r/Nonbinaryteens

So for context, I HATE my deadname, but its important to my Grandma, because my mom chose it for me, (my mom passed in 2021), and has said, "I'm not calling you Percy because i don't feel comfortable with it" and started saying how "is your name not 'good enough' and you need a 'better one'?" she supports my identity as a therian and non binary person.... yet got horribly offended when i asked her not to call me by my deadname, because every time someone says it, i can hear it being shouted at me by a person who hurt me, also, it's just not who i am. my grandma doesn't understand that, no, just because im in a safer space DOES NOT MEAN i will automatically heal all my trauma, and now she's freaking upset with me
any advice, im lowkey having an episode

Hi! I'm a german non-binary teen, 17 years old (also new to reddit so i'm sorry if I do something wrong), and I'm currently in a bit of a pickle. I have very supportive parents, and I'm very lucky to have them. Getting to the topic at hand- I'm AFAB, and unfortunately look the part. My face is round with full lips and a tiny nose, my hair is always up in a bun, and my fat distribution (I'm overweight) is quite feminine, as I have the body shape of a triangle (wide hips and thighs.)

I wish to look more androgynous as I'm still being recognized as a girl in public, and I HATE it. Does anybody know of a hormone therapy I could talk to my parents about? I'm already wearing binders, and I want to cut my hair at the start of my summer holidays + start a diet to hopefully get rid of some fat. Advice would be greatly appreciated.

I'm short and thin, and I want to look more masculine, but I don't know how.

My hair is dyed a fantasy color, and I imagine dyeing it black would make me look more masculine, as would growing my eyebrows thick.

I bought my first binder, but it hasn't arrived yet. I hope that with a binder, black hair, etc., I'll look more like a man.

Any other advice? I'm new to this, and I can't think of anything else that could make me look masculine besides the binder and my hair. I really don't know if there's anything else...

I've told some friends to use masculine pronouns with me, and they found it very easy (literally overnight) to change. I don't know if it's because I already look androgynous (and not feminine) or why...

Anyway, I appreciate any advice or tips!! 🤍🤍

Heya,

I've only posted on this group a couple of times but I need advice.

A couple of days ago my mother went through my room and read through my journal without me knowing, since then she has made it pretty clear that she knows about me being non-binary/genderfluid. Every time we are in the same room as me she lectures me on how I need to have my own thoughts and opinions and how I am getting "influenced" by my friends and other "confused people who don't know whether they want to be a Holly or a Harold". She has also said that I should delete all my apps and wipe my phone so I could only ring people, because apparently kids my age are too impressionable and the things we see online convince us we "have to be something we are not". And she keeps saying she's proud of me and that she loves me for "who I am" while purposely emphasising my dead name, to try and convince me that I'm not trans I guess? And she keeps saying I should talk to other people and not limit myself to the friends I have (aka my queer friends).

I don't really know what to do, and now I'm too scared to tell anyone anything or write anything down, or even act 'queer' in any way, shape, or form because I'm scared that it will escalate, and I don't have any way to support myself right now as I am not employed (I am trying tho).

It's really tense between us now and my anxiety seems to go through the roof every time we are alone or she tries to speak to me.

This has also been making me overthink everything and while I know in my heart that I am gender fluid, my mind has now been telling me that's wrong and unnatural and maybe even a little bit stupid. (I would never think like this about anyone else who is trans tho, only about me for some reason.)

Does anyone know how to make this better or how to cope with this situation?

Any advice or comments are helpful and appreciated 🙏💜