i can't look at my childhood photos without feeling disgusted by myself
i was looking back at some photos of myself from ages 1–10 and i can barely look at them. like, in what world is a literal child/baby just plain ugly 💀 i've never once looked at another kid that age and thought "they're hideous" but that's genuinely all i can think when i look at myself. just pure hatred and disgust for my kid self.
what makes it worse is i had a relatively happy childhood and i look genuinely happy in these photos. but that's never what comes to mind when i see these photos. it's just, “why did i look like that,” or “why did i go outside looking like that.” all the good memories get drowned out.
and the saddest part is these are basically the only photos i have of myself genuinely smiling, carefree, just existing without overthinking it. because from 14–19 i avoided cameras completely and never took any photos of myself.