Is family always forgiven?
Today is mother’s day, I am 25 years old. My mother and me have had a very up and down relationship. My mother has been through a lot, the trauma is there and my childhood was very hard and traumatic for the both of us. Lately i’ve been trying to help her with her issues and try to be there as a daughter. I plan all of our holidays, plan everything, host and open my home to my family I put everything together and make sure it all revolves around my mother due to her narcism and sensitive skin. I know I don’t need to walk on eggs shells and i’ve set boundaries but I still want a family thanksgiving,christmas, and mother’s day. The last 3 times she has been on my ass about making sure the holidays revolve around her. I have been in a relationship for 3 years which has now become very serious to where I also need to be with his family for the holidays. I always make sure to see my family and his, I plan accordingly around my mother but it always turns on me that I’m being selfish because I don’t care about her schedule. I go to my boyfriend’s family first then go to my family events or the other way around but this is never enough for my mother. I’ve gone to the lengths of leaving events early to make sure she felt priority but It is still thrown in my face I don’t care, I make whole days separate for her. BUT The last 2 holidays we plan all of this around her and 48 hours before she will cancel. Today was my final straw, I made reservations and planned an entire day with my mother then to go to my boyfriend’s family after, Well my boyfriend asked if we could go to his mothers first then go to see my mom. Our reservation was at 2pm, it’s 10:30 am I called my mother to tell her the plan and she goes ballistic. “Cancel the reservation and just do you!” What?!!! I called her and she told me I only care about myself and my boyfriend. That she doesn’t want to go anymore and that I can just leave her alone…I made everything around her, everything i’ve done is always around her. I cried so hard, I feel like a failure , I am so hurt and I feel in the wrong still even after all the effort. I’m trying to start
my life and start a family and I feel she is so jealous and hurt when I made the whole day around her like she wanted and she just threw it away. What do you do with hard family members? those who are always the victims ? even when it’s your own mother