Not just emotional. Actual money.
Late fees. Forgotten subscriptions. Impulse buys during hyperfocus. Food that expired. Things replaced because you couldn't find the original.
I started adding it up once. Stopped when it got uncomfortable.But then I realised — the number isn't the problem. Not knowing the number is the problem.
Anyone else actually track this? What did you find?
I’m 23F diagnosed with autism and moderate to severe ADHD a month ago.
The questions I wanted to ask are at the very end of the post.
My symptoms:
I’m always late, extremely inconsistent with tidiness or personal hygiene, very sleepy during the day despite sleeping 9 hours and having normal iron or wtv else levels, and very impulsive, aggressive (not always in a negative way), dramatic, hypersensitive, impatient.
I never had “serious” addictions, but always had a really big sweet tooth or addicted to a certain videogame or book/language to the point that those “obsessions” kinda ruined almost all other aspects of my life. I also have a habit of maladaptive daydreaming which can take hours of my day everyday and it’s exhausting.
I am also literally just not able to be in a relationship? Everytime I talk to somebody and smth minor happens and i just leave? even tho i regret it after. Therefore i’ve never been able to date or talk to someone for longer than a few months (normally 1-4 weeks). I also have really bad jealousy issues.
Another big thing is that the luteal phase of my menstrual cycle feels very extreme to me. The irritability, lack of focus, forgetting things, losing patience, getting genuinely extremely tired and aggressive, it really affects my life & my relationships with people. The last week before my period is the worst & that’s when I fight with people the most and cut them off my life.
A month ago I saw a psychiatrist and got diagnosed with autism/severe adhd and prescribed Ritalin LA 10mg. At first, I felt so calm and didn’t even feel the need for maladaptive daydreaming. I could actually get things done, like if i set my mind to do smth, i would just do it. At the same time, I could physically feel how I just kinda *think* before I say things? This gave me hope that maybe I am able to not lash out on people and act aggressive and cut them off my life over small issues. And that maybe someday I could actually have a long term boyfriend and be happy. The meds also helped me with impulsively spending my money.
Since then I’ve been actively watching out for my behavior and learning how to deal with impulses. I’ve been distancing myself from whatever causes me to get angry, taking my time, doing breathing exercises, etc. It did help a lot.
Anyway back to 10mg Ritalin LA, it stopped working completely after 2-3 days, I stopped taking them at all for a week, then I took 20mg bc I found out women with ADHD take more of the meds during the luteal phase, my heart was beating really fast (over 100 times per minute) which made me feel like shit but still focused and kinda happy? or horny? idk. Also, after those 8 hours I feel very tired & a little irritated. I kept taking two capsules a day and ran out of the meds too early and had another appointment with the psych and he prescribed me a generic brand but with 20mg this time.
So after taking a break for like 2 days, I started taking the 20mg methylphenidate again and I could physically feel how clear and calm my mind gets and how I genuinely think before I talk. Sounds weird but the difference between me unmedicated and me on 20mg is so drastic. It’s been like that for almost a week now, but I’ve noticed the 20mg doesn’t hit the same anymore + I was getting closer and closer to having my period. My doctor told me I should have 30mg before period and 20 after, but he never really prescribed me the extra 10mg, so I took 40mg of meth twice or three times, which also made my heart rate rise and I wasn’t feeling physically well despite having a sharp mind.
The last time I took the 40mg was 2 days ago, I remember how the second capsule was kicking in because I became so sharp, calm while my heart was racing, I was watching the trees outside while it was raining and my eyes just locked in on one tree and I sat there for an hour just staring at the tree. I felt so peaceful and awake? I felt like I didn’t need anything else at that moment.
Fast forward to today, I’m on second day of period, normally my mood and energy get much better on the second day of my period. I slept 7 hours, woke up, took a nap a few hours later, then took the 20mg and expected it to work (took it at around 12pm). At 2-3PM i became really exhausted and sleepy. Since then the whole day i’ve been kinda lazy, groggy and tired (even tho I have done the stuff that needed to get done — due to external motivation).
This is my month long experience with methylphenidate. Now I’m thinking about switching to Vyvanse cuz it works longer and is smoother to process.
So my questions are:
Has anyone had a similar experience with methylphenidate? Is it worth trying out Amphetamine instead?
Is it possible that when I was on the 20mg for the first time or 40mg, I was just kinda high on meth? I wonder if i’m mistaking the “high” and hyper focus for normal stable medicated state.
And lastly, did you guys also struggle with maintaining relationships? Does it get better after being medicated? I guess i’m just trying to look for reassurance that maybe I could also have a “normal” life lol.
I know it’s a long post, but if anyone read it, thank you :)
I haven’t tried Adderall or Ritalin yet, but I think I’ll be prescribed one soon. I was prescribed Wellbutrin first, but it didn’t sound like it would actually help with my executive dysfunction, so I never picked it up.
Is anyone here taking stimulants as-needed rather than daily? If so, does it work well on the days you take it?
That’s how I’m hoping to use mine.
Also — what dose did they start you on? I’m a little scared about that part. Any side effects worth mentioning? TIA
Hi my partner m(30) has adhd, anxiety and depression and he’s been trying to make friends or find a group to join on discord for so long to play games with as he has a lot of spare time on his hands, he tried one that he really enjoyed and actually improved his mental health but they’ve just vanished without a word and have ignored him which has made him spiral, he’s tried joining other groups but it’s not worked so does anyone know of any groups on discord he could join to make some good friends to play games with?
Like I wake up with full intention. I know exactly what I need to do. I even wrote it down the night before.
But the moment I sit down — nothing. Complete paralysis. Not laziness. Just... blank.
Took me a long time to realise it wasn't a motivation problem. It was a startup problem. My brain needed a different kind of ignition.
Anyone else figure out what actually works for them?
Hi all! As the title suggests, I am currently meeting with my doctor to look into potential neurodivergence/ ADHD after some issues popping up at a new job that I have not previously experienced. For contest, I am a 29 year old female who has never been assesed/diagnosed with any form of neurodivergance, but have always suspected due to specific thoughts/ behaviour patterns that very closely resemble other friends/ family members who do have ADHD/ autism etc.
My work history has mostly comprised of either creative work or service industry positions that keep my brain active and occupied. In the past I have always succeeded and surpassed work-related expectations and have always been able to be self-sufficient and functioning in my day to day life overall. However, I am now at a new position in a retail environment where i've been having difficulties in the first few months. Part of this job requires manually keying in of every item that goes through the till. This includes the item code, the description of the item and the price into a spreadsheet-style format.
The issues that have come up are simple but frequent typing errors ( letters mixed around/ spelling mistakes etc.). These error have been brought up by my manager several times now despite me feeling like I am double checking all of my entries. This has lead me to lose confidence in my work and also cause me a great deal of frustration, as I know I am capable and work hard to course-correct, especially in regards to work. I feel that I try to slow myself down when ringing things in, as well as cross-checking the information as I go, but for some reason it's like my brain skips over the errors and misses them entirely, only to be caught by management the following day which results in yet another stressful conversation which makes me feel as if I will lose my job. I also put a great deal of pressure on myself and never want to disappoint people. On the other hand, I feel like these errors are minor in comparison to the skills I offer this company but they have reiterated that these errors must be resolved to avoid further discussion or penalty.
Hoping to receive some insight from anyone that may be dealing with something similar in the workplace/ past. thank you!
Learning that not only do I have ADHD but that the bursts of anger that tend to pop up are related to it was a life-changer. Problem is that even with this in mind, I just can't shake those sudden waves of that emotion that'll come up out of nowhere and for any reason.
It's pretty much the same song and dance each time: Something (what I saw, what I heard, ANYTHING) triggers me to feel a certain way about it and I react to it before I can pull my tongue back and go "That's not a good idea!" Because by then it's too late. I've said something I can't take back that was hurtful, I start acting irrational, possibly make things worse because I'm just boiling inside, and then along comes the feelings of regretting it all and shutting down pretty much.
It's pretty much gonna be the death of me if I can't find something that actually works in helping me curb it before things get out of hand. I understand I can control words, but sometimes it's not always easy when people at times make it so damn simple for me to snap at them. But more likely than not, it's gonna ruin relationships if I can't do something.
My family that I love and have had close relationship with forever is gonna reach the final straw, I'm sure. They're already going through a lot as it is and now they're suddenly shifting it all towards me, saying I'm making them bitter towards one another and that I'M the cause of my father's depression lately. I'm pretty much terrified to become closer and hang out more with local friends because I'm worried they'll drop me too.
I just needed to vent this because it frustrates the hell out of me. I know I'm not a monster, but when I'm feeling those emotions, I sure feel like one.
From my research, it seems that science is constantly looking for ways to treat ADHD but not looking for a cure or ways to prevent ADHD from happening in the first place. WHY?!
Treatments to help us until a cure is found are great. And yes, the more treatment options available, the better. But why is no one trying to find a cure?!?!?! WHYYYYYY?????
Seriously, scientists, please work on a cure! And also, preventative measures!!! If no kid ever had to have ADHD again, you'd save a lot of kids from debilitating depression and worse.
I'm a 41F with a great job, beautiful home, supportive husband, etc. and I still regularly hate myself for not being able to function normally. Taking 4-5 different medications plus caffiene just to get through the day and still barely accomplishing the minimum is exhausting and unsustainable. I'm so tired.
Scientists, please go beyond treating the symptoms, figure out the reason for the problem and fix it!
I don’t really stick with hobbies because I’ve always struggled with them. For example, I tried building a LEGO set recently and it took me about two hours, and I still made mistakes while putting it together. I also started a puzzle, but after only managing about eight pieces in nearly an hour, I felt frustrated and wanted to give up and just put everything back in the box or give it away. I would rather just be on my phone.
When things take that much effort, I often end up feeling overwhelmed or having meltdowns, so I tend to avoid them. I also don’t really like sports-related activities because my coordination is pretty bad, and I usually feel clumsy or out of place doing them.
Because of this, I also avoid forming friendships most of the time. A lot of social activities revolve around things like board games, video games, card games, or sports, and even casual hangouts often involve learning rules, following fast-paced interactions, or keeping up mentally in ways that feel difficult for me. So, I end up stepping back from those situations before they even start.
Instead, I usually end up doomscrolling because it doesn’t require me to actively do anything. I can just passively scroll without having to focus, make decisions, or push through something difficult. It honestly feels easier for my brain because there’s no pressure to complete anything or risk getting frustrated.
Anyone else relate? Does medication help with this?
i haven’t had this happen in a few years but my doctor of 8 years who i had a great relationship with has left and there’s a new doctor filling interim. he’s great but the office called me after i requested my refills like i do every month and she said i have to come in for my urine/blood drug test and i’m prescribed 30mg a day. i’ve taken 50mg today and yesterday. i can go in tomorrow or the day after since im off of work and don’t need to take it. i’m worried about it not showing up in my system or either showing up more than it needs to. any suggestions or advice?
Hi Is it just me or does anyone feel the meds change them as a person I’m now on 50mg elvanse, but I’m not v consistent and have been gardening.
I’m locking in and getting ready to be taking it everyday
I’m 23F about to enter last term and I also believe that’s adding to the stress of why I can’t be consistent trying to apply for roles plan life after uni and get a 1st.
For years I couldn't fall asleep in under an hour. Racing thoughts, phone in bed, the usual. Sleep hygiene articles didn't really move the needle. Here's what actually did:
- Physiological sighs or box breathing for 2–3 min in bed. Bigger effect on falling asleep than any supplement I tried.
- Body-scan, not breath-focus, as the wind-down anchor. Following the breath made me more alert; scanning the body shut me off.
- Short sleep-focused audio (5–10 min) worked better than 30-min sleep stories — I never made it past minute 10 of the long ones anyway.
- Ambient sound in a narrow band (brown noise, steady rain) beat playlists or music with structure. No variation = no attention hooks.
- A dark, quiet app. No streaks, no notifications, no paywalls at launch. Phones at bedtime are already the problem — the app shouldn't make it worse.
I'm a developer, so I ended up building all of this into an app called Lumea (iOS) — sleep sounds, wind-down breathwork, body-scan audio, and short sleep meditations in one place.
If you like, you can try it completely free
Honest feedback from people who actually hack their sleep is what I'd value most — does this approach hold up, or am I missing something obvious?
For a long time I thought something was “wrong” with me. I wasn’t depressed… but everything felt flat. No excitement, no motivation, no spark. Just a muted brain running on autopilot.
I tried motivation, discipline, productivity hacks…
Nothing worked because the real problem wasn’t discipline. |
It was dopamine overstimulation.
My brain was getting so many micro-dopamine hits (scrolling, noise, switching apps) that my baseline completely collapsed.
What actually helped was surprisingly simple:
Reels/Shorts/TikTok were killing my sensitivity.
Low-dopamine walks (5–10 min)
No headphones, no music. Just walking.
It reset my mind way more than I expected.
One “baseline task” per day
Make bed, wash 1 dish, read 1 page. (Anchor Activities which i have to do daily no matter what )
This rebuilt the reward system from the bottom up.
None of this fixed everything instantly…
but after 10–14 days, I started feeling tiny sparks again.
Like my brain was slowly coming back online.
If anyone wants the simple 30-day low-stimulation routine I used (step-by-step), I can share it.
Hello people, just wanted to share what’s been helping me keep my space somewhat livable despite having the attention span of a ferret on Red Bull (some how end up flowing through 7-8 tasks and only completing each one 1/3 lol).
I’ve tried every checklist, schedule, app and YouTube hack and always ended up overwhelmed or just forgot they existed after 3 days. So here’s what’s actually stuck:
-Micro-cleaning. I don’t clean the whole kitchen. I wipe one counter. Or just take the trash out. That’s a win. I don’t wait for motivation, I just do a tiny thing when I think of it.
-Visible supplies. If I can’t see the spray bottle, it doesn’t exist. So I leave a couple of basics (disinfectant, microfiber cloth, paper towel roll) in high-use spots where I can grab them without thinking.
-Timers. I set a 5- or 10-minute timer. I clean until it dings, then stop. Turns out I can handle 5 minutes of focus and sometimes keep going once I’ve started.
-Cleaning while on calls. Zoom call at work? I mute myself and clean something small while listening. It’s surprisingly effective.
-Accepting "good enough." My brain loves all-or-nothing thinking, so I’ve had to actively unlearn that a surface needs to be sparkling to count. Wiping up crumbs = good enough.
Hope that helps someone else out there. If you’ve got ADHD cleaning tips that work for you, drop them below because I’m always looking for new ideas.
Anyone else have both?
I was on Adderall 10 mg, 3 times a day
Unfortunately I fell asleep at a stoplight around 3 pm a couple of weeks ago, fully medicated. Sleep attack came on fast.
My foot came off the break and I rolled into the very nice Mercedes in front of me. $3k+ to replace their bumper because of the scratch.
My doctor suggested I try Modafinil instead of Adderall.
100 mg Modafinil felt like taking Benadryl for 2 days.
This could also be the effect of stopping Adderall.
My doctor seems to think since they are both central nervous system stimulants they would switch out easily.
200 mg feels like I still need to take Adderall, like I forgot my afternoon dose sort of feeling.
I will ask to go up to 300 mg next week at my appointment.
I haven’t been able to do much work or drive so I am thinking about taking some Adderall anyway so I can get some work done.
Does anyone here take both?
Does anyone manage ADHD and narcolepsy on just Modafinil and caffeine?
I had developed a tolerance for Adderall many years ago. I was taking 60 mg / day and feeling no effect.
I went off of it for a while and then restarted when I had become sensitized to it again.
While off of it I tried Strattera and Intuniv. Vitamins, “energy” mushrooms, tea, all the willpower in the world to make myself exercise.
None of that is curing narcolepsy or ADHD.
I come from a med-shaming family.
I have totaled 2 cars (single vehicle accidents) from falling asleep. I’m not going to eff around.
Does anyone else manage cycling Adderall every few years with something else?
My son who also had ADHD had a psychotic episode, visual and auditory hallucinations on Vyvanse; So I haven’t tried that and would prefer not to.
But Adderall works for me despite the constant dry mouth and eyes; Being able to function like other humans do is worth those Adderall side effects for me. Unfortunately it seems I am getting a tolerance to Adderall again though.
does anyone else with adhd feel like a total monster when their partner is sick? my girlfriend is really nauseous and in pain right now (because of the flu) and i love her more than anything, but i’m struggling because i have this massive internal pressure in my chest that makes me literally want to scream because i feel so useless.
i’ve tried everything to be a "good partner" today. her family is handling the physical stuff, so i felt like i had no role. i tried to help the only way i could—i spent hours hyper-fixating on finishing a ton of work for her to take that load off her plate. i’ve tried sitting in silence like she asked, but nothing works for my brain. i finally snapped and started throwing a bitch fit because everything hit me at once. i was already redlining from the sensory trigger of hearing her winces, and i was desperate for some kind of "win" to prove i wasn't useless. when i showed her the work and she didn't have the energy to acknowledge it, it felt like a total rejection of the only help i could give. my brain couldn't process the "unfinished" feeling of the situation, and that pressure turned into aggressive yelling. i feel disgusting because hearing her in pain makes me feel "itchy" and irritable. because i can't fix it, my brain just turns helplessness into anger. even though she’s explicitly told me she’ll ask for help, i can’t trust that. i feel a desperate need to be doing something, and when i can't, i explode. it makes me feel worse because she’s texting me saying she feels lonely and asking "what can i do to help," even apologizing for "making me work too much." she's the one suffering, but she’s trying to comfort me because she can feel me spiraling!!!!?!?!?! i'm stuck in a massive shame spiral feeling worthless and petty. how do you guys force your brain to shut up and be a "safe harbor" when you’re overstimulated and frustrated that they're hurting? has anyone else felt this pressure where "nothing works" to calm your brain down?
Hello,
So my problem is very easy but I’m a bit concerned about it.
I have been with her for 5 months. Everything seems very perfect, we have a healthy communication style, we understand each other, we are very open to talk about our needs and expectations. And we have our future “marriage” plan so she has already met my family.
One thing to mention, she’s super independent when it comes to her decisions and refuses my help, and for me, helping is my way of support. I just can’t sit and listen without doing anything. So I can say it’s something essential in love. I’m trying to smoothly find my way in without forcing but yet it’s making me feeling like “distant” or something. I don’t want to make a big deal out of it cuz the 95% rest of things are oddly working amazing.
Any advice to find my way smoothly in?
She’s passing through some real drama atm.
I have an ADD diagnosis and have been taking 70mg of Vyvanse for roughly 3 years now. Since the middle of last year, I have noticed that it feels like every day is just a total dice roll in terms of whether or not it’s going to feel particularly effective that day.
I’ve been finding that, in particular, I just struggle to generate any original ideas - even about fairly simple stuff, and I can find it hard to figure out a plan for a piece of writing and get out of the details to see the bigger overall picture. I’m also extremely irritable. Loud voices, people playing videos from their phones, repetitive movements - all just seem to drive me up a wall now.
I’m a late stage PhD student and so the fact that it seems to be stifling my capacities to focus, think, etc. is really getting to me because this is exactly what I need to be able to do to get through my program.
I have considered going to my psychiatrist to change to something else like Concerta, but I’m worried that this would be a gamble. I’m supposed to start data collection for my thesis in a couple of months, after which everything is going to run continuously at full speed for several months until I defend. So, it just seems like a big risk one way or the other.
What can I do? I feel like I’m in such a state of anxiety about it all that I can’t strategically plan my next steps with clarity. Any insights would be awesome.
————————————
*Note:* just to be clear, I know I can’t say that this is happening BECAUSE of Vyvanse - but it’s the only logical explanation that I can see for where this is coming from.
IF My ADHD brain couldn't start work. is building a menu for it is a good choice
IF YES.
Not a to-do list. - FOR SURE.
A Dopamine Menu.
where I don't decide what to do. I check MY energy first. Then decides for me.
I (42 M) already hated those “getting to know you” questions at every office training thing. Today’s experience took it past the point of no return. (On mobile forgive me)
Had a training thing at work today. One of those “how to be professional” refresher courses. The instructor decided to do two different ice breaker things. Because, of course, only eight people in the class and they had to justify four hours.
The first exercise was to write “two truths.” Not “two truths and a lie,” just the truths. Basically “something interesting about yourself,” but twice. I have a hard enough time with one. My RSD makes me overthink and worry how I’ll be perceived. So my answers were:
I write
I’m terrible at coming up with answers for these questions.
But this second exercise, this one…I thought was too much. Maybe I’m overreacting.
It was more than the usual “favorite song/movie/dessert/era of Madonna’s career.” We had to pick a song that we “connect with.” The instructor then called on us, pulled it up on Spotify, and PLAYED it while we explained why we “connect with” the song.
Is it just me, or what the ever loving f? At least with just “favorite,” you can brush it off by saying “I have odd taste.” But “connect with?” That’s like straight up “they’re all gonna laugh at you” fuel.
When it got to me, I literally said “I can’t think of anything” and “I don’t know” to the probing questions that followed.
Please tell me I’m not alone thinking that was weird.