Grandparents got offended that I don't feel comfortable with my deadname
So for context, I HATE my deadname, but its important to my Grandma, because my mom chose it for me, (my mom passed in 2021), and has said, "I'm not calling you Percy because i don't feel comfortable with it" and started saying how "is your name not 'good enough' and you need a 'better one'?" she supports my identity as a therian and non binary person.... yet got horribly offended when i asked her not to call me by my deadname, because every time someone says it, i can hear it being shouted at me by a person who hurt me, also, it's just not who i am. my grandma doesn't understand that, no, just because im in a safer space DOES NOT MEAN i will automatically heal all my trauma, and now she's freaking upset with me
any advice, im lowkey having an episode