So my boyfriend and I are talking about getting engaged soon but I’m worried because my boyfriend and I have only had one conversation about his bisexuality. I feel like this is something I want him to feel open about and not feel interrogated, especially because I discovered it on accident.
6 months ago, I had found searches for gay porn and transgender female escorts on his computer he let me borrow. Also lots of MMF threesome porn. He told me he was getting off to the escort website and that most of the posters on that website were pornstars and had content on there (that was true)… he said he’d never cheat on me in a million years and I believe him wholeheartedly.
He said looking up the local escorts made him get off on the fact that they were close to him. He said it added to the fantasy. he said trans women were a bisexual fantasy but one he’d never see himself act out IRL. He also told me he wasn’t interested in being with a man physically IRL. Just all fantasy. He did come out to me as bisexual and told me it was his deepest darkest secret. He seemed very ashamed and cried a lot.
I told him it was okay and we slowly worked through it. It took months for me to stop feeling inadequate and like our relationship was tainted because he was searching for escorts behind my back. Even if he never messaged anyone or booked anyone.
But we haven’t had another conversation about his bisexuality. And we plan to get engaged this year. I want to address it before we get engaged but he is a super traditional “masculine” man from a religious background. I feel like he won’t be willing to talk to me about it. I’m also the only person in his life who knows about this.