Just wanted to get advice on my thinking,....
I’m almost 60, bi, widowed, and trying to figure out whether I still have a real shot at love.
I spent most of my life not fully accepting who I was. I didn’t really accept my Bisexuality until my 50s. My wife and I have been together for 28 years. I loved her deeply, but our relationship was hard at times, and she never fully accepted this part of me. I lost her last year.
Since then, and with a lot of therapy, I’ve been trying to live more honestly. I’ve made changes that help me feel more like myself—different haircut, pierced ears, painting my toenails, exploring some feminine expression, going to PFLAG, and trying not to hide who I am anymore.
The problem is: I still feel deeply alone.
I live in a rural area and love country life—woods, lakes, gardening, maybe even chickens someday. I don’t want city life. But I also sometimes feel like the kind of person I am doesn’t fit the place I live, and that the dating pool for someone like me (older, bi, somewhat gender-nonconforming, rural, widowed) is so small that I may spend the rest of my life alone.
Even when I’m around people, I often feel alone.
My therapist says meeting someone would be hard, but not impossible. Some days I can believe that. Most nights, sitting alone in my house, I can’t.
I think what I’m really asking is:
Has anyone found love or a deep partnership later in life after grief, after coming out late, or while living in a place where you felt like you didn’t fit?
And for people who are bi, queer, or accepting partners—would a man like me actually be someone you’d consider dating, or am I fooling myself?