u/unethicalpoet

I met this guy for a one night stand. He was every thing I have ever wanted in a man. All wrapped up in one person., We were obviously intimate. Easily best of my life.

then....I was told by one of my mentors to block him and focus on myself. So I did. He blocked me back on all platforms including my number

that would be that right?

Except I have been in VIOLENT incredible incredible pain. Thinking of him constantly. Incredible grief. My whole world is up ending. I had a series of rejections after that. And been thrown into total isolation. One of my close friends rejected me horribly and ended the friendship soon after the block from this guy

all these wounds came to the surface. I had to confront my childhood trauma. My depression. Somehow in midst of all this I also somehow unlocked my life path and mission? and it became very clear to me what I was sent on this planet to do.

its been two weeks no contact from him.And all this transpired. I dont know whats happening. A catalyst perhaps if not a twin flame?

I have been working with my current sponsor for 2 years

Just fresh in a relapse where I was having casual sex with random one night stands and multiple partners

I also decided to get sober from drugs and alcohol and one month sober in AA

Both my AA sponsor and slaa sponsor want me to stop having sex and go no contact with Qualifiers and stop pursuing men

I DONT WANT TO. Its making me want to quit program entirely even AA and go back out

I have stopped acting out with multiple partners I have one sexual partner right now like a fwb that's going okay for me and I feel okay

I hate wrestling with my desire to stop and be in this program

I hate it. Should I just stop slaa and focus on AA?