r/ConvertingtoJudaism

Hello,

I’m currently a PhD student (F23) at the start of my conversion journey. We have a small community in my university town, but no synagogue so I have to wait for a formal conversion. I’m still deciding between masorti and orthodox, and I’m hoping for some insight from either side.

A bit of personal information, I was taken away from my family by social services in 2020, and haven’t had contact with them in 6 years. As a result, I’ve found mentors and guidance throughout my life in other people, most of them being men. The thing that’s currently stopping me from the conversion to modern orthodoxy is the gender separation for this reason. I cannot imagine spending the rest of my life without being able to hug or even touch my mentors, especially since they acted as surrogate parents. Most of my friends are also men, and I’ll be entering an incredibly male dominated field for my career. I cannot imagine not celebrating with the men in my life on my wedding day, and having to dance on the women’s side, which not only would not include my mentors but also highlight the hole in my life of not having female family members around to celebrate me.

I know this sounds really ‘pick me’ but due to my primary abusers being women and being bullied in school, I’ve always found it hard to make longterm female relationships. These relationships would to become the centre of my life if I choose the conversion via orthodox, and even with 6 years of intense therapy, the situation hasn’t really changed. It works the same way really as to why women don’t trust men after a bad experience, except I’m also a woman. Of course, the orthodox conversion comes with its perks and is theologically more aligned with my beliefs, but I just don’t know if I can spend a lifetime without other close relationships with men other than my future husband.

Did anyone else have a similar issue to this? How did they navigate it? I keep bouncing between modern orthodox and conservative and I really don’t know what to do. The chaplain at my university offers some guidance but it would be good to hear from others.

Converts in all religions generally appear to be knowledgeable than those who were born into it. However did any Jewish converts face or experience any negativity surrounding being knowledgeable from born Jews which comes from a place of insecurity?

Hello everyone, I'm an Egyptian Arab looking for a tour guide and a friend to talk to about the Haredi religion and sect in particular. As an Arab, I miss the Jewish community and feel I lack the opportunity to discuss this topic, which is considered taboo in Arab society.

Hi! I’m pretty new to the start of this journey so I was wondering if anyone had advice.

I’ve started reading Choosing a Jewish Life by Anita Diamant but I haven’t finished yet. I’m only a third of the way through but I’m pretty certain I want to convert.

I guess what I want to ask is what the series of steps are that I need to do? I know I need to talk to a rabbi and take some classes and and then “get dipped” (as my friend lovingly calls it lol) and whatnot but is there a particular order I need to do things in? Finish the book before I talk to a rabbi? Talk to a rabbi first? Does it even matter? lol I’m an anxious person so having things spelled out specifically about expectations helps a lot.

I also know there’s a thing about being denied three times and I guess I’m confused about the expectations there, too? I mean. I understand the purpose. But what am I supposed to expect with that?

Thanks!

Converting

I have been seriously considering converting to Judaism.

I have attended a Reform Synagogue near me and have had incredibly positive experiences there.

The rabbi is incredibly dynamic and everyone there has been incredibly welcoming.

I have met quite a few people there who converted for their spouses and marriages and they shared their experiences of conversion with me. It made me feel so at ease and that I would be welcomed there as well if converted.

My concerns are that I was born, baptized, and confirmed Episcopalian and even my first name feels problematic and embarrassing to me (it’s actually Christian… Lol) I just introduce myself as “Chris” when I am there.

To complicate matters further I have been more and more interested in Orthodoxy and more specifically Modern Orthodox, but feel that I would most likely not be accepted if I attempted to pursue that path.

Anyhow, I was hoping for some advice and perhaps people sharing their feelings on conversion and how they feel about converts in their own communities.

I'm Jewish by birth. I used to assume that most people who converted did so because they had exposure to the Jewish community in some way or other. Like say, through a close friend, family member, or neighbor. And then I assumed that they fell in love with the rituals, our way of looking at the world, and just our community.

However, I've now seen a lot of people on this website who don't have any Jewish exposure but feel compelled to convert. Sometimes they even have a lot of misunderstandings about who we are and how we think about religion and our religious texts.

I'm curious whether my original assumptions are correct, and this website is just somewhat misrepresentative (or may only representative of people in the beginning of their conversion journey). Or if there's a lot of people out there who got their first Jewish exposure in the process of their conversion journey.

What was that like?

Last night, I had my first negative experience in a Jewish environment, and I'm feeling shaken up. I'm processing and feeling unsure about what it means. Perspectives, thoughts and support would be welcome.

It was a shiur where there were negative comments about:

• Arab and Druze people.
• Reform.
• Big bang / evolution.
• People who believe in big bang / evolution / scientific theories.
• People who reject or don't follow Kabbalah.
• Other cultural traditions, i.e. a superstition for finding lost things that was connected to Judaism "really works", but an African one was "just voodoo."

I found it intolerant and narrow-minded. I felt like a puzzle piece in the wrong puzzle. Nobody was unkind to me, but I felt really uncomfortable.

Judaism is often celebrated as a religion where debate and challenge is welcome, but this environment felt like it was oriented towards conformity and groupthink. Tbh, it felt culturally similar to the Christianity I left behind, not in terms of the content of beliefs but the way that beliefs were held.

Until now, my experiences with Judaism have been positive and intelligent. I guess I'm afraid that maybe I was wrong, and I'm not a good fit for orthodoxy or Judaism at all. For the first time, I feel mis-aligned and it's frightening because I love Judaism so much.

I want to be serious and observant, but I think critically. I value science. I hate stereotyping or dismissing other people's ways of relating to Gd. Above all else I will not be stereotyping entire ethnic or religious groups.

I was feeling raw and unsettled generally because the day prior, I found a horrifically injured wild animal, and had to take it to a vet to be put down. Relocating is hard, and there have been some big personally difficulties and shocks. I can see those factors amplifying my response by quite a bit, as I was teary and upset before this experience. But I also think that it's a distressing experience anyway, and one I'm having a hard time processing.

Support and perspective would be welcome. Thank you so much.

Would it be appropriate for someone who’s actively seeking to convert to Modern Orthodox Judaism to celebrate the next holiday on the calendar or should I wait until I’m able to talk to a rabbi or until I’ve officially converte?

Just something I thought would be fun to ask for those who have finished their geirut: I know, or at least heard that converts get to decide a Hebrew name for themselves, and if it's not too personal to share, I'd love to know what made you decide on that name? (I guess a bonus follow up is were you set on it long before you met your beit din and realized you could choose, or did you only find the perfect one when your conversion was close to finishing?)

Something I wanna ask for those born into Judaism, too, on their Hebrew names and how did you get yours?

For reference im 17. I’m sure it’ll be obvious that I’m pretty uneducated, and I absolutely plan on researching this more regardless.

i grew up thinking i was jewish on my mothers side. I thought she was nonpracticing jewish, and that my grandma and great grandparents were practicing. She told me we were jewish at a young age and i really did internalize it. I wasnt raised religiously or culturally jewish though. But Only recently she told me her mom, my grandma, was adopted.
My great grandparents were ethnically and religiously jewish. They adopted my grandma and raised her jewish. However she is an abuser and she barely took care of my mom in the first place and so she didn't care to pass it down at all. My mother became Christian by herself as a teenager. I've always felt robbed of being raised religiously/culturally jewish due to that especially since i thought i was jewish by blood and ive always been interested in i guess converting. but my aunt got a dna test and it turns out im not jewish at all bloodwise (at least on my moms side. would be a crazy twist if my dad was jewish Imao)

so I have ethnically and religiously jewish family, and literally grew up thinking I was jewish, just didnt practice the religion or culture (Yet). I have always been interesting in practicing the cultural aspects, although i never thought i could Really get into believing any religion. I seriously could’ve been raised culturally/religiously jewish if my grandma wasn’t an inadequate parent. I guess I'm just confused because it was already complex but now i'm kinda getting fomo or something. Idk. I don't understand why she would tell me that if we aren't. But I dont Know because idk how adoption plays into thus... Is it worth talking to a rabbi about this btw and if so what kind of questions would be good?

So now I literally just dont know if im considered jewish or not and its honestly really distressing me. I know just its complex because its an ethnoreligion but this isnt just ethnically, this is Religiously and culturally as well, but it just. didnt continue. And i would love to pick it back up. I have genuine connections and reasons to do so. But am i considered jewish rn or do i gotta go do all of that… So.. Anything at all helps, Thank you in advance I really, really, really appreciate it.

Hi I wanna know about the conversion options for anti zionists? Like can you cover if you’re anti Zionist and with the 2 state solution?

I have practically no relation to the Jewish people ethnically or religiously. I was raised Christian. But 5 years ago now, I stopped following Christianity, and slowly over time, I opened up to new opportunities. I've always admired Jews. I know that sounds corny, but I really have. Even with everything going on against Jews in this world, especially online and in Israel, they're still here. They still celebrate their holidays and never miss Shabbat. I've never actually met a Jewish person before, but I've studied extensively on the religion, learning everything I can. I know conversion can take YEARS off of your life, but I feel like it'd help me feel so much better about... well, everything. I'm autistic, I have ADHD, as well as anxiety, depression, and chronophobia. The latter stems from my fire and brimstone family. I'm spiritually lost in this cruel and evil world, and I don't have anyone to look up to. I'm about to turn 18 as well and study law. I was thinking about practicing Orthodox Judaism, and I pray I'm accepted. Please give me advice, guys

I have paternal family from Spitalfields and Whitechapel, but my father insisted our heritage was only British and French Huguenots. I had a deep feeling that we had at least one Jewish ancestor. It's hard to explain, I felt compelled to look in a way I've not experienced before. I told him I was doing a DNA test/family tree and he wasn't supportive, which hurt. I did it anyway. And there they were. I don't know much about them, how they practiced or if they were secular, but they gave me a tiny 4% Ashkenazi DNA. I don't think of myself as especially sentimental, and I don't expect this to mean a lot to anyone else. No faces, but they have names. I have 2nd, 3rd, 4th cousins who have higher percentages. Somehow, my line drifted further and further away where others didn't. No replies yet from these relatives, but the feeling was reality. Feels good.

I am early 20s and am beginning my process of converting to Judaism. I sometimes worry that, in addition to being a convert, I will feel like an outsider in certain spaces due to a total lack of Jewish family, including future children and spouse. I do not wish to have kids and I don’t know what my dating life will look like, if I will ever have one. Truthfully, I see myself navigating the rest of my life as a single childless person. Do any other converts relate to this? Can anyone speak to their experiences celebrating Jewish holidays and living a Jewish life as a convert without children or a spouse? Sometimes I get sad thinking about spending holidays and shabbat by myself.

Simply what the title asks, I understand what orthodox requires, I understand what reform requires, but quite frankly im only concerned with what the Bible requires. I understand that orthodoxy largely gets its raison d'être from the Shulchan Aruch and the RamBam's 13 principles of faith, but does that rationale stem from Torah or from somewhere else?

Hope this question makes sense,

thank you,

:).

Would it be considered weird to convert in college? Would other jewish students think of me as an outsider?

My conversion process involved three “semesters” of adult learning courses (Intro to Judaism, Jewish history, Hebrew 1); one “semester” of monthly meetings with my rabbi; about 10 books assigned by the rabbi during my courses and 1:1 study; and roughly two years of regular, active attendance at shul (including semi-regular attendance at onegs, Torah study, services, social events, and festivals).

My final process involved a series of written essays in response to 6-7 prompts covering why I was converting, what I believed about god, how I felt about Israel, how I intended to manage anti-semitism, and so on.

In the conversion process, I visited about a dozen other synagogues in nearby cities or when traveling. I consumed podcasts, social media, and my social network became more and more Jewish over time.

For additional context, I am 37, female, and to be married in June 2026. I began working on this before I was engaged, knowing that I felt serious about my partner and that this decision would facilitate a certain closeness and integration that I desired. Turned out to be the best decision I could have made for myself. The consistent study, reflection, and application of Torah to my life has greatly enhanced my experience of living. I feel closer with my partner, closer with myself, and more capable of experiencing the awesomeness of Presence in my day to day life.

Doing anything for two years is not a flippant decision, and that’s why exactly why it takes that long. I feel truly chosen, because I first chose this myself. One must really choose something to be able to sustain an activity over two years time.

I made this Reddit, well I was in my last attempt in giving the christian faith a last try with going to a new SDA church. But that did not work out as I am to strict to following our Father.

I think maybe that is why I was abused so bad in my christian home growing up, my heart it to connected to our Father. Maybe my disability has something to do with it, but one thing that made me feel never to fit in with the group in the christian church is how my believes have always been to follow our Father. I also do not agree fully with how much of the pagan religion is in it witch is a evil religion, I seen this after I asked the Father for truth, he shown me it in 2019. What made me never to fit in all my life, is how I will tell people, no man came so we can sin and free us from following the father, we all on earth have to follow the covenant our Father made with us all. I will tell people it is not important if the messiah came or not in my personal believes but what is most important is to follow the Torah/instructions the Father gave us. Never less I was never someone that had friends and people was against any member or the church helping me, this could be because I am not like them and to much like a Jew.

This is why I finally accepted The Father did not form me with a christian heart, but he formed me with a heart that is only for him/a Jewish heart. I understand if some do not agree with this because I was born a Gentile. But even so I now I left that church and starting my conversion in Judaism, but I understand other Jews might judge me on my handle on Reddit, so I ask if any one knows how to change it? Because people down vote my last post where all I said was I am starting my conversion, im excited and nervous, (do to being so excited to find a place and family that not only accepts me but where it feels right and my heart feels at peace in the service) I only asked for advice on how to dress for Sabbath Morning service, but some people down voted it, I can only assume it is because of my Reddit Handle.