need help
i need some advice. i divorced my narc and abusive ex-husband. we share a 5 year old and 1 year old. today was our 1 year olds birthday and he couldn’t help himself from yelling at me and ruining it. he’s so abusive in every way, jealous, on drugs, bi-polar and you name it. he can’t even pick up our kids, nothing at his place so i carry really everything. he’s below the bare minimum but me being such a good and forgiving person, i still let him come over and see his kids. the verbal abuse is getting out of hand and to do this on the day i gave birth, our child’s 1st birthday? the weekend of mother’s day….. he ruined it last year and now he ruined it again. my question is, what did it take to say fuck it and stay out of our lives or just go no contact and go to court? he owes me so much in child support and i still have let him see them. screaming in front of my 1 year old and 5 year old on his birthday bc i let him join us for the day…. made me realize this is exactly why i left. you can hurt me all you want but i will never raise two boys thinking this is how you should talk to a woman, let alone the wife and mother or your children. i do not want to traumatize them. i just need help bc i get strong and don’t respond when he calls me 30 times then a week goes by and i somehow forgive him? tonight was beyond acceptable. i was getting screamed at inside the restaurant, i was balling and people were staring. it was so beyond sad and i embarrassing. i just don’t know how much i can’t take even with him being the “father” of our boys.