r/StraightBiPartners

Really, there are no searches for this?

My husband is gay or bi and lying

My husband has been interested in a variety of people since we met. Doesn't bother me. He was always focused on the gay community, not a big deal as I loved that community. However our sex life was good until zap 20 years ago. Let me explain this, he could never get it up, I asked him him if we could go to a counselor, he refused. I worked 3 hrs a day round trip. Then we moved away from my stable job to his. IHe said he “came to terms” of our lack of sex, I was like what, and said you are a liar and havent come to terms with your sexuality? I know that's the wrong thing to say. We've been married 34 years. But lately I've felt that thereis another huge shift. He had a facelift, hangs out taking photos of gay men at clubs. He's a serious hobbies photographer at gay places. He has started in menchats and I hear him late at night talking with someone. I have had multiple health issues, but at 63, I feel like, is this it?

I've dated this guy going on nine years. We have kids, we have kids together too. He didnt tell me he was bisexual. I found messages between him and other men. I was completely broken i couldn't believe it. He lied for years about it. Finally tells me after i find messages that hes meeting up with one of them. He tells me he wants to cockhold and that it wont effect us. And hes never felt closer to me than he does in this moment. That i never have to worry about him leaving. The conversation goes on for weeks, months. Him parading different guys through my dm. Then nothing he has regrets wants to be a better person. Wants to get married. Now i find all of the other chics hes been following, adoring every tit pic posted. We've moved to his home town and guess what hes back to wanting to cockhold. I feel untethered im tired of chasing him. I cant compete with men. And im not these little makeup layered girls flashing what they have. I love him so much but i just dont feel like i can be enough for him. And i cant talk to him about it im automatically wrong and worrying to much. My hearts in turmoil what do i do😭

I (M30) am happily married (F25), I am emotionally, sexually and physically attracted to females but I also have a sexual attraction to men.

I have found myself watching more gay porn recently I am finding straight porn boring so I have watched gay porn when the wife is away.

I've been with guys in the past and had occasional fwbs with guys as well and those thoughts and feelings have laid dormant for years.

I don't know why it's started cropping up, do I see it as the "forbidden fruit"? I am sexually satisfied with my wife, we have great sex but when she's away I turn to gay porn and fantasise about men.

When I'm at the gym I find myself looking at guys more than normal. Im struggling with my male friendships and relationships as I am finding myself making up fantasies in my head.

I feel like this is just a mind dump. I just have no one to talk to about it, my wife knows I have been with guys in the past but that's it really.

My wife recently gave me a “hall pass” to explore some sexual interests outside our marriage. We are both bi, though neither of us has acted on it in years. We have a great sex life, communicate openky, and that may eventually include exploring swinging together, too.

She also knows and is fully supportive of my crossdressing, and that is part of our play, too. But as we talked more about fantasies, I realized there are some experiences I’d really like to explore: visiting a dominatrix, meeting another CD/sissy, being with a trans woman, or submitting to a man.

I know how lucky I am to have a partner who’s both sexually open-minded and genuinely encouraging of this side of me. Family always comes first, but from time to time she's cool with me taking a night or two away for these experiences.

We live in a very large metropolitan area on the East Coast, not far from some major conference locations, so there are surely like-minded people to find these things. I would probably prefer to start looking online, since I am looking for a few different things, and am also fairly shy in-person by nature.

What advice do you have for a soon-to-be unretired bi pantyboy?

So my boyfriend and I are talking about getting engaged soon but I’m worried because my boyfriend and I have only had one conversation about his bisexuality. I feel like this is something I want him to feel open about and not feel interrogated, especially because I discovered it on accident.

6 months ago, I had found searches for gay porn and transgender female escorts on his computer he let me borrow. Also lots of MMF threesome porn. He told me he was getting off to the escort website and that most of the posters on that website were pornstars and had content on there (that was true)… he said he’d never cheat on me in a million years and I believe him wholeheartedly.

He said looking up the local escorts made him get off on the fact that they were close to him. He said it added to the fantasy. he said trans women were a bisexual fantasy but one he’d never see himself act out IRL. He also told me he wasn’t interested in being with a man physically IRL. Just all fantasy. He did come out to me as bisexual and told me it was his deepest darkest secret. He seemed very ashamed and cried a lot.

I told him it was okay and we slowly worked through it. It took months for me to stop feeling inadequate and like our relationship was tainted because he was searching for escorts behind my back. Even if he never messaged anyone or booked anyone.

But we haven’t had another conversation about his bisexuality. And we plan to get engaged this year. I want to address it before we get engaged but he is a super traditional “masculine” man from a religious background. I feel like he won’t be willing to talk to me about it. I’m also the only person in his life who knows about this.

Hey guys - new here. But so many questions. I’m coming to terms that I love sex…and I love men as well as women. I’m so in love with my wife it hurts. But I lust so much for cock. Wife has had a small verbal fantasy years ago about me being fucked while she watches…but she’s not ready for my honesty. I’m positive if she knew I’m jerking off to gay porn she’d flip. I guess I’m looking for advice….encouragement…help….