u/singingmossymissy

I am not permitted to drive alone (family and personal rule for safety, not legal mandate) due to falling asleep constantly, randomly, suddenly, and in weird places (including but not limited to: briefly while driving (hence the rule), my roof (don't ask), and at an e-poker table in a highly overcrowded casino). I am getting tested for narcolepsy, which I do have a family history of and highly suspect.

To be clear: I fully agree that I shouldn't be driving.

What I'm not enjoying is what this means for my freedom, when it seems that "you can drive, but only when someone is with you" has a catch: my immediate family I live with is not willing to do that.

I understand that their time and activities are important, and I am not asking that they chauffeur me everywhere all the time or even just accompany me all the time. The issue is that they're not willing to do it... ever. Not unless it's somewhere they want to go and when they want to go, anyway.

I can't help but feel like I'm being punished for something I can't control. They argue that I can control it, and that I just "shouldn't make plans when I'm tired"... but that simply doesn't work, because I'm usually not tired until it's already happening. They believe that I'm genuinely just not getting enough sleep and that's why it's happening, but I don't think so, as I get roughly the same amount of sleep that I have for years with no issues until the last few months.

They could be right about my sleep quality, since I wake up at 5:30-6:30 am every morning and sometimes have trouble falling asleep willingly, both due to my severe anxiety disorder (the other reason I'm not really a fan of driving alone)-- but even if I give them that, that still isn't a solution, as it too is something out of my control.

I'm going to have an open talk with them about how I feel today, but I'm not hopeful as they're well aware of how much the scraps of independence I have left mean to me. This is really taking its toll on my quality of life, especially in the social sense. It's very hard to go on dates when your partner also doesn't drive and nobody is even willing to ever come with you to pick him up or drop him off. Before anyone asks: we don't live at all within walking distance, and our towns are too small for Uber or public transit. As someone who has lost a friend in a car accident before, I can't justify putting others and their loved ones in danger by just driving anyway with the high risk of falling asleep literally anywhere, even if I was willing to just risk it with my own safety (which I am also not willing to risk, not to worry; this isn't that kind of post and I'm extremely grateful not to be *there* mentally /gen).

So... What do I do? I don't like inconveniencing people, but am I wrong for feeling a little sad and disappointed that they won't take me anywhere? One of them is literally fully unemployed and demands the use of my car all the time, but still won't take me on a brief drive to somewhere of my choosing.

I'd like some recommendations! :3