I have reaped the consequences of coming out to my parents 8 years ago. Two months ago I came out to my psychiatrist and family counselor and they advised me to keep tending to my parents expectations. I sort of regret it all. I have been having major depression for 9 years , have attempted suicide a few times. I have been trying to make sense of it all.
Did you tell your woman about your sexuality or have you kept it a secret I know plenty of both some who even playing secret or don’t tell their partner because they might be disgusted an leave or might be homophobic
My wife and I have been together since 2011 and while I’ve internally questioned my “straightness” for quite a while, and while I’m sure she had suspicions (I LOVE being pegged & sucking on the strapon, and she’s info gay porn, which I’m always willing to watch with her and we talk out how hot it is - among other things), it’s just never been something we really talked about.
It’s really been weighing on me lately so yesterday I told her I was struggling with a me-thing. I said I’m feeling super confused lately and kind of off in that it’s obvious I’m not gay, but I don’t feel straight either. She said “maybe you’re having a sexual evolution and you’re bi?” Her. Words. Not mine. It was SUCH a relief to hear her say that in a comforting way - zero judgement, zero concern, really it was just love. Not to mention that the weight I had been carrying disappeared SO quickly.
After talking for a bit I said I just didn’t know where things go from here. And her (perfect) reply was “Look - I love you and I always have. We’ve got our whole life together to figure out what this means for you.” and followed that up with a hug and an incredibly loving soul-bonding type of a kiss.
Last night we had next-level sex and I could tell through some of the things we did that a little door had been opened in her as well.
We’ll see where this goes, but the first steps were wonderful! Here’s to the future….
Men Married to women, How often do you use a dildo on yourself?
Just wondering if anyone else has the same preferences.
This is definitely not satire. Absolutely not.
I read where a lot of bisexual men are just into penises, and that’s cool and totally valid. But personally, there’s something so intensely intimate about men kissing. The sensuality and vulnerability of two men embracing in a kiss, exploring each other’s mouths. I guess it’s the initial point of surrender sexually, so this kiss implies everything it can potentially lead to.
How did it feel for you, the first time you kissed another man. Not just physically but emotionally?
Ever since becoming bi, my preferences for asses feels like it's been fluctuating all over the place and choosing a favorite between male and female asses has been tougher and tougher. Before developing feelings for men, I hated man asses and seeing their assholes in porn. Over time, I eventually started liking a nice round bubble butt on a guy but then hated hairy ones. Now I'm starting to enjoy seeing muscular and hairy asses more than shaved ones and enjoy having my own nice and trimmed over shaved.
Now I'd even say I prefer it over women now if the guy has a top tier bubble butt. It just seems nicer to me to see their hole framed with their package than a vagina some of the time...
I don't know if I prefer a nice fat female butt or.a nice hairy masc muscly bubble butt more. I do have to say though, Latinos have become a big fixation for me even over most women, with or without ass hair. Best part about being bi - I can have them both at the same.time!
I 30M have been bi my whole life and I have always been attracted to women my age as I grew older, but only to much older men (55+).
Currently I prefer women my age, maybe even slightly younger, and I like classic straight sex with them. I don't feel much attracted to older women. But likewise I don't feel attracted to younger men at all, while there's something about old men that drives me crazy (I have always bottomed for them).
I guess recently I have started to feel like it might be slightly unusual, is there anyone else who feels the same way?
I was watching Heated Rivalry and while it’s a steamy show, what stuck with me was the storyline of the hockey player falling in love with another man. It started so genuine and sweet, just two people slowly getting to know each other and building something real.
I had to pause it because it hit a little too close to home.
I’m a 26 year old guy and I really crave a deep, meaningful kind of love like that. I’ve been working on myself and trying to meet new people, make friends, and build connections, but it often feels like people don’t really take the time to truly know each other anymore.
What do you guys do when you really want to connect with someone/people but find it difficult?
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For me it's double penetration and not being afraid to let the balls touch during it or the other guy not being afraid to feel me up too even when we're sharing a woman. Feels great.
Too bad it's nearly impossible to find a couple where I live to play with...
I'm a bisexual man who leans more towards androphillia so I just love masculinity all around whether it's on men or women. I've fallen for many thicc heavy set butch lesbian chicks and it kinda blows knowing that many of them are not into men. If you know any bisexual butch girls send them my way lmao.
Practicing catholic, married and bi man, riddled with guilt
And other men out there in the same situation? I have so much guilt wrt my wife and the church. I’ve posted pictures, played online and jerked off in person twice with other married men. I’m 51 and have been doing so for 6 years. How do others deal with the shame and guilt. My wife knows I’m bi but does not want me to play around, either online or in person. It’s so hard with all the feelings.
No hace mucho tiempo mientras reflexionaba sobre mi mismo, una pregunta que no deja de pasar por mi cabeza, una inquietud que aparece cuando estoy en una búsqueda de una respuesta interna y que, por más que intento encontrarla y fallando en el intento, siempre regresa: ¿soy el único que se siente así, o hay algo dentro de mí que no termina de encajar?
Me reconozco como bisexual, eso es algo que ya no discuto conmigo mismo. Sin embargo, hay una contradicción que no logro resolver. A medida que he empezado a observarme con más honestidad, a cuestionarme de mis acciones, me he dado cuenta de algo que me desconcierta: aunque me atraen los hombres, no me siento atraído por lo que comúnmente se asocia con el mundo gay y como es su forma de vida.
Y ahí es donde empieza el conflicto.
No se trata de negar lo que soy, porque sé perfectamente lo que siento. Se trata de que, cuando intento imaginarme en una relación con un hombre que se identifica plenamente como gay, algo dentro de mí retrocede al instante con tal afirmación. No logro conectar con su forma de vivir, con ciertas actitudes que, aunque sé que no representan a todos, se me han quedado ahí como una idea general de todos. En realidad, me incomoda, porque no sé si estoy siendo injusto.
Curiosamente, las experiencias sexuales que he tenido con otros chicos han sido con personas que, como yo, se mueven en esa zona: bisexuales, heterocuriosos, personas que no se definen de forma absoluta en un solo lado, como si, de alguna manera, eso me resultara más cercano, más comprensible… más “yo”.
Pero entonces aparece otra pregunta, una más difícil que me es complicado de ignorar: ¿esto me convierte en alguien hipócrita?
Porque hay momentos en los que siento que debo de estar equivocado, que no debería pensar así, como si, sin darme cuenta, estuviera desarrollando una especie de rechazo hacia algo que, en teoría, forma parte del mismo espectro al que pertenezco. Y no es odio, ni desprecio consciente… pero tampoco es aceptación plena. Es una especie de distancia que no sé explicar.
Y ahí es donde todo se vuelve aún más confuso.
¿Es esto una forma de discriminación internalizada? ¿O simplemente una preferencia, una manera particular de experimentar la atracción? ¿Hasta qué punto tener una orientación como la bisexualidad implica aceptar absolutamente todas las formas en que otros viven la suya?
Sé que el tema puede resultar incómodo, incluso contradictorio viniendo de alguien en mi posición. Pero también sé que no soy el único que se cuestiona en silencio, que se analiza y a veces no le gusta del todo lo que encuentra, además el odio o molestia que pueden causar mis declaraciones en esta comunidad, son hasta punto aceptable para mi esas actitudes.
Porque al final, hay algo que tengo claro: lo que siento no va a desaparecer. Me gustan los chicos, y eso es una parte real de mí. Pero dentro de esa verdad, también existen matices, dudas, límites… y preguntas que todavía no tienen respuesta.
Supongo que lo que realmente quiero saber es esto:
¿Hay alguien más que haya sentido esta misma desconexión? ¿Alguien que entienda lo que intento decir, aunque no sea fácil de poner en palabras?
For years now I have been a bisexual guy, everyone I know is homophobic and doesn't understand that concept so what I do is blend in. I've learned to hide it and mask it away.
I make homophobic jokes with friends because it's weird if I don't and I will stick out like a sore thumb and since I like girls it leaves no room for doubts. It's been around 5 years
Looking at me in real life, I don't fit the gay archetype you know. Having alot of girl friends and being fruity and being extremely zesty.
I don't have anyone that I can talk to In general
I’m almost 60, bi, widowed, and trying to figure out whether I still have a real shot at love.
I spent most of my life not fully accepting who I was. I didn’t really accept my Bisexuality until my 50s. My wife and I have been together for 28 years. I loved her deeply, but our relationship was hard at times, and she never fully accepted this part of me. I lost her last year.
Since then, and with a lot of therapy, I’ve been trying to live more honestly. I’ve made changes that help me feel more like myself—different haircut, pierced ears, painting my toenails, exploring some feminine expression, going to PFLAG, and trying not to hide who I am anymore.
The problem is: I still feel deeply alone.
I live in a rural area and love country life—woods, lakes, gardening, maybe even chickens someday. I don’t want city life. But I also sometimes feel like the kind of person I am doesn’t fit the place I live, and that the dating pool for someone like me (older, bi, somewhat gender-nonconforming, rural, widowed) is so small that I may spend the rest of my life alone.
Even when I’m around people, I often feel alone.
My therapist says meeting someone would be hard, but not impossible. Some days I can believe that. Most nights, sitting alone in my house, I can’t.
I think what I’m really asking is:
Has anyone found love or a deep partnership later in life after grief, after coming out late, or while living in a place where you felt like you didn’t fit?
And for people who are bi, queer, or accepting partners—would a man like me actually be someone you’d consider dating, or am I fooling myself?
I’m looking for honesty, not false reassurance.
Hi everyone,
After 20 years of questioning I think I'm finally ready to it to myself. I am bisexual. I'm not sure I've ever said that to myself before and truly meant it. It was a long journey, and it took a lot of inner work to get there.
At 15, I discovered gay porn. Came harder than I ever had and freaked the fuck out. Spent high school sneaking my porn habits around, cycling between intense shame and pleasure. Didn't have much experience with woman at this point. At the time there was this belief that bisexuality in men was basically impossible. Therefore I had to be gay. But that label didn't feel right. Senior year of high school I actually "came out" sarcastically, to kind of test the waters. I rode that bit a little too hard, and lost some friends as a result. By the time I graduated, I was ready to start fresh, anywhere but there.
At 19, I had sex with a woman for the first time. This was a relief. I finally had a real data point to prove I wasn't gay. From that point, my sex life became a data collecting mission. The more women I slept with, the straighter I was, right? Well, at 19 I also got way too high and arranged to meet a guy off the Internet. I saw him, freaked out, and ran back to my dorm. He called me and said he was going to publicly out me for wasting his time. Scared the shit out of me. Throughout college and my early 20s, it was more the same. I treated women like objects. I watched gay porn in secret, often drug-fueled.
At 25, I had my first gay experience. I had just moved to an new city and I met up with a guy I knew from college who happened to be gay. We did a little coke and got a frisky. I freaked out, we stopped. But later we arranged to hang out again. He ended up blowing me and eating my ass. It felt good, but it felt weird. I left that interaction feeling that I had just confirmed that I DIDN'T crave men sexually. There was something just off about it. The pheromones? The smell? With women, I wanted pull their body close to mine. I wanted that intimacy. I wanted that emotional connection. With men, I didnt feel that. I started dating women more seriously at this point, though I was still watching gay porn sporadically. I believed that I could "cure" myself by abstaining from it (nofap) but the pull never went away.
At 27, I moved again. I was in a new city on the other side of the world where no one knew me. I arranged a date with a man off bumble. I believed that I could unlock my gay side through embracing physical closeness with men. So we held hands in public. We cuddled. But it didn't feel like I was unlocking anything. It felt weird. It felt forced. We never did anything sexual. I dated a few women, but the intensity of the sex almost always seemed to be lacking. I sought more and extreme acts in an effort to unlock it. I've had a lot of good sex with women, but a lot of vanilla as well. The one thing I've not had is an intimate encounter with someone I felt I could be truly open with. As long as I wasn't open with myself, I could never be open with a partner.
At 35, just a few days ago, I had another gay experience. This time I set the terms. I told him what I wanted to do, what I was comfortable with, and what my limits were. We sat in the bed and watched porn together. We masturbated. I told him he could take his dick out. I reached over and grabbed it. Seconds later I came. Hard. We continued laying there. He eventually started sucking my dick. All of his clothes were off. And then came mine. We ended up fully embraced together, naked. I came a second time.
This seemed to be the confirmation I needed. I was bisexual. Sex with men is slightly weird, but undeniably arousing to me. I'm continuing to get comfortable with it. I'm going myself permission to feel uncomfortable, and trying to not see this discomfort as a sign that I'm actually straight ... somehow. I'm navigating the bi-cycle. I'm learning to separate feelings - which are temporary - from identity.
At this point, my plan is to just practice admitting my bisexuality to myself every day. To acknowledge that while I may not feel any attraction to men in that moment, my identify as a bisexual man is not negated. Does a person hate food just because they aren't hungry? I'm going to take some time off porn, because it is the junk food of sex. I am going to talk with my therapist about it.
Unsure but excited about what comes next. Cheers.