r/Aupairs

Actually, I’m thinking about rematching. I’m a pretty simple person and an English Teaching and Literature student in Brazil, so I joined this program as an opportunity to improve my English and have a professional experience for my curriculum. I work very well and have a lot of experience with kids. ​However, I didn’t consider some things before coming to America. My host family doesn't provide a car, only the bus, and the bus here sucks. On my days off, I usually need to wait for the bus for a long time; it is always delayed and full of homeless people. Another thing is that we didn’t discuss 'off days' before I came, because I thought a full weekend off was standard for everyone. I only have one full weekend off per month, and when I want to explore, I’m either too tired or I depend on friends to pick me up. ​Plus, every time I try to do something different, like going hiking by myself using the bus, they don’t like it. They keep saying, 'Do you know this is far?' or 'It will take hours.' When I actually go, they ask a lot of questions to know exactly how I was able to get there. I don't like it because I don't think they are helping me; they are just being curious. Also, I don't have a TV in my room, so it’s very boring to stay inside. Using the living room TV is uncomfortable because the baby is always there playing. ​Finally, they are an Asian family and I can’t cook their food. Every time I buy my own groceries at the supermarket, they say it’s expensive, but I only eat basic things like rice, beans, and meat. It’s not something crazy or expensive. I’d like some advice because I feel this program has only been good for them so far.

I see a lot of Au Pairs from the Philippines but are there also Au pairs in Thailand? And does anyone know an agency? Friends of ours are traveling to Thailand next week and would love to meet Au pairs in person. But i never came across au pairs in Thailand so we dont know where to start

I'm an American currently talking to a potential host family in France. HF wants me to be with the kids all day when they have school off. I totally understand being with the kids all day on Wednesdays, but HF mentioned the kids also get two weeks of school off every six weeks, meaning I'd be working 50 hours during those weeks. HF has never had an au pair before, so I'm not sure they're aware of the 25-hour limit.

How are other host families/au pairs dealing with school holidays?

I have been talking to a host family and we seemed like a great match. We had interviews, I met the kids, and they really wanted me as their au pair. After a week of good communication, we discussed flight dates and agreed on one. She filled in part of the contract, I completed my part and sent it back, and she said she’d finish it so we could sign.

Since then, I haven’t heard from her. I waited a day and a half before checking in, then another 48 hours with no reply. Now it’s been 3 days total, which feels really strange. I don’t think they found someone else since they were eager to commit early and said I’d be a perfect fit. I’ve started looking for other families, but honestly, this feels really unprofessional and I’m not sure what to do.

Hi! I had a quick question about my matching pool. I’ve noticed that most of the families I’m seeing have infants, and I was wondering if this is related to my profile or current status (IQ).

I have experience with children of all ages and would also love to connect with families who have older kids, around 7–9 years old for example. Is there a way for me to access or be matched with those types of families as well?

Also, how do I search for ID's? I’m interested in this family and they sent me their ID but I don't know how to search for them...

Many au pairs end up in the unfortunate situation where they are asked to work more hours than initially discussed, which could ruin the whole experience if not managed well. So here are some prevention measures and solutions that I see working.

- Setting clear expectations early is crucial (hours, duties etc.)

-          Check your contract!
-          Try keeping track of the hours you actually work
-          When bringing it up, do it calmly, but don’t wait too long, and don’t get stuck in the situation
o   Use “I” statements (“I have noticed I have been working more hours than agreed…” feels less accusatory
o   Be specific, mention exact situations
-          Ask for/ propose solutions, do not just point out problems (adjusting schedules, rules)
-          If things do not change, try a second, more direct conversation (stay firm but respectful)

-          Talk to your agency; they are there to protect you! As a last resort, they can help with a rematch as well 😊

Has anyone dealt with this? What worked for you?

hello! i recently matched with a host family, and i should join them in june. however, i’m not sure anymore if i want to go. they live in a small town, and i’m really scared i might get bored there alone or have a bad experience. could someone share their journey?

Hii fellow Au-Pairs & host families!

I will be going to Norway for my Au-pair year in September. Now I’m thinking about gifts I could bring my host family (for parents and kids). They have 3 boys aged 4-8. I’m from Germany so I was thinking of bringing something from here! All of them also like to read a lot so I was thinking of bringing books for the kids? In Norwegian and English so I can read to them in English but practice Norwegian at the same time.

For Au-Pairs: what did you bring your host families as gifts? Did they like it?

For host families: What did your au pair gift you? What would you have wanted and what would be absolute no-gos for you?

Thanks so much for your replies in advance!😊

USA Host family with cultural care currently in rematch. We have hosted 4 au pairs and this is our first time needing to use the rematch process. We noticed after looking at au pairs available for rematch that a lot of them are rematching very quickly after initial arrival with their host family. It seems like this is not enough time to make an effort at reconciling any differences. We heard these early rematches are commonly due to the au pair's driving skills not meeting the host families expectations.

We don't require any driving for our child care so the au pairs who need to rematch over driving concerns might be a good fit for us, are there any other common reasons a rematch would occur so early?

I’m looking into extending with my current family, as I’ve done my education and my visa expires this August, and I’ve been told by my agency I only need a new DS-2019 for my stay to be extended. But if I want to travel outside the USA I will need to extend my visa and fund all the flights and use my holiday time to sort this myself.

My host family does not leave the states apart from a cruise they do in the summer. They’ve done this cruise with all their other au pairs so I’m assuming they’ll do it again next year.

My questions is will I need to renew my visa for this?

- The cruise is a closed-loop cruise from the USA

- The countries I visit are Mexico and Bahamas

- Google says I only need a valid DS-2019 for re entry as I’m not flying but my host family and I are not too sure whether to trust this.

Also what would other people advise:

- Lose some of my holiday time and pay for a new visa and flights for the cruise?

- Or do I sit out for the cruise in 2027, or potentially have the family change what they do?

I will do the cruise this 2026 summer so if they do it again next summer I won’t completely be missing out on the experience.

Do you think it is reasonable for the host family to ask me to start working at 6 am? Meaning id have to wake up at 5 am (i dont live with them so i have to wake up earlier to be there).

Hey! I (F20) am studying modern languages at Uni (in the UK) and am considering Au Pairing (in Spain) for the Spanish speaking part of my year abroad since I love working with kids and the accommodation is convenient. This would be from roughly April to September 2027. Has anyone done this before and do you have any advice? I haven't yet chosen a family but will get onto that quite soon. Is one website better than another? As a student, are there any protections that I should take? Thanks!

Our AP arrived without her ILD even though she’s through aupair care and our LCC said all APs have one on arrival. I’ve seen a few other posts/comments implying APs not getting the ILD before arrival. Is the agency dropping the ball?? It’s caused a big headache in our household and I can’t help but feel like it’s false advertising to say they’ll arrive prepared to drive when they don’t.

HF here. Our au pair (2nd year) upgraded her gym membership to full access without my consent. My card is on her file and apparently she has authority to upgrade without my consent. It’s not a lot of money but im not happy that she didn't tell me beforehand. How do other HF handle this situation?

One of my host kids is the rudest person I’ve ever met I’ve been here for a few months and he’s so disrespectful and he hurts me,like punching me in the back and just always taking things too far..this boy hates me and I’m honestly starting to hate him back…I love his siblings and his parents…the mother is aware of this behaviour but he’s not scared of her and even so she rarely tells him not to be disrespectful,his dad heard him being rude once and disciplined him but I’m even scared to go tell his father because I don’t want to cause problems because he’s also a mommy’s boy and the mom might get offended,but this little boy is borderline abusive and the way he speaks to me is disgusting…he made a song and the lyrics go “(my name) shut your fucking mouth” I love this family and I have so much freedom and they’re really kind but I don’t know how to deal with this disrespect anymore

Hi!

I’m interested in working as an au pair as a sort of gap year thing after graduating from college. I have a lot of experience working with kids and I’ve lived abroad multiple times. That is to say, Im not worried about those parts of the job.

The one thing im worried about is navigating my own dietary restrictions as a hopeful au pair. I am vegan and I’m worried that host families would pass me up because of that. I can’t control that part, but as I’m not expecting to work with a vegan family, would there be a chance a host family lets me cook for myself? Or is it expected that au pairs eat the same food as the family? Is there anyone else who is vegan who worked as an au pair and could share their experience?

Thanks

Hello! My question might come off as obvious, but I couldn't find specific information on this anywhere.

I want to become an au pair in Germany. I hold two citizenships (one EU, other non-EU) and I'm currently 28 years old.

With my non-EU citizenship, au pairing in Germany is no longer possible (the age range is 18-26). With my EU citizenship, au pairing in Germany would be possible (age range is 17-30). Which age range is applicable to my case? Is the procedure the same as if I was only european (had only the european citizenship)?

If anybody ever heard about an au pair with two citizenships, who went after they were 26, please share this info here. Couldn't find anybody in this situation and just wanted to confirm that it is possible.

Thank you very much!

hello,

My name is Iryna and I am an au pair from Austria in the US. I work with the agency Cultural care and lately I’ve been noticing that I’m falling into depression. I definitely wanna go home however I don’t want to pay 2000$ fo th plane ticket. Is mental illness included in the insurance? And if not does anyone have a way for me to go home without paying 2k.

For example would beginning a rematch and not finding a family within 2 weeks work? Or do you thing they would somehow check if I told them someone from my family is being hospitalized?

Okay so we have an au pair currently who’s been here 4 months. One thing she said was that she was a very strong driver and would get her ILD before arrival. That didn’t pan out for her but we still welcomed her even though we were clear we needed someone who could help drive (4 kids extra curriculars are a lot to drive for 1 person). We have a car for her and all that. The second week she was here she went to get her permit and failed…3 times in a row…in her native language. It’s a 20 question test that 15 year olds take. Next week same thing failed 3 times in a 1 hour period. Now I don’t have 2.5 hours to devote to this so I sent her in an uber the second time. The uber round trip with tip is about 80$. The next week I told her she needed to cover the uber and I would pay her back for it IF she passed. Because seriously she’s not being asked to do it in English and it’s 20 multiple-choice questions. Well dear reader she also failed 3 times in an hour and came home. Now she’s gone every other week with “lots of study” and failed 30+ times.

Do we rematch? She’s very upset about not being able to go anywhere and it’s really impacting her attitude with both us (host parents) and our kiddos. She’s started telling them “they are so annoying go away” this to my 5 year old. It was such a process to get an AuPair I’m hesitant to rematch. But at the same time I can’t continue to deal with her attitude and the fact that I’m not getting the help I needed in the first place (because of this she maybe works 20 hours a week).