r/Kashmiri

Yi chan discussion kihin. Yi chi su line yus already chakh cross kermacx.

Deen, imaan, te personal opinion about relationship thayiukh sides.

 What is happening in front of us is not “preference” or “choice.” It is adults, in positions of authority, getting involved with minors. Yi chi exploitation. Ti chi abuse.

For a long time, many of us brushed these things off as rumors. Stories passed around, things we weren’t sure about. But that phase is over. There is too much being seen, too much being shared: proofs, recordings, chats. Whether every single case is true or not no longer matters. The pattern is real, and it is growing.

A 15-year-old being involved with a 30+ adult is not a “relationship.” It is manipulation. A minor cannot consent. A teacher, a coordinator, anyone in a position of influence knows exactly what they are doing when they cross that line.

And the most dangerous part? Silence. Normalization. Looking the other way because it’s uncomfortable to confront.

This cannot continue.

If you are seeing this, hearing this, or being told about this, yi me kariu ignore. Do not reduce it to gossip. Do not let it pass as “just another story.” Every time it is ignored, it enables the next incident.

Ne chi discussion krun. Ne chi vin passively concern hawun.

Call it out. Stand against it. Refuse to normalize it.

Because if this continues unchecked, then whatever can still be protected today will not be there tomorrow.

Assalamu Alaikum,

I am seeking sincere advice regarding my situation. I have been in a secret nikah with my husband for over a year now. My family is aware of our marriage, but his family does not know anything about me.

From the beginning, he told me he would inform his parents when the time was right, but that has still not happened. He is financially dependent on them as a student, and he fears that if they find out, they may cut him off or even disown him. Because of this fear, he has continued to delay telling them.

We live together, and I do everything I can to support our relationship. He wants to go back to Kashmir without anyone knowing about my existence. I completely understand and sympathize with that, but what is deeply hurting me is that he still refuses to even mention me to his family. When I asked him to at least say my name or acknowledge that he is already married, he said he is not ready and instead tells them that he is “thinking about marriage.”

This has been extremely difficult for me. I feel like I am his wife, yet I am hidden and unacknowledged. It has started to affect my mental health to the point where I am struggling to function in my daily life.

From his perspective, he says he agreed to a secret nikah because he did not want to lose me, and he tries to support me financially as much as he can while managing his studies. He insists that he wants to do another nikah in front of his family in the future, but he is very afraid of their reaction right now.

I am feeling lost and unsure of what to do. Is it reasonable for me to expect him to tell his family now? How long is too long to remain in a situation like this? Any sincere advice would be appreciated. Is it true that his parents would cut him off?

JazakAllah Khair.

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