u/simplepastense

I believe I always had this phobia, but didn’t know it existed until I was a senior in HS going through health issues.

When I threw up in 6th grade from food poisoning, I remember it being several months after saying to myself, “it’s been 3 months” I’m okay. I also remember that it wasn’t pleasant, but I was okay the next day. Completely fine. I also couldn’t wear the clothes I got sick in, because to me they were connected to throwing up.

During my most extreme parts of having this phobia, I was physically washing myself with bleach and throwing out clothes of someone said they felt sick - not even if they were sick.

I have made tremendous strides, all on my own. I eat more food that used to scare me, but there are times I still struggle. I go out to eat even during flu season. I don’t wash my hands as often. I can watch scenes of people throwing up. I get nervous taking new medication, but continue to do so, even if I’m scared. I’m not seeking reassurance that my boyfriend cooked the food right, because I know he wouldn’t put me in danger & if I were to ever get sick, it’s because the food was bad, not that he cooked it wrong.

The biggest problem I face, while still trying to recover is that I don’t think about it 24/7, but I hyper fixate on it if I’m around someone who was sick or I’m in a situation where I feel physically ill. That’s very difficult because there’s no way to get my brain to not think about it. Anyone have tips for this?

I do have very hard time with sensory issues, so think that plays a huge part, but I’m working on it.

I do have to admit though, I am not thinking about it 24/7 and that is never where I thought I would be.

Recovery is weird, hard, but exciting when you see yourself making strides.

But please keep going. I have to believe throwing up isn’t worse than getting an arm or leg cut off.

I enjoy this series, but I often have trouble trying to figure out how it makes me feel.

I have a cousin who is autistic, almost non-verbal, but can speak in words (doesn’t need any assistive technology). He used to tell us that he had a girlfriend in school (he was in my grade, but in life skills), but I don’t think he understood what that meant. He just heard us (his other cousins) saying we had boyfriends/girlfriends. He’s not at the same ability level as the rest of the cast, but he reminds me most of Dylan.

I loved that this season included more diversity. I think for something as specific as autism, it’s important to show those with different races and abilities.

My only thought was, after Dylan spoke about being alone for so long, I feel as if he needs more friends than a relationship. I’m not saying he can’t have a relationship. He should pursue one if he wants, but I think he needs more friendship relationships before he can understand what being in a relationship is to him.

Maybe, I’d just love to see Dylan out with people rather than being alone. Love him. Love how much his mother supports him and I hope he see more happiness in his future!

Just saw a post that showed Serena, Aunt Lydia, and Offred in their outfits.

Why are the handmaid’s outfits more formfitting? It seems contradictory to how handmaids are viewed.

Maybe I’m just thinking too much about it.