r/Quakers

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I’ve been attending unprogrammed online meetings for a while, and today something happened that left me feeling quite embarrassed and unsure of myself.

During worship, I took a sip of water from a mug. I have a medical condition that means I need to drink frequently, so it’s second nature to keep water nearby, I didn't even think about it. My microphone was muted, and most people had their eyes closed, so I didn’t think it would disturb anyone. Other than this I was sat still like everyone else.

After the meeting, someone raised, speaking to the whole group, but clearly in reference to me *as only I had done it, that it’s frowned upon to “drink tea” during worship. This turned into a long discussion about how doing so is considered disrespectful. I didn't speak up, or explain myself, I just listened. I was surprised, as I didn’t know there were unwritten etiquette rules about this.

Now I’m feeling a lot of shame and anxiety. I’m autistic, so I often miss unspoken social rules, and I’m worried I’ve done something wrong without realising. I also feel a bit hurt, as the comment felt passive‑aggressive and has left me reluctant to attend again.

Did I actually do something wrong by drinking? Is this really considered disrespectful in Quaker worship? I’d really appreciate some guidance.

Would love to hear from anyone who attended Britain YM last weekend, whether in the flesh or online. This was my first large Quaker gathering and I am a relative newcomer to Friends and it has floored me, in good and not so good ways. Would appreciate reflections on the various sessions and content and how this compares with previous YMs, also how you see Britain Quakers going forward from here vis-a-vis the epistle and so on. For me, and this is my newbie naivete most likely, I was deeply and uncomfortably challenged by the constant use of jargon phraseology: "discernment", "holding in the light", "worship", etc. I appear to be the only person I know who has a mental gag reflex with such wordage, probably due to scarring by evangelical Anglican youth groups I attended [redacted] years ago. Please feel free to say whatever you want in reaction to this, I have no agenda other than to understand myself and Friends better. PS I did kvell with P/pride a bit at our having a new, openly trans clerk ... so unremarkable for British Quakers now but by golly what a journey to get to this far.

I shared this on another post, but I’ve had requests to share it elsewhere. Years ago, my meeting decided to open worship with a statement that would clue visitors into what we are doing. We came up with a pastoral opening that we believe has helped to deepen meeting. We read it every Sunday and have for years. We also added a flow chart to help people discern if and when to speak but we also realize that it may help people to worship.

Here’s the opening text:

(10:35) Welcome to Homewood Friends’ meeting for worship. 
 
If you are in the meeting room, the flow chart on the benches is a tool that we offer that may help you with Quaker worship based in silence. Should you feel moved to offer vocal ministry, the chart may help you in your discernment. If discernment is clear, rise from where you are seated and a mic will be brought to you.  Remember to speak clearly and hold the microphone close to your mouth. After your message, the mic will be picked up and you may sit down.
** **
Allow a period of silence after any previous message.
** **
** **
** **
The Quaker experience is that each of us has a measure of that radically loving spirit which guides us to live justly and peaceably. In worship, we enter into stillness of body and mind in order to feel that spirit of love within and among us, to give ourselves over to it, and to discern what it would have us do.

I'm curious if anyone is familiar with Experiment with Light. It is marketed as Quaker meditation. Website below.

https://experiment-with-light.org.uk/meditations/

Here is an article from a Quaker website

https://www.discoveringquakers.org.uk/blog/experiment-with-light

My brain likes meditation. I practiced vipassana for 15 years or so and during two different periods of life I practiced TM for about five years in total.

Last year I read John in the New Testament per a friend's suggestion and felt connected to Jesus. I come from an atheist Jewish background. The experience of Jesus surprised me, to say the least!

I have since finished the New Testament and restarted it a few months ago, read numerous books on Jesus, prayer, primitive Christianity, mysticism, attended a handful of Quaker meetings online.

I have been doing 10 minutes of centering prayer followed by 10 minutes of Jesus prayer in the morning and 20 minutes of Jesus prayer in the late afternoon. Though both practices feel like meditation, I am searching for a technique and Experiment with Light sounds intriguing. My goal, if that's the correct word, is to feel closer to Jesus and my inner light.

Would love to hear if anyone has practiced or has any experience with it. Thanks!

https://preview.redd.it/mxb93fy5nczg1.jpg?width=4096&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b7891024f89f6c3a3ac21375b658ae05ef41e82c

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I've become intrigued with the Quaker links to Cahir in Tipperary. The Fennell family were the first to arrive in 1659 and became very influential locally in the farming and milling trade. It was my first time visiting the above burial ground and it was quite magical!

I’ve been trying to learn about more religions and the quakers have intrigued me and I have some questions my first question is do you guys believe in Jesus second coming ? And how does your worship service go I heard you guys sit in silence until someone feels like they should speak so do you guys have any church leadership,do you guys do baptism , do you believe your the one true denomination and what are your core beliefs that make you guys different ?

I’m interested in doing a textual study of Quakerism and its various emphases during the 19th century. I’ve read Friends For 300 years and that helped a lot. Thank you!

I've attended my local unprogrammed Quaker meeting off and on for about nine years now, after leaving mormonism. For many years I had no desire to join any religion, but lately I have been feeling differently. I want to be more serious about joining my meeting. I know I should talk to the clerk, but I was wondering about general advice, if you have any reading you consider to be essential before joining a meeting, etc? I am working full time and in school full time, so my attendance will not be 100%, but I'd like to be progressing.

I am non theistic and greatly moved by Jesus, but not a Christian. I don't anticipate either of those being a problem in my meeting, but wanted to add for context.

Outdoor labyrinth in a public park in San Francisco

Hi Friends. Have any of you used labyrinths as part of your personal or corporate meditation practice? I’ve recently discovered that walking a labyrinth (or tracing a finger labyrinth) has helped me to center down and experience the Inner Light in ways that I had not anticipated.

I’ve always been a peripatetic person, often needing to pace around the room when trying to work through a problem or explore different options. So walking while meditating felt pretty natural. And fortunately I live close to several publicly accessible labyrinths.

Having a physical path to follow, a center to aim for, and a place to return to the “real world” has helped me to feel more at peace and even uncover answers to issues that have been bothering me. If you have never walked a labyrinth before, I highly encourage you to check it out. And if you have, I would be curious what your experience was.

You can find a labyrinth near you by going to https://labyrinthlocator.org/ .

I started attending a Quaker meeting last autumn. I’ve quicky become part of the community and find great joy, connection, and faith in both the silence and in the fellowship of our meeting.

My brother is a Catholic Jesuit priest. For the past six months, I avoided telling him that I was attending Quaker meetings. (It helped that he was in residential treatment during part of this time for some of his own mental health concerns.)

I finally told him a few weeks ago. His immediate response was, “I hope you enjoy hell.” I said, “I hope you don’t believe that,” and after a brief pause he replied, “I don’t, but I’m not God.”

We didn’t talk about that conversation again for a couple of weeks, until this past weekend when I visited him.

When I saw him this weekend, he acted like nothing had happened. At one point I brought up the Quakers, and he told me that one of his priest friends now calls me “Quaker,” and that he “cannot believe” I would “forsake the faith of our fathers.” After that, I decided not to bring up Quakerism again during the visit.

I would rather not hide such a growing and meaningful part of my life from him, but I don’t know what to do. I also don’t want to disconnect from him, though his treatment of me throughout my life is a frequent topic in my therapy sessions.

My meeting has a time for “hopes, joys, and concerns” at the end of worship. I’m thinking of bringing this up, but I’d also really appreciate any advice or recommendations.

Hi Friends!

I’ve been thinking recently about what the Light *says*, the forms it takes, the way it communicates. More concisely, I’ve been thinking about how the messages we receive from the Light are inextricably interconnected with our own experiences and, more concerningly, our roles of power, our class positionings, our experience of certain social and economic structures, et cetera.

I think many of us have a tendency to think of the Light as a singular divine “voice from nowhere”, so to speak. It’s something neutral and infinitely clarifying. For many Friends, this seems to be a central point and almost *the* point of the Light — it serves as something that literally guides us through these situations. However, epistemologically and metaphysically, I just find the idea that the Light’s communication is fundamentally relatively neutral to be incredibly problematic.

I guess I say all this to say that even as a Christ-centered Friend, I think my communion with, and interpretation of, the Light, is something subject to distortion and power purely via that act of interpretation. When I interpret, I (consciously or subconsciously) project my experiences, my biases, my beliefs onto that — it might be even more problematic, because if the Light truly is something immanent within me, that is both me as myself and that of God within me, than those biases are present in the observation and communication with/from the Light to begin with. It is the origin.

I wonder if any of you have thought about this or have any thoughts on this. I view this not as all as a challenge to my faith and status as a Friend but as a genuinely edifying problem that deepens my views profoundly.

I am a 26 year old male from Sweden. I did not have the greatest start being born. Father left early, no father figure, incredible anger over this as a child, was unruly in school. High-school years were filled with drugs, alcohol and chaos.

Was put in closed psychiatric ward soon after finishing high-school. Put on heavy psychatric drugs like olanzapine and venlafaxine to manage my mental state and mood. Discharged, slowly rebuilding my life. Zombie state for 6 years because of the medicine, could not feel a thing. Started exploring christianity a bit, but felt lost.

About 1 year ago, I was home alone one night. Put on a movie, and chose Silence (2016) by Martin Scorsese. Initially I thought it would be interesting to watch a christian movie for once.

The movie captivated me. I felt emotional, a thing I had not felt in years. One of the final scenes where Jesus tells a priest that he is with him and carries his pain broke me. I cried, for the first time in 10 years. I could feel Jesus touch my heart. My soul. I could feel the inner light you spoke of, the love. I felt deeply I was loved.

A couple of months ago I saw a random Quaker meme joking about Quakers being so progressive even in the 18th century. "A random Quaker who is a feminist, anti-slavery, believes in equal rights, loves art and nature"

It resonated with me. Read up about Quakerism and found this subreddit, learned about the concept about inner light. Was chocked, as it perfectly described what I felt on that movie night about a year ago. It also made sense to me to search for god within ourselves, and to not look outwards.

Today I am the happiest I have been in ages. Found a good doctor and is slowly tapering off olanzapine and gaining back my true self, full och love and happiness. This thursday, I am going to attend my first Quaker meeting here in Sweden.

Thanks, friends, for the light, the love.

In March I had a very sudden desire to be a Quaker, like literaly I am sure I want to go to meetings, the values align perfectly with mine, I love the idea of giving a name to this feeling i have of something incredible about this world, the oneness of it all, and doing more to help out.

So, any advice you would have wanted as a new Quaker? (British liberal) I've been doing plenty of research but I'm worried I'm romanticising it somehow, that maybe I won't be welcome or I misunderstood Quakerism or something. I'll only be able to start attending in September since I'll be moving away from my Polish Catholic family... I don't know how to break it to them that I'm a non-Christian Quaker? Or want to be. How does one join anyway... Well anyways, thank you in advance. This is my first reddit post as well!

I've been trying to learn more about Quakerism and have just started attending a woodbrooke course. I'd like to attend a meeting but I'm a little nervous since my previous experience with religion has been attending Anglican services which I found quite isolating.

Is there anything I absolutely need to know before attending?