r/FosterAnimals

I just need to vent and I'm pretty sure my family and close friend is over hearing it. I kind of had a mental breakdown last week. I'm talking crying all day everyday for 5 days straight. It has been exhausting. Every time I thought about how I had the chance to say "No", had an opportunity to rescue a different kitten. My kids missed out on birthday sleepovers (because RW is in all of our scalps and probably still through the house even though kitten is in Iso now and I'm cleaning high touch areas and bedding daily). I feel so guilty for bringing this upon us, and then guilt for feeling regret because it's not the kittens fault.

I have already been given amazing support and practical tips I've been using to help with the burden of cleaning, plus a couple of good links to websites with info on RW But everything is aimed at spots on the cats and on people's body. I feel so alone and helpless that it is in our hair and the treatment is so much harder. I'm starting my 6th week of oral meds and my head is still itchy with new spots so I think I need a different medication (which feels like I've wasted so much time on the one I'm on).

Anyway after a week of no tears, I've been getting emotional and crying again today after my heads been itching all morning. And one of my kids head is still red after 3 weeks of oral meds. It just sucks. I've never been so miserable in my life and I've been through some crap.

Pictures for the cat tax. His RW on head is doing so much better, there are new spots at the base and tips of his ears but you can't see on the pics

Back Story: 9 week old female Siamese kitten (born 2-5-26) who was part of a litter of 4, including Mama Kitty. Mama Kitty approximately 1.5 years old. Total of 5 cats in the beginning. I fostered them for a local rescue organization. My first and last time fostering. Kittens were 3 days old when I brought them home. Mama Kitty was a stray and had undiagnosed coccidia before I brought the family home. I paid for Mama Kitty’s vet bills and coccidia medication (Albon) with my own money. Could not afford to pay for all 4 kittens at my vet, so the rescue gave me Toltrazuril to treat the kittens. 2 kittens died at age 2 weeks despite coccidia treatment and I did take them to the vet for additional care. There are now 2 surviving kittens, a boy and a girl. I have since learned from my vet that Toltrazuril is NOT their drug of choice for coccidia but that is all the rescue had. The rescue told me that Toltrazuril is very strong for young kittens but they had to weigh risks vs. benefits in giving it. I have officially adopted Mama Kitty, Girl Kitten, and her brother Boy Kitten. I am now a FOSTER FAIL.

Girl Kitten was the runt. She has struggled to gain weight since Day One. If anyone was going to die, I thought it would be her. Vet called her a “Low Performing” or “Slow Performing” kitten. She is significantly physically smaller and cognitively slower than her brother. Boy Kitten has done great. Mama Kitty is doing great. All have negative stool specimens and all have been de-wormed and caught up with vaccines except for rabies….rabies vaccine still pending. Both kittens are pretty much weaned now, although they do try to nurse if Mama Kitty will let them. She shuts them down pretty quickly. Boy Kitten took to the litter box quickly. Girl Kitten still struggles to know when and where to go. I have to help her sometimes to go to the litter box….she forgets where it is sometimes or sometimes doesn’t realize that she needs to go. There appears to be a disconnect between her brain and her bowels/bladder. Bless her! She is “special needs.” But she is slowly coming along.

About 3 weeks ago, Girl Kitten started vomiting after meals and I also noticed that sometimes it would be 4 days in between poops for her, so also dealing with some constipation. Sometimes Girl Kitten vomits 1-2x/day. She is still active, playful and alert with a voracious appetite. She eats fast! Most of the time she doesn’t act like she feels bad. Because of her small size, she has a hard time keeping up with her Mama and her brother and takes more frequent rest breaks. I have taken Girl Kitten to my vet 3x. The vet office probably thinks I’m a Crazy Cat Lady! Vet has made some dietary changes for her. I have to feed Girl Kitten separately from Mama Kitty and Boy Kitten. Mama Kitty and brother are doing fine on Fancy Feast wet and dry. Boy Kitten and Mama Kitty also snack on dry kibble. Girl Kitten will NOT eat dry kitten kibble (yet) although she sniffs it and observes the others eating it.

In a nutshell, this is what we have tried and not tried so far for Girl Kitten after 3 vet visits:

1. Stool specimens tested. Negative

2. De-wormed Girl Kitten 3x so far. Mama Kitty and Boy Kitten have been de-wormed 2x.

3. Vet changed Girl Kitten’s diet to Hills Sensitive Stomach and Skin Kitten Stew and gave me an Rx for Hills Kitten Sensitive Stomach the prescription kind. Vet thought she might be allergic to chicken and might need a different protein. The protein in the Hills Sensitive Stomach and Skin Kitten Stew is salmon. It is chunky with carrots and potatoes. I have to mash it up for Girl Kitten. I also add a little bit of water.

4. 1/8 tsp of Miralax in a.m. and p.m. This has helped! She is now pooping good solid poops every day or every other day.

5. Sprinkle Fort Flora for Cats probiotics on her food.

6. No labs done. Vet said she is still too small for venipuncture. She weighs 588g today. Yesterday she weighed 602g, but she vomited at lunch time today and just had a good poop. But this has become her pattern….she starts to gain weight, then vomits, and backslides in the weight gain department again. The rescue told me she was underweight and needed to gain. Duh! We are trying here!!

7. No x-rays done to rule out obstruction or physical malformation.

8.Under the Weather Ready Cal Kitten. One pea sized drop mixed in her food every day.

9. I made an appt. with a different vet for Monday for a 2nd opinion. For some reason, I just don’t feel like my vet (whom I love btw) is taking this seriously enough. One of my vet’s partners even told me, “Some cats just vomit a lot. That’s what cats do.”. ( I had a male Siamese cat that was a barfer and he lived 17.5 years but he did not start barfing at 6 weeks old.)

10. Elevated feeding bowl and slow feeder lick mat. We’ve done that. Didn’t seem to make a difference.

11. Vet told me to keep her calm for 30 minutes after she eats. I try but easier said than done with a very active Mama Kitty and Boy Kitten who have no issues.

I would appreciate any advice and suggestions that might help my sweet little Girl Kitten. Thank you!

Update on my past post: https://www.reddit.com/r/FosterAnimals/comments/1s4dyut/heartbroken_over_fostering_turning_into_possible/

First of all, thank you every single one for all your advices and words in what was a difficult situation to be in. Kirby stopped coughing within 1 week into her new medication, and her resting breath rate which had usually sat at 60 a minute, was down to 32-40.

So I was hopeful when I brought her in, and was sure to tell all about her progress and improvements from my POV. I also took the advice I got and asked the shelter personal if the 2 week limit was based on shelter finances rather than medical. I also offered and suggested that I would be able to personally fund further medication and tests if needed but was assured it wouldn't be as it wasn't about cost.

But destiny would have it the following morning, that despite the improvements I had seen that the new x-ray of her lungs showed no improvement and they decided to euthanize her.

It was on Wednesday and I have been broken ever since, hence the time it has taken to make this update. I am full of self blame on the outcome and regret. I keep thinking I should not only have offered to sponsor but specifically have told them that IF they were going to euthanize her they should have called me first so I could have had a chance to adopt her. While I'm not in a situation to permanently adopt, I could at least have given her a longer chance and passed her on if she got better. But I didn't and I am not sure how to live with myself, and I am so terribly sorry to the tiny creature that trusted me after her previous owner failed her.

I had fostered twice before (mom and kittens) and saying goodbye was tough and sad, but this is hurting at another level.

Hope came to me two months ago. She is blind, and has a mild case of Cerebellar Hypoplasia (wobbly cat syndrome). We don’t know much about her history, but just that it had been a rough 2 years of life for her.

She was loving from Day 1, and extremely grateful and happy about having a safe space while she adjusted to living inside.

A couple visited her last week, and she won them over immediately. Went into their lap, one by one, just laid there as if she knew they are her people now. Gave them kisses, let them pet her belly immediately and just behaved like the amazing kitty she is.

She is getting picked up tomorrow, and I’m going to miss her dearly.

I posted yesterday about a 10 month old nursing momma whose kittens were losing weight. We have had a lot more realizations since the post.

First one: Bottle fed the babies with KMR and momma went CRAZY for the milk. We have been giving her some kmr on a plate since and we have now become very trustable humans. She is cuddling and letting us hold her.

2: After watching the camera footage from their space, she is only stimulating 1 or 2 (at most) kittens per feeding. We have started assisting with stimulating a few times a day and now all kittens have gained 15 or more grams of weight in the last 24 hours.

3. Since mom has become more trusting, we were able to weigh her and she only weighs 6lbs. So definitely makes sense she might have some trouble with milk production.

4. I’ve felt a bump on mom’s side since we got her but she would hiss at me every time I would try to examine it more. Now that she is more comfortable, we have found that it is a pellet from a pellet gun lodged into her side. Someone shot her with a freaking pellet/airsoft gun 😭😭😭. I hate humans. I will be calling the vet first thing in the morning. It seems to be pushing itself out. It’s not oozing or irritated at all. But really explains EVERYTHING.

She's about 2 weeks old. She's the sweetest little creature.

Our babies' vet visit last night went great! Mama and babies are beautiful and healthy. Mama is only probably a couple years old and babies are about 3 weeks at this point.

Mom potentially has earmites so we're ordering her script for earmite meds today and getting more wet food for her and some kibble to transition to.

I'm not sure if she's ever had kibble, honestly. She loves lunch meat and cheese though 😁 I think that's what people were offering her in the neighborhood she was living in.

I was told that everything I'm doing for them and how I'm going about it is perfect and that we're hitting every milestone we need to be.

Everyone is constantly toddling around when they're awake and we have all but one with eyes and ears fully open. We've had a couple feeble attempts at playtime, as well.

Their little needle teeth are just starting to peek through their gums, which means weaning them off of milk and onto kitten wet food begins tomorrow.

Today I'm going to start slow introductions starting with one baby at a time in our bathroom. It's just going to be me, mom, and the babies at home during the day again, so the perfect opportunity to go at her pace, have some bonding with her, and allow for some bonding between her and babies.

My partner was able to put his hand in the live trap with Mama to pull her food bowl out to give her breakfast. She hissed and moved to the back of the trap, but didn't swat at him. I have a feeling all will be well once I get her out of the live trap and closer to the babies.

She felt comfortable enough during the babies' late night feeding last night to groom herself in front of me, and I was able to get a good look at her teats, and she is definitely our mama.

The receptionist/techs/vet were pleasantly surprised at the amount of detailed notes I've been taking and we were repeatedly praised on how well we're caring for them.

The tech told mama that she hit the jackpot with who found her and her babies, but truthfully I was at a point where I really needed some babies to fall into my lap, so it worked out for everyone.

We've been socializing them and I massage their toe beans and their ears and tails to get them used to being handled for future vet visits and regular care.

I will continue making posts as they grow and their individual personalities start showing, so stay tuned! 🐱

(*All of these pictures are from yesterday afternoon and this morning*)

Just the title. I'm so happy!

today I dropped off one of my kittens to her new home. I feel so heartbroken. If anyone remembers little Frodo, this is his sister. I got these kittens at 6 days old, and I did everything for them. For the past few months they have been my babies and my joy. The 2 hourly feedings, the vet visits, the awful health scares, the medication, the milestones, the weaning and litterbox training, I did it all with them, and experienced a lot of learning as I went. While I technically was not working with a foster/rescue organisation, these kittens came from a feral mumma, I tried to view it as exactly the same as fostering, because I knew I could not keep them all and one day I want to foster legitimately, and even open my own cat rescue (oneee day). If I had different circumstances, Id have kept them all in a heartbeat.

I could not stop myself from loving them so much though, and I dont think anyone in my life could understand it. The night feedings with all of us tucked up in our nest, the absolute joy and tender love of feeding my tiny tiny purring kittens while the whole world around us sleeps. I was their whole world. I took them to work with me, on the train, to people's houses. Their carrier was basically my womb! I kept it so warm and dark, my little pile of snoozing babies, and they were the most precious things to me. Watching them grow into proper little kittens (little terrors) has been one of the most special things Ive ever experienced. I think Im pretty good at this too, and if I could do it for the rest of my life, Id be happy.

But giving away my little female kitten today has been conflicting to the maximum. I know I had to do it, and Im so so happy that I found the perfect home where she will be loved for the rest of her days, but I am sad. She has not spent a single minute away from her two brothers, they played together and slept together and ate together all day long every day. Im heartbroken to know she had no idea this was her last day with us all, and that now my little girl is all alone in a big house, without her brothers to sleep with tonight. I gave the family the heatpack they still sleep on, and the blankets too, so she can have some familiar smells at night.

I know it was the right choice, this journey has been incredible and special beyond anything and I just love those little kittens with all my heart. and Im sad to say goodbye. I will feel better soon I hope. I must get better at this if I want to keep doing it! so many neonatal kittens that not many people can devote the time and attention to, I want to do it.

I will miss her! lord help me when I have to send the other boy off. although I have plenty more time with him yet.