r/JustNoCoworker

Okay, some of you may have seen my previous (now deleted post) about my coworker who is double my age (50 M, 25 F).

Now, this guy has been kind of flirtatious with me, and asked me to a one-on-one lunch. And I can’t lie, I am into him. He’s nice, he’s funny, he’s very similar to myself in many ways— but the most likely scenario is that he just enjoys flirting with the (not to be presumptuous but) hot young thing at work.

The thing is, the whole one-on-one lunch thing really gave me vibes that he might genuinely be into me. He was acting nervous when he’s usually a very social, charismatic guy. He invited me when no one else was around. He also misheard me say “so and so recommended that place” and was immediately like “so and so is coming too?” and as we were walking to our cars he went dead silent when my other coworker crossed our paths. He only confirmed that we were meeting as he drove past my car and rolled down the window.

Then, during the actual lunch, he asked me if my sister’s husband was older than her (?) and the conversation veered closer to “what are you like as a person” than “what are you like as a coworker.”

I definitely was not sure about the vibes so the day after, when he made two excuses to talk to me, I was rather cold/not open. However I turned it around and initiated conversation.

After that we’ve had numerous flirty exchanges where he will come into my room and chat, play with his hair, and avoid any actual work related topic like the plague. He called me a “good stepmother” once and then said we were like a divorced couple bc I have to move my room next year.

Also, he had a broken ankle for a while and could not stand for long periods. However, when I went to ask for an extra screw for my broken tables, he hobbled all the way across campus for a screwdriver thing and fixed all my tables for me. And winked at me or whatever.

This week I saw him clearly check me out as I walked over to him and his friend. He popped into a room I was having a meeting in to make a funny quip. He came and lingered in my classroom without even greeting me (I’m a teacher) but he just came in to talk to and inquire what my kids were doing. Then, after I told him how tired I was at the end of the day, he asked “why, did you have a date last night?” And I’ve caught him staring at me/mirroring my posture a few times.

The thing is: he does not act nearly as flirty or personal in open social contexts. For instance, in the lunchroom or at after school events.

I just have to wonder if this thing exists only in convenient passing moments, and he doesn’t care about me otherwise, or if he’s worried about the professional or personal implications of us hanging around each other in front of others.

Idk. Maybe he likes the attention. But I can’t say that I was the one to initiate all of this. And I hardly throw myself at him.

Thoughts? I’m very confused.

Update from today: danced by my classroom this morning bc we were doing a song. made the kids laugh.

Later, I was walking by his room and he said “why don’t you tell ms. ____ what you said, let’s see what she says” and had me come do a funny bit to tell off a kid.

Female 21 . I work at tesla gigafactory in Cali we have very strict policies here .I have a coworker who i’m partnered with to do certain roles at work . She comes in late each day makes up wild excuses to are boss in order to keep herself from getting attendance points .I totally understand who wouldn’t if it comes down to keeping there job , but it’s got to point where it’s becoming excessive she abusing her privileges. She recently told me that she been txting the boss to clock in her even when she still at home . Our policy is if you don’t have your badge that physically clocks you in you have to take a live photo of the time clock to prove you’re actually there . She’s even asked me before to take pictures of the clock for her but i’ve always declined . So now she gets away but just texting the boss to clock her in wich he does without even asking for a picture wich possibly could risk his job too .We both have grown close so i don’t want to get it her trouble . but when i asked her why she continues to do these things her response was “she feels God has more in store for she shouldn’t have to work , this lifestyle isn’t it “. I personally don’t respect that view of life and feel she just an abusing being a privileged employee . I also feel it should be equality at the workplace meaning everyone abide by equal rules . Don’t know how i should go about things if i should report or just worry about my damn self and move along and not consider her as potential friend.

I have a coworker been friend for years lately seems like more. With the weather changing she always wears dresses..every time she come in and chat she sits in chair facing me and always fixes her dress... but I feel like she does this to see if I look and get my reaction.

I accidentally hit her shoe while I was walking, i was in a rush to head to break as we only get 30 minutes of break so I wanted to have enough time to eat. I accidentally hit her shoe with my shoe… she hits me a few times and demands I apologize. This happened in front of everyone and no one said a thing. I feel sad.

After that she playfully grabbed her hands and held them around my neck as if she was going to strangle me.

This is a temp agency job and i really don’t want to lose it. I’m afraid that if I report this problem the company will let me go. I was told by one of the leads there that they let people go for very little things even as simple as reporting something missing or stolen, because they don’t want to deal with drama… so I’m afraid to report it.

I have the time that it happened documented, and potential witnesses.

I regret not punching this lady in the face. But I didn’t wanna lose my job, I pay rent every month and this is just stressful. What steps can I take to ensure that I am safe at work and not harassed? I been thinking of bringing my own personal weapon and keeping it in my car just in case. Any advice appreciated.

I need a neutral outside perspective because I feel like I’m overanalyzing this.

I (25F) work at a school and there’s an older coworker (50M). A few weeks ago he asked me to grab lunch one-on-one, didn’t invite anyone else even though we ran into other coworkers on the way out. I thought that was weird but not crazy. Then during lunch the conversation was a little more personal than I expected (asking about my life, relationships, if my sister was married to an older man?)

The day after, he went out of his way to interact with me. He timed it so we’d cross paths on my way in during the morning to give me a book rec, he came into my room to ask for supplies, asked me what time lunch is (even tho he’s worked there far longer than me??).

EDIT: I acted a bit standoffish after that bc I just wasn’t sure what was up with it (maybe he was just sussing me out as a new coworker) so he backed off for a while. Then one day I went and basically had a breakdown about how stressed and anxious I had been feeling about work etc… (not my finest moment)

Last week he came to help me fix some broken tables in my classroom (he has a broken ankle and still hobbled across campus to get tools and came back), and winked at me when he finished.

There have also been a few flirty moments, like when out of the blue he used my full name (which no one at work uses, not sure how he even found it out), and another time he joked that I was a “good stepmother” to some of his students I helped with. At one point he basically called me his work wife bc he said “it’s like we’re getting divorced” to the news we’d be moving rooms next year.

I can’t tell if:

He is just being friendly and I’m reading too much into it

He’s just a naturally flirty/personable person

He’s testing the waters

UPDATE: I said I wasn’t trying to pursue anything but that was actually a lie. I’m into him.

Would appreciate honest takes and I hope to god he doesn’t use Reddit

I need to get this off my chest because it’s been on my mind a lot.

I’ve developed feelings for my manager. It started as simple respect and admiration, but over time it became something deeper. I feel emotionally connected, and I can’t ignore that there’s also a strong physical attraction there. That part honestly makes me feel conflicted and a bit guilty.

To make things more complicated, she’s married… and I’m fully aware of that. I have no intention of crossing any boundaries or acting on these feelings. I respect her, her life, and the professional space we’re in.

But at the same time, I can’t deny what I feel. It’s like my mind understands the situation clearly, but my emotions don’t always follow logic.

I’m also dealing with feelings for someone else, which just adds to the confusion.

I guess I’m trying to understand—
Is this something that just happens or sometimes?
How do you deal with attraction like this without letting it affect your actions or work?

Would really appreciate honest advice.

(LONG) Hey everyone, I work as a WHS specialist (I know I’m sorry) at a DS and I just got a new coworker recently. At a DS, we are responsible for incidents, injuries, contractor compliance, environmental compliance, etc. there’s a lot to do here if you just go looking for it. However, my new coworker doesn’t want to do S H I T.
I understand wanting an easy job, but they’re eating into my OT hours sitting there on their phone all. Day. Like I mean 6 hours out of the 8 hour shift they’re on their phone. The AAs here have been calling them “desk safety” because they NEVER leave the desk. I have tried explaining the importance of the job, taking them with me on walks and pointing out areas that need help, showing them where things are, and STILL decides to sit at the desk on their phone all DAY.
We do not have higher management for WHS on site so it’s hard to show them that they’re doing nothing and I feel terrible being a snitch but they’re eating in my hours/OT hours and adding more onto my workload throughout the day.
This new coworker also took 4 WEEKS to do online trainings… and remembers nothing from them because they were on their phone and clicking next. I feel like I shouldn’t care because it’s not my place but it’s also adding more stress on me and causing issues with AAs thinking I also do nothing throughout the day (which is not true, I try to be out and visible almost the entire shift). My philosophy is that it’s unfair that the AAs and AMs are working their asses off and my coworker is just sitting there mocking them on their phone.
Any advice would be lovely.

TLDR; My new coworker is lazy af and wants to just sit on their phone, taking my OT hours doing nothing and I don’t know what to do.

i’m 25F) and idk his age but he’s 26-35

I’ve been at this job for a year and a half and I only know a couple people there bc i’m somewhat introverted and don’t really interact with anyone. However this coworker and I work in the same building and we’ve been on this project since December, I would always see him second glance me or just watch what i’m doing but refuse to even acknowledge me? But recently while doing the project I decided to make conversation with the group he was in and when i spoke he physically placed his lips together in cringe/smile and i saw him turn a bit red and didn’t say anything? but when the others would speak he would talk normally and laugh with them?

I’ve never really thought of him but this was just bothering me.

So for the rest of this week I tried to act as normal and friendly as possible without overthinking things. I didn’t go out of my way to avoid him, but I also didn’t push for interaction. We did however have a few times when we crossed paths and he made a conscious effort to engage in a humorous way with me it seems, or once when he complimented a pair of shoes for the second time.

By the end of the day today, I decided to just go into his room and imitate a conversation with him myself—just casual, asking how his classes were. He immediately reciprocated but focused more on how my week was rather than answering my question. And a part of me feels like it was fully in a mentor-y way.

He also mentioned a school event that he thought I should go to make a good impression but didn’t say anything about him being there too/us spending time together there.

Then he got up and started collecting some papers from the table I was leaning against, and I took that as a cue that the convo was over and I should leave.

However, before I could go he asked if I had any weekend plans etc, and since I moved away from him he came around to sit on the table facing me.

That didn’t go anywhere besides me saying I didn’t have much planned and him telling me about his godchild.

Now I’m feeling a bit thrown off because earlier interactions felt more intentional on his end, whereas this felt pretty neutral, even leaning towards “let me just be nice to this poor young girl who is trying to socialize/fit in.”

Idk overall I feel kind of disappointed. But maybe he really does want to play it safe. Who can tell. Maybe I’ll try again closer to the end of the year.