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u/swuidwardstitties

▲ 0 r/Rants

I don’t know anything anymore

I don’t know how to speak anymore. I don’t know how to rant, I don’t know what to say about myself. My life is great, I have a beautiful baby and an AMAZING working wife who’s allowed me to be a full time stay at home dad while working to get a degree in something better. I have hopes and dreams, good reasons to chase those dreams and stick around. I feel like I have it all and more to look forward to. But I don’t know who I am in this chaos. I dont do anything, at least it feels that way. I take care of my plants, spiders, baby, and wife when she’s home, I do art, I read, I watch movies, play games, it all just seems like a sea of beige lately. And I haven’t found anything about myself in any of it. I don’t know how to talk to anyone around me without using the same repeated phrases and subjects from the last hundred times I spoke to someone. I’m stuck behind this big screen in my mind, bumping my head on it every time I feel myself waking up from this nonsensical dream. Sometimes I feel things but it just makes my ears ring and it feels like my soul is bleeding, I feel this manic storm spinning around my head for about 30 seconds and then I’m right back to the sea of beige.

Anyway

I don’t know what I’m saying anymore.

Maybe somebody will connect with this before I take it down lol.

reddit.com
u/swuidwardstitties — 5 days ago
▲ 43 r/TarantulaKeeping+1 crossposts

I posted some crappy pics of my P. Metallica earlier but got some better ones and wanted to get good ones of my other lil guys.

Their enclosures have been cleaned btw, just wanted to snap my pics first :)

u/swuidwardstitties — 14 days ago
▲ 9 r/tarantulas

I thought I lost this little guy not too long ago, didn’t realize that these pumpkin patch spiders (Hapalopus sp. Columbia) were so resilient. I know the substrate looks dry, I had to do some brushing around to find this dude just to be sure he was still alive. So excited to see it grow up and develop that adult figure and beautiful patterns.

u/swuidwardstitties — 15 days ago
▲ 2 r/TarantulaKeeping+1 crossposts

I purchased a tiny pumpkin patch spiderling (Hapalopus sp. Colombia) and a few weeks ago went to feed it but to my surprise I found what I believed to be my spiderling in a death curl. I misted the enclosure, dropped a couple of wingless fruit flies in just to see if maybe it would bounce back, but the spiderling was still there in a death curl and no longer alive. A couple weeks later I realized that what I was looking at was a molt, I know I should’ve taken it out to inspect it more closely. It’s been a few weeks without feeding or misting the enclosure, is there any chance that I can save the little guy if I find him? If so how would I go about ensuring that I can save him and take care of him properly. Any advice helps, I know I messed up and I wanna make it right.

u/swuidwardstitties — 15 days ago