u/throwingawayamirite

Here is the original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1sy1u2w/my_f38_bf_m40_has_female_friend_hes_getting_too/

Well, completely unsurprisngly, we broke up. It wasn't exactly because of the female friend, but moreso how he prioritized her in a couple of situations, and I called him out on it, and he didn't like that, and broke up with me.

Without going into a ton of detail I felt she pressured me into a semi-dangerous activity that I didn't want to do. He was there as well. After I did it, I was feel very shaky and nervous, and expressed that to him, and she was pressurizing me a bit, and he snapped at me and said I should never have done anything I wasn't comfortable with. That it was all completely my fault for doing it. Zero blame on her, or even acknowledgement.

Then, in a similar activity (that she does as well), I expressed to him an insecurity I had about not being good enough, and he went off saying how miserable and negative I was (I'm literally not, I'm an incredibly bubbly and friendly person), and turned it against me on how me & him were not compatible. I knew he was comparing me to her because at one point I saw them giggling and going off in a corner.

Mind you - he still hung out with her on the weekend when I wasn't there. Just the two of them. And blasting each other all over social media.

All I can think is - how dare you poke at an insecurity your partner has, and make them feel so bad about it? It's just cruel behavior and he was no longer a safe space. He's completely infatuated with this woman.

I honestly just think he's a piece of shit. And she can have him.

I've never done this before - are marriage licenses public? This would be in Virginia or Maryland, and from anytime between 2023-now. It's someone who does not have an online trace (no social media). If anyone can advise, please let me know. I already check The Knot and Zola registries, and couldn't find anything. Thanks in advance

I am fuming at PM's authentication process, which has twice, falsely, accused me of selling counterfiet items. One was a bag from Polene, which I purchased from the store itself in 2024, which I have a receipt for, yet, they sent me an email with a ton of absurd legal language saying they were going to raise this issue with the FTC. WHAT!? I am a small personal seller, not a giant organized reseller and I just sell my own personal items I cannot use anymore. Anyway, I relisted the item, WITH THE RECEIPT and it sold immediately, but I accepted an offer under $500 so it didn't for authentication. Absurd.

Second, I have a real, authentic Gucci purse which I bought from a famous luxury/designer hangbag reselling location while on vacation in London, and they have also just said that was fake. WHAT THE F!? I am beyond pissed. They've lost me over $1000 in sales.

I'm going to relist on The Real Real or Vestiare Collection (I've sold one luxury pair of shoes there before), but I am beyond pissed off. They don't give any reason for justification.

Is anyone else experiencing this or just me?

I'm too old for this, but just wanted some perspective. My very new BF (M40) of ~6 months has a very close female friend, that I think he crosses some boundaries with. There has never been anything sexual, but I think they are flirting, teasing eachother, and he has a strange attitude/way of talking everytime we talk about her. He almost undermines their relationship, and overshares how it's just friends, now it's to a point where I am getting suspicious, but this could be because have bought it up with him before. I have bought it up 3 times before in a larger way, told him how uncomfortable it makes me that he has a single woman who is ~8 years younger than him in his life this way. The issues:

(1) The texting: I have seen their texts (he'll text her when we're lying next to each other so I'll see) and there is nothing sexual, but it feels like verging on emotional cheating. I have told him this. They text each other all day everyday about how their days are going. I find it extremely odd that she texts him random stuff like "oh I just got to the gym it's so nice its empty" or "wow they changed my eye color on my ID" - it's honestly just random shit throughout the day. I will also say my BF is a HUGE texter - he texts everyone, but with her I feel it's different somehow. Most of the other female friends he has are all married or in relationships.

(2) Hanging out a lot when I am not there: it deeply annoys me that she is his 'default person' (my words, not his) to hang out with when I am not there. I have a pretty busy and full life, some weekends I can't hang out, he will most likely be making plans with her.

(3) Favors for her: my perception is that he goes out of his way to do favors for her, that I do not think he does for me. He'll pick up packages for her, go out of his way to make sure she has stuff she needs for some activity. I bought it up with him and he said 'oh there hasn't been an opportunity for me to do that for you'. Typing this out I feel dumb for believing him.

What he says: This is what he says: "I have no interest in dating her. She is just a friend I have gotten close to and it's nice that I have her in life to talk about different things with". But I think he is encouraging it maybe without realizing? He is someone from a pretty small town and always sort of sees the best in people. He is a sweet and genuine person, and I truly like that about him. He is incredibly helpful and kind. He was also previously in a relationship where he was cheated on and was very devastated and depressed by that.

About her: She is a very sweet person. All the mutuals friends like her (and me). She also is not rude or mean to me. I think she doesn't realize she is using him as almost a replacement for a boyfriend? I'm not sure. She also says all the time how grateful she is for him, that she doesn't want to lose his friendship, stuff like that. It seems a little immature to me and kind of irks me that she thinks they have some unbreakable bond when he's only known her a month longer than me.

Bottom line: I guess I am trying to understand if I am letting my own insecurities get in the way of an otherwise healthy relationship (something similar happened to be in a past situationship), and if I should just take deep breaths, be ok with this.

However, I can't understand texting someone incessently about my day, who is not my significant other, especially when I know they have a partner of their own.

Does anyone have any insight or examples from their lives they could share? I am totally fine with walking away if this is inappropriate or too much, but I also don't want to self-sabotage.