u/the-overloaf

im ftm and oml it's insane how much I hate my body. I have my boobs i hate my period I hate my privates I hate my voice I hate it. I feel like im trapped with no way out.

It's just crazy cause like. Objectively I have no reason to kill myself. Sure finances aren't great but I have friends, I have an okay car for emergencies, my job isn't great but everyone there likes me and I have no reason to leave it. If my car goes out I live close enough to walk and get ride. Last year I finally decided to lose a bunch of weight th r and physically I've never been better since. I know a bunch of people would be sad if I died.

but when I think about my self and my body I just want to die. I genuinely dont think I can be happy as a woman no matter how I try to frame it. A fundamental part of me cant accept that I have boobs and such. I want to be a man. I want to live as a man with a flat chest and a penis and be able to love a man as a man. I dread my period each month because it just sends me into an angry suicidal haze.

I am TRYING to transition. I have appointments set next month. But its a bitch trying to wait. Im so fucking tired of living like this. Im so jealous people can just Exist without having to think about themselves at all while I have to go to a doctor and basically beg for my life just to exist. I want to walk into work tomorrow with a beard and a low voice and no one question it but I know that's physically impossible.

this shit is so hard man </3 I really feel like out of the 4 girls my.mom had it should've been me. something in her methed up brain made me trans and I hate it. I wish I could live as a cis woman but I cant. I just cant

If tadc was a musical Running the show would be another example of villains having the best songs

69k all for Madokami

Got all of homuras ex