u/softbutmadly

it my boyfriend's loss of sexual interest temporary?

I met my boyfriend seven months ago, and at the beginning it really felt like we were going to have an incredibly passionate and intense sex life, both because of the way we talked and how he acted. But then he started having severe back pain and we found out he had a herniated disc. He had surgery, and we haven’t had sex for four months.

At first it was understandable because of the pain. But later, during recovery, we tried a few times and he couldn’t get an erection. He said that after such a long time without physical intimacy, he was struggling and needed time. I understand that, but I started wondering if the problem was me. A few times I couldn’t hold it in anymore and told him, maybe a bit resentfully, that the whole situation felt strange and I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. He told me he hasn’t even watched porn in a long time and that sex just hasn’t been a priority for him lately.

Normally he’s a man with a very high libido. I honestly don’t know what to do. It’s now been a month since the surgery, and he still talks about moving in together, makes sweet plans for our future, and brings up these topics himself. But there’s basically no sex. He doesn’t touch me with passion anymore. There’s affection, hugs, kind words — yes — but no sexual energy. I’ve never experienced something like this before and I can’t tell if I’m being insensitive or not.

reddit.com
u/softbutmadly — 21 hours ago
▲ 1 r/AskONLYWomenOver30+1 crossposts

i need a sign

I’ve been unemployed for 9 months, and for the past 2 months I’ve been interviewing. I’ve worked in for almost 10 years. Some of the companies were big, and I made it to final stages, but every rejection felt strangely okay.. because deep down, I didn’t even want those jobs. I knew I’d be unhappy there.

At the same time, my boyfriend and I are deeply in love and going thru a huge life transition together. We decided to move to a different city and start a new chapter. It feels exciting, but also terrifying because I still don’t know what I want to do for work. I just know I don’t want to stay physically tied to my old city anymore, so I need to build/find something remote I just can’t seem to find the motivation, inspiration or clarity to start.

I really hope this move becomes a positive turning point for both my life and our relationship. I just need a sign that we’re not making a mistake!!

reddit.com
u/softbutmadly — 3 days ago