r/UKParenting

Hi everyone,

My LO is 10 months old and started nursery 2 weeks ago, having had multiple settling in sessions over the span of the preceding 3 weeks. She has only attended nursery for 4 full days over those last 2 weeks due to illnesses and the holidays around Easter.

She is on milk and solids, although solids can be a bit of a hit and miss at nursery due to her age and her getting used to her new environment, which I believe is totally normal and expected.

She has 4 bottles of milk each day:

- 7 am - 150 ml

- 9 30 am - 150 ml

- 1 30 pm - 180 ml

- 7 30 pm - 180 ml

and naps twice a day:

- 10 - 11 am

- 2 - 4 pm

The nursery are aware of her schedule, yet of the 4 days she attended, the staff did not offer her a 1 30 pm bottle on 3 of the days. Twice, I gave it to her when I picked her up at 3:30 pm and 4 30 pm and once I called them at 3 pm to remind them to feed her.

What makes this worse is that they have told me she has no solids or very little when offered and that they also tell me she is refusing her 9 30 am bottle or vomiting after.

So between me leaving her around 9-9:30 am and picking her up around 4-4:30 pm she has had no substantial amount of milk or solids for 6-7 HOURS.

I am extremely distressed over the situation and feel like I cannot trust the nursery ever again to take care of my child. I have spoken to management but received no apology over the situation and instead talk of misunderstanding and how they would make sure this doesn't happen. My husband and I both work full time and I have barely managed to focus thinking about how neglected and hungry my LO is.

I think the nursery should release us from our contract and return any money paid for future childcare. Am I overreacting?

What should I do?

Today my spine has betrayed me again, and I'm in too much pain to take the kids out to the park/for a walk like we would usually do. We're stuck in with a 4 year old boy who can do well at times with independent play but he's still very destructive and needs close supervision, and an almost 2 year old girl who doesn't want independent play at all. They have open access to the garden but it looks like it'll rain soon, also open access to colouring books/pencils/stickers they can play with in the dining room. Their bedroom is essentially their playroom with all their toys in there too but they never go up and play unless we go first - they just need to be glued to us.

I'm intent on not existing for their entertainment and encouraging boredom so they can find fun tasks independently, but it's so hard when I can barely move. Usually I'm busy with chores and cooking but that's not on the cards for today - I literally don't know what to do with myself! I have some creative hobbies and I enjoy gaming but what I like to play isn't acceptable for little eyes, and my hobbies require setting up and space - and my kids would 100% try to run away with pieces that are crucial to the plan!! I feel like I don't know how to exist around my kids when they're actually occupied and when I can't clean. But I also don't know how to exist as a family with no plans for the day 😅

Wanted to take the kids swimming for the last day of the school holidays. £31.90 for two adults and two kids aged 4 and 6 at our semi-local leisure centre seemed a bit steep (we're still getting used to paying big kid prices for the younger one), but we thought we'd splash out as Last Day of the Holidays, etc. Our more local centre would have been cheaper at around £16, but the further-away-more-expensive one has wave machines and a flume and the kids do love it, so.

After a 25-minute drive, we arrive at the centre, do the usual dance of wrestling Mlle 4 and Mme 6 into their swimsuits, and get into the water. The pool seems much quieter than usual, and after 30 seconds we realise why -- It. Is. Freezing. Being hardy outdoor sorts (husband is Scottish to boot!) we encourage the kids to tough it out, do lots of kicking so they stay as warm as possible, etc. They did their best, but by the 30-minute mark I had a 6-year-old (who is quite small and a bit underweight) physically unable to do anything but huddle sadly over on an outlet vent with her lips turning blue, and a 4-year-old frantically bouncing up and down whole-body-shivering while squeaking "too cold!".

At this point, we admitted defeat and fished them out of the pool. On the way to the changing room I asked a lifeguard why it was so cold, and he admitted that the boiler switch had tripped overnight which meant the pool had gone cold overnight and was still coming back up to temperature. Nobody had mentioned this to us on the way in.

On the way out I asked the nice young man behind the front desk about the possibility of a refund or credit note against a future visit. He went off to ask his manager, and came back with a second-hand lecture from the manager about how he would generously issue us with a pass for another session Just This Once, but we really should have got out immediately if we wanted a refund (with the strong implication being that we thought we were being dodgy/looking for freebies). Nice young man was obviously a bit embarrassed about this.

I might be being petty and grumpy, but this has really rubbed me up the wrong way -- over £30 is already bloody expensive for an hour's worth of swimming, and I don't appreciate the implication that I'm being dishonest just because we spent 30 minutes trying to make the best of a situation where we'd already driven 25 minutes and had kids who were desperately excited to swim.

I guess I'm just looking for a sense-check -- am I reasonable to have the grump about this, or am I just suffering from irreversible end-of-school-holidays crabbitude?

My son is 4 and loves playing a variety of different games; roleplaying, board games, card games, trains etc. A lot of the time, however, he has to have someone playing with him. Of course, this is fine, we had a child and we spend time with him. There are just time where we need to chill during the day or actually get housework or cooking done etc, and he just cannot seem to engage with the independent play that we set up or suggest.

There are times where he will play alone for a little bit, but they are few and far between. When we play with him but then need to do something, suggest how he can play on his own, he loses all interest. The only thing that works to get him to let us sort out adult things or relax is TV time or when he is sitting down to eat. It is so frustrating sometimes as we don't want to rely on TV. From my perspective, I don't understand it as I engaged in a lot of independent play when I was a child myself. I did have siblings to play with as well, but I remember playing alone too or just sitting down and reading. I don't remember constantly asking my parents to play. I find it difficult personally as I am not very good at the type of roleplaying he enjoys, thankfully my husband is. I am much better with the board games and card games.

Anyway, any suggestions to encourage independent play would be helpful.

I keep seeing people say things like “they’ll need to be adaptable” or “learn to use AI properly”, but I struggle to translate that into what it actually means day to day for a teenager.

Not in 20 years, but right now.

Are there any skills you’re actively trying to encourage, or does it still feel a bit unclear?

I love my 10mo so much but she is something else. Shes almost walking, crawling and cruising and is just absolutely non stop unless I’m holding her (literally restraining her is the only way to stop her) and she has such an intense personality. She will scream if she doesn’t get what she wants or if I stop her doing something that could hurt her. I’ve just had to eat my lunch holding her at bay while she screams because I wouldn’t share it (it’s something she can’t eat, she’s already eaten). She’s been full on from birth with colic and CMPA and not sleeping etc so I shouldn’t really be surprised that she’s like this now. I just want it to get easier though.

It’s just relentless at the moment and she genuinely doesn’t seem happy very often. I’m really not enjoying her personality as it’s coming out and I feel awful for admitting that.

Did anyone else have an intense baby who turned into a chilled child or am I stuck with a high maintenance daughter for life?!

Last week I posted about my potty training hell. I got some great advice from you lovely lot and just wanted to update firstly to say thank you for all the tips and suggestions, and secondly to say if you are going through the trenches of potty training and are second guessing yourself if it’s the right time - stick with it, it gets better!

Friday last week I cried in the evening because it was an absolute terrible day, not a single potty wee despite him doing well at nursery the few days before.

Saturday, still a lot of accidents but we got a fair few potty wees in.

Sunday, not a single accident, every wee in the potty.

Since Sunday last week, he’s had no accidents at home, and most days has even woken up in the morning with a dry nappy and has asked for the toilet as soon as I’ve gone into his bedroom to get him up. He had one accident at nursery on Wednesday but his key worker said it was just because he didn’t get his pants down in time, otherwise he is telling us when he needs a wee, and sometimes just taking himself to the potty and doing it himself and telling me when he’s done.

Poos are a different story altogether. Most have been in his pants, but we’re getting there, and I can confidently say he’s potty trained for wees now!

Hello all, I would love to make new friends as atm I feel I'm constantly reaching out to others to organise and not getting much effort in return from most, tbh I find the prospect of making friends hard especially in a city and life is obviously very busy with work/family obligations etc. I just downloaded the app peanut but do any parents attend a social club weekly or monthly ? If so how did you find out about it? I'm thinking if it is a weekly meetup people would be more likely to consistently attend.

I finally got the 2nd stripe on a stick and expecting number 2 by end of the year. Number will then be 3.5 yo nearly on the dot. What are the best books you recommend to help prepare for number 2? Recs preferred for things you felt have really made a difference/ypu have actually used

Thanks!

I know this is likely very stupid but I am not the most social person and a bit awkward around strangers and sometimes struggle working out what is acceptable or normal. So humour me please.

Little one is now 1! Can walk and now that the weather is nicer I have been going to the playground almost every day as we live so close.

How much chatting is normal with other parents? For example if we are using the swing, often another parent + baby / toddler will come and use the one next to ours. I say hello but sometimes they then initiate a conversation. Sometimes they talk to their child but glanze over at me so I am not sure if they are trying for me to join in? Like for example today a dad said to his son 'is it raining?' - the baby was maybe 8 months so unsure if he wanted me to answer. Then I saw him look at me like here and there for almost the whole hour I was there.

And if my child walks / crawls up to another child or towards them, do I just say hi or do I say 'hi! this is (name of child)' or ask them how they are doing?

(I swear I am not an alien. I do need a diagnosis though)

My 4 year old has curly hair and I do not so I don’t know what I’m doing with it. She doesn’t care what her hair looks like generally and I don’t want to start putting lots of attention on her appearance but I was wondering if there is something I could be doing with her curly hair. Is there anything kid friendly?

I’m not sure what I am hoping to get out of this. Maybe a message of hope?!

My baby is 1 year old and had recurring ear infections. Had a referral to ENT which I’ve been warned is an 18month waiting list but GP said most likely will end up with glue ear diagnosis however there is nothing to GP can do for me anymore. I had glue ear and grommets as a child so I guess inevitable she may end up the same.

To put it lightly the last three months have been absolute hell. My baby is miserable. She isn’t sleeping, she isn’t happy, she’s having to miss so much nursery which means I don’t get paid.

I did a post search and there were posts about glue ear in toddlers and grommets being fit at 3. Am I supposed to just stick this out until she is 2/3 years old? I can’t do this for another two years.

Anyone with any advice or any words of wisdom appreciated.

Excuse poor punctuation and spelling. Sat in a dark room on our 5th wake up of the night. Can you hear the desperation in my voice?!

Hello, I’ve got a trip booked for a week during term time by mistake (completely messed up the dates). My little one goes to nursery for 3 days and we use the full 15 hours funding. I’m very worried about getting in trouble for taking a holiday during the term time and losing my funding because of it. What’s the best thing to do?

I'm spiralling. I know I'll be able to get pull ups there, but my mind is telling me 'nooooo, you need to take loads of them with you, you can't get them there!'

Someone please tell me I can easily find nappies 🤣