r/AmITheBadApple

My roommate can't read. Not in the illiterate sense or in the literally blind sense. She just can't read because she desperately needs glasses, but thinks prescription glasses are a scam for some reason. If not for me, she'd probably had died from food poisoning by now because she just can't read any labels on her food or see when her food is moldy.

I recently hit a breaking point when my roommate was heating up leftovers and asked if I wanted any. I agreed, but freaked out when I realized the food she was re-heating was very visibly molded. We'd had an agreement over space where I'd leave her stuff alone as long as she left mine alone, but after my freak out, I went through her shelf in the fridge and threw out literally everything that had mold or was past it's expiration date. After that, we had a lengthy discussion about the food in the fridge going forward. We'd agreed, or I thought we had agreed, that moving forward we'd clearly label any homemade food with the date it was made so we could make sure we didn't end up with month old leftovers getting confused with newer leftovers of the same thing.

My roommate likes to reuse glass jars for things, which isn't a problem by itself, but she will keep saving glass jars even as they start to build up and overtake the space, so I have to be the one who puts them in the recycling bin. During a weekly fridge purge, I took out all the jars that had been labeled for April 28th and put all of them in the recycling. So when I went to make lunch on May 9th and found a jar of homemade red sauce that said April 28th on it, I emptied the entire jar into the compost, washed out the jar, and put it in recycling. I thought I'd just missed one during the purge.

Turns out, while I wasn't home on the 8th, my roommate had made a fresh batch on homemade red sauce. Rather than get a jar from the cabinet, she'd pulled a jar out of the recycling bin, washed it, and used that instead. She was furious I'd thrown out her freshly made sauce. She had seen it had a label on it, but couldn't read the date and I guess "April" and "May" look similar enough to her that she didn't think it'd be a problem even after we so recently had to empty the entire fridge because of mold on her food.

I realize I didn't ask before I threw it out, but I honestly never thought she'd remove a jar from the recycling bin when the cabinet is full of them. She's been mad at me all weekend and threatened to throw out my leftovers from last night. Was I the bad apple for throwing it away based on the label and not asking first?

So there is this girl, and she is called jasmine. jasmine suddenly came into school this morning claiming she had caught tourettes over the weekend (more specifically coprolalia)

context: coprolalia is basically where you have tourettes but instead of the more average tics you sometimes swear aswell. also i asked her what coprolalia was and she said she had no idea what i was talking about

well, she kept randomly saying the f word mid music lesson , and just making random head movements. i didnt say anything , but ive never heard of people catching disabilities (for quick context here i have asd and my special interest is neuroscience, more specifically things like disabilites.

i was leaving music to go to breaktime with my best friend r, and we were minding our own business. r is friends with jasmine aswell, im not because shes said the n word a bunch and was ableist to me as well as the fact alot of my friends are poc so i distanced myself .

then suddenly jasmine runs up to me and says "youre a fat b!tch!" and then immediately runs away. im now at the point where im like.. sorry what?

i then go to year office and speak to my head of year who says she does NOT have tourettes or any disability at all (she claims to have adhd, ocd, asd and now tourettes)

i go to my re class and then i find that her little sidekick (theyre both knobs thanks for asking) apparently caught tourettes off jasmine. and now theyre both jolting their heads around and swearing mid class. my re teacher obviously is aware of what theyre doing since she studies sociology and also teaches it. this girl who im friends with comes up to me and asks

"why has jasmine and her sidekick got tourettes all of a sudden"

i said that neither of them have tourettes and theyre both faking and that the hoy told me.

jasmine and minion overhear me and are like "no we're not faking , youre being ableist."

same person that called me the r slur btw..

this really popular boy im aquantinces with overhears us. i dont normally talk to this boy but we both like tottenham hotspur so .. and then he litterally told like half our year group about her faking tourettes and now evreyone keeps saying stuff this to her:

"oh no i think i caught tourettes off ya!"

i personally think karmas come back to bite her , but aitah for exposing her?

Hey reddit, I haven’t had the chance to book an appointment with a therapist and want neutral feedback so here I am, lol. I recently cut off a longtime friend and am wondering if I’m the AH for how I went about it.

I lost my grandmother late last year, we weren’t super close but she was my final living grandparent so the loss hit me pretty hard. I tend not to broadcast my life on social media but I did change my pfp and make a post. I got support from essentially all of my friends, but one. One that I had known for ten years and claimed to be a brother. I get to nearly a month after her passing and still heard nothing from said ‘friend’. I didn’t reach out specifically to him about this, but he’s one of those guys that’s always on sm. I wanted to end the friendship then, but decided to give grace and actually reach out and talk about what had been going on and how I had been feeling. We talked and I THOUGHT it went well, things started to get better then more radio silence. My Son’s (his godson..) birthday passes and he doesn’t call or try to see him (i think he sent a text a day later MAYBE). The final straw came when I tried to share a career milestone with him (you know like FRIENDS do!) conversation was flowing right up until I send that, then radio silence again.

At this point I’m brooding and going back over the course of the friendship, I realize this isn’t new behavior, It was a pattern I ignored for years. I’ve shared good news with him just to be met with either no response, or apathy. I give it a week before I ended the friendship with a pretty rough text. I’ll attach a semi redacted version to the post (if reddit lets me). :

“Sooo I’ve been sitting on this for a while and have given more than ample grace, but I’ve reached my breaking point. You have disrespected me and my relationship/ marriage for years, been a bad friend and even worse Godfather. I didn’t even realize that trying to share a milestone would be a litmus test, but hey😅. There are people I’ve known not even half as long as you that have been happy for me, whereas you have met me with apathy at best and cold tones of jealousy at worst. I definitely expected someone who calls me a “brother” to at least react, but clearly that’s a title that doesn’t mean as much to you as it does to me.
As for my marriage, I’ve let you spew envious venom about you mistakenly believing that you deserved to find love before and more than me for years. You haven’t found it yet because you lack the maturity and work ethic it takes to handle the woman you THINK you’re ready for. You also mistakenly compare my wife to these random women who you’ve had these shallow connections with, which further goes to show the maturity you lack.

Here’s a bit of advice for you, the lack of maturity is the reason none of your relationships have ever worked. I could’ve told you that if you would’ve ever asked me instead of always trying to run to my wife for man advice, which is also WILDY inappropriate. With this friendship ending, that’s also something you will no longer have access to. I now feel like I should’ve listened to EVERYONE that called you jealous and grimy in HS after you tried to pull that weird shit with T and left you where you were then. Instead I defended you and stood by you for 10 years while you quietly hoped I fail. I hope you know that I ALWAYS wanted to see you win, I always wanted you to find the Love you deserve and I always beamed with pride over every achievement you made, but you tried to ‘crab in a barrel’ me in return. I’m sure I fell short in more than one area of our friendship and for that, I am truly sorry for failing you and not being the friend you needed. I wish you would have told me what you needed the way I tried to tell you so that things didn’t have to get here. I pray your life is full and beautiful and that you succeed in everything that you do. I hope you crush it at your concert at Carnegie (if you’re still doing it) and that life delivers bigger and better opportunities to you in the future. “

Other contributing factors to add context:

1. ⁠he would go to me wife for relationship advice often; trying to give advice that would be better coming from a friend of over a decade 😅 this got to the point t where in the last months he talked to my wife more than me.
2. ⁠He was constantly comparing his life to mine. Every flavor of the month he talks to he thought he was going to marry and was just so much like my wife, and they never were.
3. ⁠the incident in HS the texts are referring to is him wanting to date my first love in HS DAYS after the breakup (literally gave the shiz no time to airdry). I told our friend group and they all pretty much have dropped him to this day.

So, WITAH?

(ps I’m SO sorry for how I posted this. I only posted once but it split up my post really wierd. Hope this edit fixed it)

This story happened a little under a year ago, but it still haunts me to a degree and the fallout lasted for a week (I swear I’m not being dramatic)

I was eating breakfast before school and my mom was nearby putting on makeup. Now, my family has two dogs, one of which is a papillon. For those who don’t know, papillons can be very manipulative when begging for food, ours in particular likes to prod at your arm or even pull your hand close to her, sometimes a little whine too. Now this is very adorable, obviously. But in the past, when I’ve eaten this particular breakfast, when giving her a bite, she spits it out. This has happened multiple times. As a little joke, I just went “no baby, you’re going to just spit it out.” and then continued to eat. My mom went “just give her a bite“ I continued to explain that she would just spit it out like she does every single time. My mom kept pushing, at this point, I had maybe two or three bites left, so just to get my mom to stop, I pinched one end of the food as a small bite and bit the rest off before quickly tossing the food to my dog. (What do you know? She spit it out)

My mom wildly misinterpreted the situation as my shoving the whole thing in my mouth and called me an asshole. This was the first time my mom ever called me anything more extreme than a “brat” or “crybaby“ when I was younger and it hit really deep. We ended up not talking to each other for three days. When my mom finally brought it back up she basically said “what, you want me to apologize? You won’t think I mean it anyway“

This has been resolved a while ago but I still think about it and thinking about it makes me cry. So, am I the bad apple?

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheBadApple/comments/1ta6i90/aitah_for_getting_my_class_to_bully_this_girl_for/

so litterally today jasmine got a group of 50 people to chase me home , and my mum had to pick me up and i had to run into the car because people were trying to get in... some girl got into an argument with my literal mother and said shed beat me up herself. im honestly so confused and dazed about this whole thing and its so confusing , she even turned my best friends against me and about 30 people were litterally recording me. people were pouring water all over me and grabbing me. im terrified to go in tommorow, but im gonna try and tuff it out, wml :(

For some context, me and my cousin are very close, like best friends. I’m an 18 year old female and he’s a 19 year old male. I introduced him to one of my friends who we can call Stacy last summer so he had someone to go to lolla with, as I was unable to go. My friend Stacy and him got relatively close which I had no problem with until about a week ago. My cousin and I have wanted to travel together for a while now, so I suggested going to Boston for a weekend. After suggesting this my cousin booked a 1 day trip for himself to go to Boston, he told me about this and obviously I was a little annoyed. He was understanding about my feelings and I just said that we could go another time or try to go somewhere else in the summer. I told my friend Stacy that my cousin did this because I was just frustrated about it and the next day she texted him and said that I was “venting” to her about his Boston trip. My cousin reached out and told me that she said this, he thought it was super weird and after he defended me to her all she said was “bruh.” I confronted Stacy about this and basically told her it was disrespectful to just go out and tell my cousin something I told her in confidence. All Stacy kept saying was that she didn’t think it was that serious and she didn’t understand why she was in the wrong. She kept sending laughing emojis in her apology and it felt like my feelings were completely invalidated by her. A few days go by when another friend, Emma and I were going to host a staged fight night and we were trying to convince our entire school it was true. Stacy heard about this and told 2 of my close friends that I have been very angry recently and brought up the cousin situation to them, she said that I got really mad at her over nothing. Later that day i FaceTimed Stacy and told her she was being very inconsiderate about how I felt in the situation, she continued to tell me that she thought the entire conversation she had with my cousin was a joke. She said she was sorry I felt this way and sorry that it seemed that way. Am I overreacting to this? It feels like I haven’t gotten a genuine apology and I can’t wrap my head around why she doesn’t see an issue in telling my cousin things I talked to her about.

Today is mother’s day, I am 25 years old. My mother and me have had a very up and down relationship. My mother has been through a lot, the trauma is there and my childhood was very hard and traumatic for the both of us. Lately i’ve been trying to help her with her issues and try to be there as a daughter. I plan all of our holidays, plan everything, host and open my home to my family I put everything together and make sure it all revolves around my mother due to her narcism and sensitive skin. I know I don’t need to walk on eggs shells and i’ve set boundaries but I still want a family thanksgiving,christmas, and mother’s day. The last 3 times she has been on my ass about making sure the holidays revolve around her. I have been in a relationship for 3 years which has now become very serious to where I also need to be with his family for the holidays. I always make sure to see my family and his, I plan accordingly around my mother but it always turns on me that I’m being selfish because I don’t care about her schedule. I go to my boyfriend’s family first then go to my family events or the other way around but this is never enough for my mother. I’ve gone to the lengths of leaving events early to make sure she felt priority but It is still thrown in my face I don’t care, I make whole days separate for her. BUT The last 2 holidays we plan all of this around her and 48 hours before she will cancel. Today was my final straw, I made reservations and planned an entire day with my mother then to go to my boyfriend’s family after, Well my boyfriend asked if we could go to his mothers first then go to see my mom. Our reservation was at 2pm, it’s 10:30 am I called my mother to tell her the plan and she goes ballistic. “Cancel the reservation and just do you!” What?!!! I called her and she told me I only care about myself and my boyfriend. That she doesn’t want to go anymore and that I can just leave her alone…I made everything around her, everything i’ve done is always around her. I cried so hard, I feel like a failure , I am so hurt and I feel in the wrong still even after all the effort. I’m trying to start
my life and start a family and I feel she is so jealous and hurt when I made the whole day around her like she wanted and she just threw it away. What do you do with hard family members? those who are always the victims ? even when it’s your own mother