r/LifeAfterSchool

Adulting is realizing that choosing an unconventional life doesn’t mean you chose the wrong one just because hard things eventually arrive.

I’m 38. I chose to marry someone 22 years older than me. And right now that means helping walk a 94 year old through the end of her life while many people my age are in completely different seasons.

And despite how heartbreaking and exhausting this experience is, I keep finding myself thinking: my love is worth it.

This season has stripped away a lot of black-and-white thinking for me. About relationships. About aging. About control. About God, the universe, meaning, suffering, all of it. I don’t fit neatly inside one definition anymore, and honestly, maybe part of growing up is accepting that life is far grayer and stranger than we were promised.

Not hopeless. Just… real.

Because choosing someone is not choosing a shiny object or a perfectly curated future. It’s choosing the person you want beside you when life becomes deeply human. When bodies fail. When grief enters the room. When plans change. When you’re exhausted and scared and still trying to love each other well through it.

And strangely, this experience has strengthened my bond with my partner more than easy times ever could.

I wish no one had to go through decline and loss like this. But adulting, at least for me, is becoming less about constantly wishing reality were different and more about learning how to fully live inside the reality that’s here.

To love anyway.
To stay anyway.
To find meaning anyway.

I’m F17 and I’m turning 18 next month and I still haven’t gotten a job and I need advice! I have previously done some volunteering in a small shop in school for work experience - in total about 4ish months but apart from that I’ve done nothing. I have no experience and im worried about my future however I feel like I’m really restricted as where I live is extremely rural and there is no shops no paths no transport. Just one bus that comes ever 3-4hrs (if it even decides to come at all)the only way I could get a job is if I had a car. But I need a job for driving lessons and a car etc because I have no money and can’t afford it. I feel so stuck and I feel like I have no options at all.

I’m currently in my second year of colllege (uk) and I’m on the verge of being kicked out because my attendance is so low but it’s mainly because the bus rarely comes. I’m also retaking my maths GCSE which is mandatory in order for me to get any job and because of where I live I can’t get to college and study or even take the exams. I really don’t know what to do.

I was thinking about working remotely however I have no experience and I feel like they wouldn’t hire me -also I don’t know what remote job to go for.And also Id like a physical/in person job because I think it might not look as good on my CV and also i know its important for me to socialise so having an in person job would be important especially because I have no friends now.but I feel like that isn’t an option for me especially because of where I live. It’s so depressing living here. I haven’t been able to experience normal teenage because I live so rurally. I really need advice on what I should do as I really need a job!

Edit: also I cannot get a job after college (I must mention in England college is NOT university.in England we go to college when we’re usually 16-18 then we go to university when we’re 18+) the reason for this is because the bus only comes every like 3-4hrs and the last bus comes at 5pm and I finish at 4pm and I have to get another bus to get to that bus stop so there is no way I’d be able to get home if I had to work.

I am 18m and about to graduate highschool and am enrolled in the south dakota state university. I live on my families farm and am planning to come back and run it after a couple years. I have always had horses and liked to ride and do things with them. But I have had this urge for the last year to pursue my dream of becoming a true “cowboy” and my dream to become a horse trainer. My family does kind of know about this but they haven’t really supported it. I recently have been reaching out to Ranch’s across the country looking for a solid job, and I finally found one in South Eastern Colorado that would take a chance on me. It’s a real opportunity that would give me real life experience in the field I want to thrive in. I know I am an 18 year old but if I do this without my families permission I could jeopardize my future on the farm. Any advice?

I know there are so many posts about this already in this subreddit, but I really need advice. I graduate in two days and I am taking a gap year before pursing a professional degree. My friends are all a year ahead of me so they have already graduated and live about 2 hours away and have full time jobs, so we don’t see each other very often. We all see one another at most once a month or every two months. However, I’ve started to realize how much less I’m seeing them and how much less we text each other. I’m not perfect and I have been busy too so I haven’t been calling as much, but I have always made an effort to text in our group chat and chat with everybody. Nowadays, nobody responds to me and when they do, it’s only one of my friends who I FaceTime once a month when she’s not busy with her partner or her job. Yesterday, two friends texted the chat saying it was dead and for it to rest in peace. I don’t disagree that it isn’t as active anymore, but it is just very sad. I feel like I am losing my friendships now that everyone is entering a new stage of life, and it’s making me feel very lonely and lost. If anyone has any advice on what I can do or any support, I would really appreciate it.

i feel like im at a plateau in life right now. just finished my first year of college at UT Austin, but career-wise, I am literally the most lost I have ever been. started as a computer science major, wanted to switch into business so tried to internally transfer but its extremely competitive and my GPA after finishing the year is not even competitive anymore so i have kind of lost hope in it practically speaking. But mentally, i am not doing well at all. i ended up being so burnt out and it showed in my classes, I was extremely stressed and didnt realize i wasn't managing my stress and i ended up breaking down towards the very end of the semester.

i am writing this because i want to regain myself mentally and eventually other areas of my life. Where can I start to first get myself mentally "stable" because everyday i think about the flaws I have from things i have noticed friends have said to me in the past semester or just things i notivced have changed about myself and want to be better. then theres also career wise idk what i want to pursue at this point, i have interest in business, but no idea what sector of business.

So considering everything, i am looking for some viable leads into making myself better mentally, physically and professionally. what resources can I use to get started and such

Hi. I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and I feel like I’m missing something fundamental about life.
I’m 21 (almost 22). I chose not to go to university and started building my own path early. At 18 I opened a small shop, and last year I invested in a gastrobar. Now I manage both.
My life is very full in terms of responsibility. I work every day, manage people, deal with financial pressure, and I’m constantly trying to build something meaningful for my future.
I don’t hate it. I actually enjoy creating, I like feeling capable, and I understand that effort and sacrifice are part of building something real.
But at the same time, I keep asking myself:
When does it start to feel like I’m actually living?
My days are structured around work from morning to night. I try to take care of myself, stay positive, romanticize small moments, stay grounded spiritually… and sometimes that helps.
But other times, it just feels like I’m constantly “doing”, without really feeling connected to my own life.
Last year I traveled solo for 3 months in Asia, and that was the first time I felt truly present and alive. Now I’m back, and even though I’m building something meaningful, I don’t always feel that same sense of being in my life.
There’s also another layer to this.
Right after finishing school, I went through depression and anxiety and started therapy. A big part of my early adulthood has been about healing and learning how to be okay.
Because of that, I didn’t really have the typical phase of meeting lots of people or building a social circle.
I’ve tried to change that. I’ve made real efforts to meet people, go out, connect… but it hasn’t really worked. Not because I’m closed off, but because after everything I’ve worked through, I’m looking for something genuine and aligned.
And it just hasn’t appeared yet.
I understand that meaningful connections take time, and I’m okay with that in theory. But in reality, when you’re carrying a lot of responsibility and there’s no one to really share it with, it can feel heavy.
Sometimes I see other people surrounded by friends or doing things together, and even if I know those relationships aren’t always deep or healthy, there’s still something there… some kind of shared experience.
And I don’t really have that.
So I find myself in this strange place where:
I’m building a life
I’m growing as a person
I’m doing what I believe is right
But I still feel like I don’t fully understand how to experience it.
Not just happiness, but:
How is life supposed to feel while you’re building it?
Is it normal for it to feel like constant effort, with occasional moments of clarity?
Or am I missing something about how to actually feel present and alive in the process?
I’m not trying to escape my life. I want to build something real.
I just don’t know how to feel like I’m truly living it… especially while doing it mostly on my own.
I’d really appreciate hearing different perspectives.

As mentioned in previous threads, I decided to go back to graduate school as part of a career change. Assuming everything goes to plan, I should complete my second master's degree in June.

One thing I missed about college was the huge number of events. Even though we graduate students tend to have less free time, there is still so much to do on campus. I often see student organization meetings, socials and seminars even during "slow" days. It seems are even more events here than at my undergraduate alma mater. I'm certainly a little sad to leave all this and my new friends behind in six weeks.

But at the same time, school isn't all sunshine and rainbows. There are few things more stressful than a final exam worth 50% of the course grade or having four papers due in a one-week period. Part of me wants to graduate and get this over with ASAP. I would also rather collect paychecks than pay expensive tuition.

At this time, I haven't fully decided whether to continue my job search or apply for a Ph.D. program. I know a doctoral degree will increase my chance of getting a job I really like, not to mention that I'll get to continue to enjoy the academic life. However, a Ph.D. is a huge commitment that could take several years, and I'm not 100% sure this is the path I want for the future.

Can anyone else relate to this?