I was never really raised in that kind of world. I was raised in a family where having three kids was a lot. But then I’ve seen some Catholic families that have 8, 9, or up to 12 kids. I mean, I even dated a girl once who was one of nine. I thought having more kids was more of a forgotten art. Usually, when I think of religious people having lots of kids, I think of Muslims, hardcore Jewish groups. I mean, a lot of people nowadays aren’t even having any kids. It’s because it’s so expensive that many people can’t even afford to buy a home. I was always told that the hard-core Jewish communities live extremely simple lives and almost take vows of poverty to afford that many kids live extremely simple lives and almost take vows of poverty to afford that many kids. I mean, most of the people I see having that many kids aren't CEOs or in crazy-high-paying jobs; usually, they don’t even work, and they’re all homeschooled. I can’t comprehend how people do it. I want to have that many kids, and as weird as it sounds, I kinda don’t wanna take a vow of poverty like that. I still wanna have a decent amount of kids, but I do want to enjoy life with them and not financially struggle

Bonjour je suis une femme , vu que j’ai terminé mes études bientôt et que mon abbé m’a mis dans le groupe des "jeunes célibataires " ́ai commencé à réfléchir sur ce que serait le mari idéal et tout les point porte sur une personne agnostique s, déjà j'essaie de respecter ce que veux l’église sur le marriage mais un problème je ne veux pas d’enfants je ne les détestes pas au contraire je les adore et ils sont mignon juste je ne veux pas vivre la maternité par ce que déjà c’est extrêmement compliqué et je pense honnêtement que je ne suis pas faite pour être une bonne mère après il y a des raisons égoïstes aussi de ma part mais se sont les principales pour min âme et mon" bonheur " je crois que je ne dois pas avoir d'enfant, donc déjà trouvé un mari catholique qui accepte cela c’est presque impossible sauf si il est stérile , enduite les rôles "traditionnel strict type mormons " en général ne m’intéressent pas ,je ne veux pas vivre dans la même chambre que quelqu'un donc j'aimerais que mon futur mari et moi vivions si possible dans des chambres séparées voir appartement séparé et je ne sais pas comment quand j’en parle ils arrivent à tourner cela comme si c’est péché il y a plein d’autres chose au niveau du caractère des valeurs de l’ouverture d’esprit honnêtement de mes rencontres personnelles seule des hommes agnostique s respectent ses critères et ne sont en général pas braqué envers mes attentes de couples , surtout la principale raison pour laquelle on déconseille au Catholique les marriage intereligieux c’est pour l’éducation des enfants mais vu que je ne compte pas en avoir le problème est donc réglé. Est ce qu’il y a eu des Femmes catholique dans la même situation que moi et comment vous avez géré ?

Hello everyone! Hope you're doing well.

I've been on my modesty journey for a year or so and although I was raised Catholic (poorly catechized, ended up being lukewarm during teenage up until age 21 due to bad things happening in life and poor guidance in general).

I then became a lot more devout in the past few years, and of course modesty became a thing.

I think I'm doing a good enough job when it comes to most occasions, to go to the spa/pool I wear shorts and t shirt but to go to the beach I'm not sure what to wear! I used to wear bikinis of course but I can't do that anymore, i feel too naked and there are other men around (if it was only women or just my husband I wouldn't mind).

I tried to search for modest swimwear but there's either actual bodysuits + dresses Muslim women wear or there's bikinis. I can't seem to find anything in between. I don't want to wear an actual dress because I do want to get a tan 🤣 but I also don't want to have too much out.

I find bodysuits a bit uncomfortable. I've also searched online for vintage swimsuits as I feel women back in the day used to dress more modest but still flattering feminine clothes.

When you go to the beach with your husbands/family, what do you wear?

Thank you for your responses in advance!

I’m normally a lurker on Reddit (I’ve had to borrow my much younger tech savvy friends account to post as I don’t have my own) but this whole situation has driven me mad, and I’m desperate for some insight.

I (26) have finally finished my foundational training, and I am no longer a resident doctor (thank god!). This means I will be starting my speciality training this year, which comes with a fairly substantial pay raise.

So, I decided to tell my husband that he should stop working full time and stay at home. This had always been the plan and, as he already does more of the domestic labour (70/30), this wouldn’t be a big change.

It has always been my plan in life to have a stay-at-home husband. I hate cleaning up for other people and generally help around the house in other ways (e.g. I cook, someone else cleans.) even in childhood. This is something my husband has always known and wants it just as much as I do.

The issue is, when I brought this up to both my mother-in-law and other women in my parish, I got a LOT of push back in a way that genuinely surprised and hurt me.

There were a lot of implications made on how this would affect me being a good mother; that “I won’t ever truly experience being a mother if I’m not at least 90% present in their lives” or how I wasn’t allowing my husband to ‘lead’ in a biblical way and a general lack of understanding on why I ever would want to be the bread winner.

I’ve been raised Catholic, my grandfather was a seminarian before he met my grandmother, and I’ve never had this kind of ideology pushed on me by fellow Catholics (evangelicals, yes, but never Catholics).

I feel very isolated in my community now, and I’m a little lost in my thinking. I want to be an active member in my children’s lives when I have them and, though the way this issue has been pointed out was hurtful, I’m quite worried about not being present, along with a hundred other things.

A longtime friend I haven’t seen in a while stopped over on Mother’s Day. I was asking about her son and daughter in law and their new baby (baby is 8 months old). She goes on to casually tell me that her daughter in law had an abortion this past Friday and while at the clinic found out it was twins. She went through with it. For one, the way my friend causally told me has me upset (she wasn’t upset in the least) and two, thinking about the loss of these twins, and the potential they had has me feeling really down.

Dang ya’ll. It’s bothering me big time.

That’s all. I just needed to get this off my chest and share with women who would understand my heavy heart.

I (40F) am currently going through a divorce. I have 3 daughters. My husband is emotionally, physically, and financially abusive. He would scream at me, push, grab, and choke me, wrestle me, block exits, throw things, etc. He removed me from one of our joint bank accounts that was used for groceries and clothing for the family and would not put me back on. We had another account that only my paycheck went into that I was still able to access. He has an alcohol, gambling, and a wandering eye (couldn’t say the actual word on this sub). I caught him on a dating app when we were in couples counseling. My girls witnessed a pretty bad incident of violence last April and I just couldn’t take it anymore. He moved out and we attempted to reconcile but he never changed. I filed this January.
I’m so very sad. I wanted so badly for him to turn this around. He’s already moved on to someone else. My mind also spirals and I wonder what more I could have done. We were married for 19 years and he started hurting me almost immediately after we got married. I wanted so badly to be a wife and I fear I will never have that role again.
Any encouragement out there would be appreciated.

TW - possible miscarriage
Me and my husband have suffered from infertility for 2 years out of nowhere when I stopped trying I caught pregnant during Easter I have cried tears of joy since last Thursday was my first doctors appointment she said everything looked healthy I was 6 weeks no heartbeat but she wasn’t concerned 4 days later I went and got a new scan at a baby scan place I wanted to see the gender with the blood test they needed to confirm I was over 6 weeks now I’m not spotting no pains and this guys tells me very rudely my baby is dead saying I’m only measuring 6 weeks 1 day and no heartbeat now he isn’t a doctor or a nurse I felt like I had whiplash because 4 days before my doctor said everything looked healthy I’m just asking for prayers to accept gods will if my baby is ok or not just asking for strength if it’s not I’m praying so hard my baby will be ok

I am struggling so bad with NFP. I originally learned sympto thermal first, then after a baby switched to Marquette. It got too expensive for me so now I do LH strips with a wearable thermometer and wait until ovulation is confirmed with a sustained BBT rise before sex.

Since we’re seriously avoiding, because I’ve ovulated super early a couples of times, following the NFP rules combined with my terrible periods we can really only do anything after the bbt rise. I have two main struggles.

1. My libido is RAGING, like annoying raging almost my entire cycle. Even disrupting my normal daily tasks. It’s actually a problem lol. Then when it’s go time, it’s gone. Completely gone. And I get anxiety about pregnancy and even wait longer than we need to according to NFP rules.

2. Anxiety. I struggle with anxiety and ocd pretty bad. Literally every single month I get terrible terrible anxiety waiting for my period. This is really taking a toll on me and wearing me out. This month, my period is later than usual and I took a test, it’s negative But my anxiety is eating me alive. Why is it late? When will it come?

I don’t want to never have that kind of intimacy, so cutting it out isnt really an option I’m considering, but How do you deal with the libido struggles while avoiding? And idk how to just trust NFP. My Anxiety always kicks in and steals so much energy from me and nothing I try doing to stay calm works. I’m so miserable with this.

I’ve been researching this question for days and I’m getting so many mixed answers. I have a boyfriend and we haven’t made out yet but I’ve been hesitant to because I don’t know if it’s too far. It wouldn’t be with tongue and it would NOT lead to sex. Any thoughts?

Im not married or planning on it nor am I having pre marital sex. But if I ever am married. but I am very confused I have very irregular periods the only thing doctors recommended is birth control but I dont want to get on it for a multitude of reasons but I know NFP is is constant for ovulation and normal period cycles but like I go months without my periods how are you supposed to track ovulation? Its not a big deal now but im just curious how you deal with this.

Mother’s Day is this weekend in the US. For those of you going through infertility and/or miscarriages how are you doing?

Having been in this position for years now, it always feels bittersweet since I know I’m a mom to babies in heaven, but I also know that to everyone around me I’m seen as “childless”. Sunday mass is also heavy since they sometimes have “all the mothers stand up for a blessing”. Though, I do think they have been making it more inclusive lately.

I’m keeping everyone in this situation in my prayers this weekend. Happy Mother’s Day to all of you.🩷

I am 8 months postpartum and have really been struggling with loving and being kind to my in-laws for a few different reasons. They are not perfect, but I know I need to change my own heart and not keep viewing them as “the problem.” I have been trying to pray a rosary daily, but I am interested if there are any other prayers/practices that you’ve noticed make a difference in your own charity towards people in your own life that you struggle with loving.

As the title says, I am having trouble feeling modest even in my most modest of clothing, because I do not wear a bra. Sometimes I feel perfectly fine, and other times I do feel immodest even if I’m very covered up. It feels impossible to navigate and find the perfect solution. Has anyone else had this problem, and if so, what are some tips you can give me for such a case? I do not wear a bra due to sensory issues, but man, how a small choice can get you in your head! I have OCIA coming up and I really don’t want to feel immodest at Church. Thank you

We’ve been on a few dates. I’ve (25F) learned a lot more about his (27M) prior relationships, his hobbies, his family etc.

I am a very spiritual person. Everything that I do, I strive to do so with Christ at the centre (I am not claiming to be perfect as I am human and forget to prioritize Him sometimes). I love going to church, faith talks, adoration etc. I am also very conscious of how I represent Christ’s love outside of church too; in my words, actions, friendships etc.

Because it’s so early, I haven’t gauged whether he’d be interested in the extra curricular stuff that doesn’t include Mass, but he told me he goes to church every Sunday, which I admire. However, I feel like outside of that, he may not be very convicted in his faith (my analysis is just based on the fruits he bears). For example, the way he talks about people and gives into his anger is a little off-putting, but it’s nothing extreme. I feel that he complains quite a bit as well (I am an optimistic person and always like focusing on the positives). He has dabbled in substances before as a teen, and has been in multiple relationships/slept with women. He does have a nicotine addiction. He also said he smoked (🍃), but I don’t know yet if that’s something he still actively does, especially considering he’s pretty much surrounded by people who all love to do it, and you know what they say about the company you keep. His parents are amazing (I’ve met them), but his siblings are pretty much into all the bad stuff you can probably imagine, even though they still go to church. I’ve always been told that I should also consider the type of family I’d be joining if this led to marriage. Also, the fact they are always around him makes me think they’d influence his behavior.

He loves how faith-based I am, admires my qualities, and has stated he’d like to come to church with me too (we’re both Catholic). He also agrees about the basic things like men should be providers, women should be nurturers etc., but I don’t think he actually understands what it means to spiritually lead, and actually lead a Christian life. Is it worth pursuing the relationship if he isn’t what I am looking for spiritually, or am I meant to give him a shot because I also believe my faith will allow his relationship with Christ to grow? I’m worried I’m wasting my time on something I could’ve identified to be a dead end from the beginning, but I also haven’t given it enough time to know if that’s what this is.

What do I do? Seeking advice from women who may have been in this boat before.

In my previous post I explained my situation and asked how to make an effective and satisfactory confession. People suggested me to do an examination of conscious so I did. I've made a list of things I've done but I'm unsure if some of them are venial or mortal or a sin at all (like fasting, sources say it applies only after turning 18)

And I also need help wording it properly, so it's not vague or misleading. I want someone to look at my list and help me with it. Please dm me if you're willing. And no judgement please. <3

Hi all, first time poster here so thank you for having me.

I have recently felt a calling to Christ, to follow his word and abide by him. However, I was never raised in a religious household so I am feeling overwhelmed in where to start. I was gifted a King James edition bible but am wanting tips / suggestions in how the bible should actually be read, understood and followed.

I have yet to attend a mass or find a local Parish yet, so that may contribute to my feelings of being lost and not sure where to start.

I have reached out to a couple of parishes to see their processes on RCIA and I'm unsure if this was a sign, but I'm starting to think it is, that one of the churches I reached out to are in a different locality to me, however I went on a drive about an hour in the opposite direction, and happened to find a park infront of another church (both Catholic) with the same names. Could this simply be a coincidence, or is this a sign for me to join him on this Journey.

I am also happy to receive any recommendations on study materials / bibles, podcasts and all that stuff.

I have so many questions but don't know where to start, thank you all for your time!

I know it may be odd to post in r/CatholicWomen about this, but I'm having a difficult time finding a modest dress for my wedding. I'd like to have a fully covered back (due to some pretty severe scarring), but I'm on a budget of about $500. It seems being plus-size has really limited my options. Based on my measurements, it looks like a wedding dress size 18 will fit. Do any recently married women have suggestions on where to find something? I saw JuneBridals as an option, but they had horrible reviews. I'm also looking at JJ's House but again, not great reviews.

I have been sinning & I just found out Im pregnant with my now fiancé. I would like to be married as soon as possible and not wait the 6 ish months of classes and prep.

There are a few issues at play, I guess:
- I am catholic but he isnt anything at all (just spiritual)
- I want to be married as soon as possible. I want to have a small wedding before I start to show.
- I love my priest & would love for him to marry us but I am kind of ashamed to tell him I am pregnant out of wedlock (until we are married atleast)
- would the church marry us faster if they knew I was pregnant? Or would they kind of shun me? I know it is a blessing but I never intended for this to happen before marriage & I feel a little bit ashamed
- I really dont want to get married civilly and just having a convalidation ceremony but Im wondering if that would be faster

Thank you in advanced for your advice!

Hi all, new here but have occasionally been reading some posts 😊

I'm currently 36 and just found out 2 weeks ago that I'm pregnant with our 4th baby -- a surprise! My husband and I have always said we wanted 3-5 but 4 always seemed like the ideal number. I really do think this will likely be my last pregnancy. Of course anything can happen as we practice NFP, but I can just tell mentally and physically I don't have the stamina for a lot more (have a history of OCD and anxiety since childhood and it tends to worsen postpartum, though I have a lot of good tools and a great PMHNP). This pregnancy is already hitting me fairly hard (as they all do), but when you're getting older and have other kids, it definitely seems more so.

I guess my question is, how many of you age 35+ noticed a general decline in your fertility and didn't have to practice NFP maybe as strictly to avoid as you got older (maybe as compared to when you were younger)? I'm one of those women that I'm sure other women hate because my period and fertility don't return until I am completely done with breastfeeding so that has helped us space our kids a lot. I've also had an ectopic pregnancy (between my 2nd and 3rd) and now have no left fallopian tube. For our 3rd baby we had to try for about 6 months as I kept having chemical pregnancies, partially due to a short luteal phase. With this 4th baby, I thought I wasn't getting pregnant because of short luteal phases again (which is likely true) HOWEVER my third child was also my longest breastfeeding baby until 2.5 years (very sparse there at the end) and I suspect that not weaning her was keeping my luteal phases short-- even though my period had returned and I was ovulating. I was also totally fine with that-- we weren't really avoiding and I just let my body do what it wanted to do. I fully stopped breastfeeding in February and in March I had an anovulatory cycle and then in April I ovulated super early (day 8!) to apparently make up for that cycle and that's how I ended up pregnant this time. So I've been sort of "lucky" that out of the 10 years of our marriage we've only really had to adhere to NFP/TTA for about 2 years because I've otherwise been pregnant, breastfeeding, or actively trying.

I guess I'm trying to gauge after having this baby at age 37 and then breastfeeding for at least a year (maybe more) and then being age 38, how much longer I'm going to need to use NFP to avoid pregnancy. I get that everyone is so different and perimenopause/menopause hits everyone at a different age. I know I got pregnant easily in my 20s (27 and 29 for my first two, got pregnant right away), but I have definitely seen things change as I've gotten older. I guess to be safe I'll have to be following NFP until my 40s, but I'm just sort of curious about people's experiences. I feel like there is a potential I could still get one more surprise pregnancy after this one 😄 But I'm kind of hoping there could be a natural decline to my fertility after this baby.

TLDR: Did you have to follow NFP as strictly to TTA as you got closer to 40? Did you notice a natural decline in your fertility as you got older? Curious about your experiences!