u/zaeyv

ano po usually ang activities sa cwts at lts? thank you po !

context: my gf’s bday is within this week already. i really want to make her birthday special so i planned to meet her sa house nila that day and give all the gifts i have prepared. i don’t want her to feel the birthday blues kasi..

problem/goal: but she doesn’t want to celebrate her birthday and that she just wants to be alone. she said she doesn’t want to entertain people muna sa birthday niya, and wants to feel everything alone. kahit ako raw, wag na muna kasi mahirap daw ngumiti at magpakitang masaya in front of others and baka raw mahawaan niya lang daw ako ng kalungkutan if nagpumilit pa akong puntahan siya..

i understand her naman na sometimes talaga pagod na lang din tayong magpretend na happy and may energy tayo in front of others. so i respect naman what she wants.

sa tingin niyo, should i let her be na lang and just give the gifts sa ibang araw?

or, kahit sumaglit lang ako sa bahay nila and give her the gifts? (may cake rin kasi akong na-order para sa araw na iyon)

I really don’t know what to do anymore and I genuinely need advice.

Problem/Goal: Lately, I’ve been realizing that I might be emotionally codependent on my girlfriend. I’ve been reading things online and “codependency” is the closest term I can find for what I’m experiencing. I want to address this now because I’m scared it could eventually make our relationship unhealthy for both of us.

Context: To clarify, I’m not dependent on her in the sense that I expect her to do things for me physically or handle my responsibilities. It’s more emotional. I feel like my world revolves around her too much, and I think that’s where the problem lies.

These are the things I’ve noticed about myself:

1. Whenever she’s sad, I also become deeply sad to the point that my mood depends on hers. If she’s not okay at school, I feel it deeply too, and it affects the way I interact with my friends. I can’t bring myself to fully enjoy things or feel happy when she’s not okay. It affects my whole day and sometimes I end up crying because of it.
2. Speaking of her being sad, whenever it happens, I also feel responsible for it even if it’s not my fault or not related to me at all. When I can’t make her feel better, I feel guilty and think of myself as someone who doesn’t help. I feel like I failed. It’s not limited to sadness either. I feel like I’m somehow responsible for all her emotions. Because of that, I end up monitoring her mood through the things she reposts, likes, or interacts with on social media just to check if she’s okay.
3. I overgive in the relationship. I always do everything I can and give more than I receive. To be clear, I don’t give because I expect something in return. But deep down, I think I’m scared that if I stop giving my all, then I’ll become nothing. Like I won’t be worthy of anything, needed, or have any purpose.
4. I get extremely anxious whenever she pulls aways or becomes distant and quiet. My first thought is always that I did something wrong or that she’s upset with me. When that happens, I spiral emotionally. I become sad, anxious, unmotivated, and lose the energy to do anything. Then suddenly, every bad thing that has happened to me before also comes flooding back.
5. I miss her constantly, even if we just spent time together earlier that same day. And I always wait for her messages to the point that I constantly check my notification center every few minutes because my phone has been on DND for so long.
6. In almost every aspect of the relationship, I feel “too much.” I always go above and beyond emotionally, mentally, and effort-wise.
7. This last one honestly makes me feel ridiculous, but sometimes I get sad or hurt when my emotional needs aren’t met by her, even though I never communicated them in the first place (sometimes, i just repost tiktoks or tweets). Also logically, I know that’s unfair because nobody can read minds after all.

The thing is, I’m fully aware this isn’t healthy and that I need to develop a more secure attachment. Before we even became official, I promised myself I would never make another person my entire world because I knew it could become unhealthy. But over time, I got deeply attached anyway, and now I feel frustrated at myself because I saw it happening like I know damn well, yet I still ended up this way.

I’ve already been trying to work on myself, but I always feel like I end up back at square one.

For additional context, we’re both turning 18 this year. We’ve known each other for about a year and we’re incoming college freshmen. I really want to become better not just for myself, but also because I don’t want this to eventually damage our relationship.

Also, I want to make this clear: my girlfriend has done absolutely nothing wrong. This is about me and my own emotional patterns, not her mistreating me in any way. I don’t want anyone to see her in a bad light.

Thank you for reading. I’d really appreciate any advice.

rant lang 😭🙏 ahahaha, i passed dlsu kasi pero my family is really not financially capable of sending me there, kaya i had to choose a state university here in the province instead.

then my seniors from this state u sent our department’s faculty directory. upon checking the info about the faculty members, i noticed almost all of them had DLSU as part of their educational background, MA/PhD in the same major i passed ngayon as an undergrad huhu. wala lang, feeling ko hindi na ako tinatantanan ng dream uni ko kasi kung saan-saan ko na lang siya nakikita hahaha. hirap tuloy makausad

hello po. may sim po ba na malakas yung signal sa loob ng campus? noong nag-enroll po kasi ako, mahina po talaga yung signal ko, halos wala na pong masagap haha. globe user po ako, btw.

for those who once dreamed of studying at a specific university or pursuing a dream program but weren’t able to make it happen—whether due to finances, circumstances, or anything else—did you ever truly move on from it?

ive been wondering abt this a lot lately haha. does it actually get better as time goes by, or do the regrets and what ifs still come back every now and then?

(as someone who ended up choosing a state u in our province and had to let go of a slot in a big 4 uni)

hello, may mga students din ba rito na hindi talaga nagagawang mag-aral kahit kailan? kasi ganoon ako. most of the time naman i get high and decent grades kahit ganito ako, fortunately. minsan, nakakapangsisi nga lang kasi i would’ve gotten a higher/perfect score kung nagreview lang ako.

i know i probably have more potential than what i’m showing right now kung nagagawa ko lang talagang mag-aral.. kaya i have regrets din. pero kahit gaano pa ako ka-aware, hindi ko magawang ma-unleash yung potential na iyon. baka tamad lang ako or something pero yun haha! i wanted to know if there are others who are like me too.

i’ve been going back and forth about whether i should still hold on to my dream of studying at DLSU or slowly accept that it might not be for me.

i come from a low/middle income family, and as much as i want this, i can’t ignore the reality that sustaining my studies there would be difficult. i still can’t believe i passed the DCAT, especially since i see myself as just an average student. because of that, i’m planning to apply for the st. la salle financial assistance grant and hope for the full waiver with stipend. but at the same time, there’s this constant fear in me—what if i get it, but i’m not able to keep it?

i keep thinking about the worst-case scenarios. what if i fail to meet the required grades? what if the scholarship gets taken away? i know that if that happens, my family won’t be able to shoulder the expenses, and i might have no choice but to transfer or even stop studying. it feels like i’d be building something i’m not sure i can hold onto.

my family is also worried that i might feel out of place or even be judged because of our financial situation. we are from the province too, so i also have to put my living expenses (e.g. dorm, transpo, foods etc.) in manila into concern!

i guess i’m just looking for reassurance or honesty from people who once felt this way but still chose to continue in DLSU or anyone who chose to study in manila despite the financial situation. was it hard to maintain the required grades for scholarship? were you able to keep going despite the pressure and struggles? did you have regrets studying in manila? 😭 i am sorry for all these questions, i’m really looking for advices or smth ahahahahah

i really want this, but i’m scared that wanting it might not be enough.

that’s all. thank you for reading, it means a lot. :)

incoming freshie po na balak mag dorm sa siel !! baka may tips/advice rin po kayo ehehe. salamat :)