likely valid reasons to justify being single…but they say there’s someone for everyone.

Please post your “am I aegosexual” questions here instead of creating a new thread.

Housekeeping: I’m going to be posting another thread soon asking if anyone wants to join the moderating team. If you’re interested, you can message me, otherwise you can wait. I’ve started compiling a list of members I’ll be tagging if I DONT get any responses.

So back in February I realized for sure that im ace. Id been sort of in fighting with the idea of being ace for a long time because I still got turned on by porn. But once I read that some aces do masturbate and watch porn, and that it was really about the attraction, then I was sure I was ace, as ive never been attracted to anyone specific, nor anyone in real life. But its that thing about porn being a turn on that still has me confused. For a while I sort of decided I was cupioace, and I do still think I'd wanna at least try sex one day (im still a virgin). If i did it'd be someone I really trust like a qpr.

Recently ive been looking into aego, and it feels close, but there are still things i dont really see. For example the third person thing seems pretty important, but i feel like i dont experience it that way. I think the way I view it is that I imagine myself as the person in the image or porn or whatever, like I become them more than I replace them. I dont really fantasize much and whenever I have it was usually first person perspective in some capacity. Im not much of a kinky person either, at least not in a bdsm sense, which ive heard is common with aego. At the same time I think i struggle to pin point what counts at first person thinking or third person thinking. Its honestly a very real possibility that im just able to disassociate enough in these scenarios that I can enjoy them, but idk.

That being said the thing i do relate too is the part of aego talking about having "triggers" and things that turn you on, but dont necessarily come with a desire to do those things in real life. I wouldn't say there are specific characters or people in porn that get me going, it mostly comes down to artstyle and what theyre doing (I mostly engage with 2d stuff). And whenever I think of a lot of these things happening to me specifically, I just think theres no way, or that theres no way id do what they're doing, especially since a lot of what i watch tends to involve extreme ends of sexual desire.

Another aspect of aego that I think gets me is the seemingly always sex-aversness I seems to have. I think im sex-positive, although ive never done it, but in theory I feel like id totally do it. Although when I imagine it i usually imagine itd be with a partner if some kind. Idk maybe im just like constantly layers deep in artifice and im actually aego. I wanna hear what others think though cause there are still aego experiences I cant relate too, and plain ave experiences i cant relate too, so im kinda stuck wondering.

Just found this label and it feels like a fit for me! So I thought this would be a good place to ask if anyone has experienced this.
Almost since I can remember I’ve always found a lot of joy in characters getting hurt in shows, especially if they were my favourite. For example Supernatural is a man pain gold mine and I always feel really excited and happy seeing this,(i only recently found out the word for this is whump). Although this does feel sexual in nature, if I tried to use that material to go any further I would hit a metal wall.
Something about it feels incompatible with the other crazy porn I actually use to get off. Think it has something to do with me needing to become part of the fantasy for it go move into sex which I really don’t like. I don’t know

Sorry if this is too weird I’ve just always wondered why they are separated in my mind and if anyone else has felt the same. Thanks:)