r/SupportForTheAccused

How did/do you guys prepare for the inevitable arrest that’s impending? How was your experience ? I mistakenly talked to an investigator and a pretext call from lying accuser while I didn’t say anything to incriminate myself too much a bunch of lawyers said i’ll probably be charged/arrested. So how did you guys accept it

No arrests, no trial.

Include whether or not the police contacted you.

So me and my gf had sex before a breakup, it was consensual with kissing and dirty talk, but she initially didn’t want to because friends were home and she doesn’t like being loud, but she consented after I said “we could be quiet.” She proceeded to accept and even said “do you want to put a baby in me?” So we continued and I penetrated her. About 10 seconds into it, the bed was noisy and squeaky so she said to stop, and I said okay and we immediately quit.

Life continues normal. 2 weeks later, we get into a big fight as I’m leaving for California for a tour, and she brings up again how she doesn’t like having sex in the same house as other people, and it makes her uncomfortable while re-assuring me saying “I’m not saying you raped me, you’re a good man, I’m not saying rape.” And I validated her boundaries for sex play and the setting in which it occurs. I have all this in text. Which also follows with her asking if I’m sexually attracted to her and a blow out between us about her vegan diet and the strains it puts on our relationship. Etc… we don’t talk for the duration of my trip per her request.

Apparently when I’m gone, a now ex friend of mine, tells her I was ‘seeing other women’ while gone.

I come home to a letter breaking up and I was blocked on all social media and her phone number. She mentions my lack of showing up for her and her daughter and doesn’t want to be with me anymore.

3 days later my now ex friend texts me saying we can’t be friends or work together anymore and that my ex is saying I raped her that morning. I was devastated and blown away on top of already being broken up with randomly.

Location: Nashville, TN but had sex in Queens, New York.

Woke up to my brother filming me in my sleep, pushed him lightly in self-defense, cops were not interested in context and slammed a battery charge on me. Lots of other instances of cops going to bat for men above all else.

Brother's been violent with me before but never actually pressed charges.

He told me he'd drop the charges and to not get a lawyer or worry about showing up to my court date. He's very persuasive/manipulative and I believed him.

He didn't drop the charges, I missed the court date, and then was informed by a cop during a traffic stop 6 months later that there was an arrest warrant out for me / bench warrant.

The county jail that I could have been sent to if he arrested me was being investigated by DOJ for an "epidemic" of prison guard rape

Beyond that, having a violent crime on my record would negate everything I've worked for to achieve some sort of success in life/career, and in that regard would also impact the kind of life I could give my children.

Just needed to vent about this. Has anyone else been in abusive situations where the police are weaponized against you

so basically im 18, and a month ago i was on a film set as a background extra.

to cut it short, a girl said i touched her ass innapropriately, which i didnt. i have no reason to lie to u guys. she then went to go and tell one of the higher ups that i sexually harrased her. she didnt like me initially, bc she thought i was cocky and arrogant because i was flirting with all of her friends (including her), and she later said i was very conceited and full of myself.

i was kicked off set. now, they dont really care if there is any evidence or not, they needed me off set bc they cant afford for somebody to feel uncomfortable around somebody else on set. now i was kicked off, but there was no legal action that took place. so i am grateful i dont have to fight any cases.

but i did take a damage socially.

now, i am very involved with the music industry in my country and my music is very good. i know i will blow up locally. however, i am scared that one day when i am famous, she will come out with a video or something saying " oh this the rapper that sexually assaulted me a year ago on set, and he was kicked off for it. i am afraid it will ruin everything i built. also ppl , when it comes to public figure, believe anything based off emotion.

now i have been hella anxious and thinking catastrophically about this whole situation. i need help. i dont know if im thinking iradically, or if i dont think like this i am being ignorant. i really dont want this to ruin my future. I NEED HELP BECAUSE MENTALLY I AM STRUGGLING!!!

This might be slightly graphic so disclaimer, but I need y'all to understand why I feel so indignant

So my ex gf who I dated for 5 years claimed that she had not given me consent the last time we had sex which is a clear and utter lie. While I did not get a verbal "yes", she clearly told me to grab a condom. I did so and she assumed the doggy style position and I proceeded to do what I needed to do. (Key point I need to point out here is that at some point, it slipped out and she put it back in herself so I could continue)

Anyway, I'm an older guy now and my knee started giving out so I asked her to flip over to her back. She did so and we continued. Once we were done, I asked if she was good or if she needed me to continue since sometimes it took her a bit longer to finish. She said she was good and I said cool. She looked a little disappointed and I chuckled a bit from my own embarrassment at not having done a good job (little did I know, that chuckle would be the catalyst for everything).

A few weeks later (we hadn't had sex since then), she sits me down and tells me that she felt that I had raped her that night. I was in disbelief and couldn't really respond but she kept talking. She said how I made her feel unsafe, that during the course of the sex, she realized that she didn't want to do it anymore. She was upset that I hadn't noticed that she didn't want to do it anymore. I was clearly flabbergasted, I mean, she was an active participant. She willingly switched positions, she put it back in herself for fucks sake, and now all of a sudden it's rape just because she changed her mind without telling me?.

You know what, fine, I would have given her the changing her mind thing. She's allowed to change her mind at any moment and I would have stopped. But she said nothing!!, she did nothing! When I questioned why she didn't say anything at the time and kept participating, she said she froze, which is why she wasn't able to say anything. In my mind I thought...'when the hell did you freeze?, when you were assuming the doggy style position completely unprompted?, or when you flipped over willingly halfway?. Or maybe it's when I slipped out and you grabbed it and put it back in?. Why does it feel like I was being blamed for her regret and lack of accountability?. We had even spoken about this. I told her a million times that if she ever felt uncomfortable or wanted me to stop, she was free to tell me. Hell she could even punch and hit me if she wanted. I even proposed safe words which she rejected since they were not "romantic".

She wanted me to get a verbal "yes" from her moving forward and I asked how that would help with her freezing and she couldn't answer me. I obviously left her but honestly, I feel so indignant. How is any of this fair?. Why should I now be scared of being labeled a rapist because she changed her mind?. I'm genuinely scared for my son and all young men out there in the world today.

I was arrested for the R and malicious wounding with no evidence. It got dismissed at the preliminary hearing last week but not before it RUINED my life.

The investigating detective had been a detective for 5 months and never done a case like this. He interviewed 2/7 witnesses one of them being the girl who lied, the other one told them she had asked the girl multiple times that night if she was comfortable with me to which the girl said yes every-time. She told the investigator that the girl had shown interest in hooking up with me earlier in the night. The reason for not interviewing everyone? “I intended to but never got around to it”

Evidence was put in a trash bag from under the sink in the apartment we were all in 48 hours prior. Not an evidence bag becus “we didn’t have any at the time”

When the SANE exam came back absolutely 0 signs of abnormality were found, it also says the oral was consensual, there are also many statements she made that with the slightest investigation would show are a lie.

A proper investigation with a detective that knows how to do there job would have never led to my arrest which ruined my life in so many ways.

Hey guys I'm in a difficult situation I got drunk one night and this chick also got drunk we were both pretty fucked up and we were both equally going after each other. Like making out and climbing on each other according to my sober friend who was there. People at the party try to pull us both away from each other but we kept going after each other and pushing it. Now the girl and her friend are saying I took advantage of her when I think it was just a drunken mess.

I don't know how to handle this she said she won't report me but she still stands by that I did that to her when the day after it happened she said she never accused me of It. It was her friend but now she has a boyfriend and she is standing by it

Would any lawyer be willing to send a cease and desist with a letter of demand pro bono to get some videos taken down? My charges were dismissed at the prelim but of course the accuser isn’t telling anyone. I’m honestly to scared to clear my name up on my own. There are videos about me posted with over 500k views one of them says in it “i will no longer speak to him because of this fact” i’m really not interested in civil i want to move on but if you google my name that’s what pops up. Obviously if it doesn’t come down then i’ll proceed with a lawsuit but I just want it off. I’m worried if i send it then it will be taken as a joke and turn into more ways to destroy me on social media. I just want people to know it was dismissed and feel safe in public again.

Im single guy in my 30s.

My mother is an evil person. Her words do not match with her body language. She makes weird moves like pretending to knock doors and telling me that no body knocked the door. She often acts sick, when I take her to doctor, the doctors tell me she got no illness.

Also, she tries to make me submit to her and when I speak for myself she tells everyone that I am acting aggressive and my blood pressure is high and need to consult a psychotherapist. I even took medicine from a psychotherapist which made me sleep a lot because my family forced me to take it to deal with depression (which they artificially induced in me by acting and doing weird stuff). This also lead me to accuse hypertension.

Once I was having a fever in summer and she turned on a heater instead of air conditioner and pretended like she didnt know what she did.

I left home once for a year and felt healthy, even my erections felt really good. I had to come back because things were not going good and my family was eating my money. When I came back home, I again lost my energy which makes me doubt she mixes something in my food like hormones etc.

My brother also get along with her and mocks me.He makes fun of me when I am really ill. For the context, both of them threatens me that they will take me to doctor and will make me take medicine and injections again because I do not follow their commands.

I do not do any drugs. I am an educated person with a masters degree (topper of my class), have a good job, pays my own bills. All I think is that my family wants my inheritance because I reject the idea of getting married.

My mother did the same with my dad and he also left home because he could not find peace. If do the same, I will be left with nothing and my siblings will get everything and exclude me from everything.

This is making me depressed and my family's manipulative behaviour makes me question reality.

Please, help me. What should I do?

I made the mistake of talking to the investigator in a phone call. I didn't realize how bad it was till later when I started researching. I come from a household that's honest and good of heart but not intelligent in the ways of the law or by any means wealthy.

I had to scramble money to find a defense attorney. I told them everything along with what I told the police.

I'm scared of jail most of all. I have multiple health problems. I don't know if I'll get a bond. I haven't been charged yet. Haven't been arrested yet. I'm praying every night for a positive and lucky outcome.

It's been two weeks.